CHAPTER 103
Jax and I laid silently on the bed until we heard the front door open and close and I sat up quickly.
It seemed like the guys had been gone for ages, so we got up and we went to the stairs looking at Lucas and Harry starting to come up the stairs.
“How did it go?” Jax asked.
“No worries. Chain’s gone and all the evidence that Skylar was in that house is gone.” Lucas answered.
“I wish you would have told me that you were going.”
“You didn’t want us to. But we knew that we had to.” Harry said.
“We weren’t going to let you get wrapped up in our messy lives.” Lucas said as they got to the landing where Jax and I were standing. So I leaned forward and hugged him.
I then hugged Harry and he seemed a little hesitant but he wrapped his arms around me as well.
“What’s this for?” Harry asked.
“I just want to.” I said.
“Just tell them. There’s no point in keeping secrets or feeling guilt that you shouldn’t feel.” Jax said.
“What guilt?” Lucas asked, confused.
So I told them about how I felt about our fight before I was kidnapped and the horrible things that I said to them. How I didn’t even want to be near them and they understood why I was being so weird right now.
They did the same as Jax and assured me that they hadn’t even thought of that.
They were just worried about getting me back. They didn’t even care that I screamed at them before I went missing.
They were actually glad that I did. It made them realize what assholes they were at the party and it will never happen again.
That night the guys all slept in my room again and I knew that it was going to be like this for a while. None of them were going to leave me alone.
But I had to pretend to go to sleep before the guys would finally doze off.
It was hard for me though. I was tossing and turning all night and trying not to wake them up.
I wasn’t getting much sleep at all.
Any time I closed my eyes I could see Bentley’s face. And hear the gunshot that I fired that killed him.
I managed to get up and sneak out of bed early in the morning and I went downstairs to get a coffee in the kitchen.
I sat in the dining room staring out the window and I had so much going through my head that I could barely sort through it. So I knew that there was only one thing I could do.
When I finished my coffee I went back upstairs and I got changed and then I woke Harry up.
“Come on. We gotta train.” I said.
“Now?” He asked.
“5am. Best time.” I said.
So he stumbled out of bed and even when he was half asleep he still looked absolutely beautiful. How the hell did these guys do that?
Harry went to his room to get dressed and then we went downstairs and headed out to the training room.
“How long have you been awake?”
“A while. It’s not important. I just want to get to training.” I said.
Harry wasn’t going to argue with me. He knew that I was more serious now than ever before.
I hated feeling so vulnerable and being kidnapped was doing exactly that.
So we did some weight training and cardio before we started some hand to hand combat.
I was really trying to keep my mind occupied but it was almost impossible. No matter what I was doing.
I kept hearing that gunshot in my head.
I killed someone. I actually shot someone and took his life.
Yeah, he kidnapped me and I don’t think he was ever going to let me go. But that doesn’t change the fact that I killed him.
I started punching harder and harder into the pads on Harry’s hands and I wasn’t even listening to him anymore.
I just kept punching as hard as I could and as fast as I could until I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Harry finally got me to stop but I fell to the ground and started crying.
He sat next to me and pulled me into his arms.
“I can’t do this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I sobbed out.
“What is it?” He asked.
“I killed him. I keep hearing that gun go off. And I’m holding it. I killed him.” I said.
“Skylar. You did what you had to do. You survived.” Harry said.
“I don’t know how to do this.” I said.
“I think you need to start talking to us instead of keeping this stuff to yourself. Us three, we’re not angels. We’ve done stuff. Worse than what you did. We will never judge you for what you did or what you say about it. Just talk to us. Don’t leave it all bottled up. That’s what’s going to hurt the most.” He said.
It wasn’t long before I heard Jax and Lucas come running down to the training room.
They obviously saw the breakdown from the house and got really concerned.
“I’m losing my fucking mind.” I said.
“It’s alright to feel this way. I did after the first time I killed someone. And that someone, he really deserved it.” Harry said.
“Who did you kill? Your first time?” I asked.
“It was the guy that killed Lizzy. I tracked him down and made him pay. But I still felt the same way. Like it was wrong. Like I shouldn’t have done it.” Harry said.
“I don’t know if I want it to get easier or not. I mean, if it does get easier then doesn’t that mean I am losing a part of myself. That I am becoming meaner?” I asked.
“No way. It just means you are learning to compartmentalize.” Lucas said.
“So, live two different lives.” I said.
“Pretty much. It’s gonna take a while to get there. But you will.” Lucas said.
“Come on. You’ve had enough training today.” Jax said.
So we went inside and I went to have a shower and I got dressed in dry clean clothes and I went back to the dining room and Lucas handed me a coffee and he kissed me before he let go of the cup.
I sat at the table and I wasn’t feeling too hungry right now. But that was alright. They understood.
“I was thinking. I’ve been missing a lot of school lately. I think it might be a good idea if I just sign up to finish high school over the internet.” I said.
“You don’t want to go back to school?” Harry asked.
“I’ve been wanting to get the hell out of there for years. I’m just doing it sooner and hopefully I can still graduate.”
“It’s not a good idea to shut yourself up in the house.” Lucas said.
“I’ll still go out and I’ll still see you guys. But I don’t want to go back to school. I know how that place operates. The only thing people are going to be talking about for the rest of the year will be Bentley and Madison. And how they were in a sorted love triangle and then Madison killed Bentley and then killed herself.” I explained.
“Yeah. I think it’s best that she doesn’t go back to that.” Jax said.
“Alright. I’ll get that sorted out for you today.” Lucas said.
“Thanks.” I said.
Lucas’ phone started ringing and he groaned when he looked at it which meant that it was his father calling.
So he took it in the other room and pretty soon we heard him yelling over the phone before he hung up and came back to the room.
“We gotta go. Joseph wants to go and meet with dad and apparently we have to be there.” Lucas said.
“I’m staying here with Skylar.” Jax said.
“He said that it has to be all three of us. I think you’re gonna have to come with us.” Lucas said, looking at me.
I nodded my head and I finished my coffee and I went to grab my jacket and shoes.
We all got into Lucas’ car and we drove to the mansion that his father lives in with his new wife.
I looked up at the house and I remember being here that night at the ball. But that wasn’t the best experience I’ve had here. So I was trying to forget about that.
As soon as I got out of the car Jax walked around beside the car and grabbed onto my hand.
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