CHAPTER 181
JAX'S POV
The decision came down to a single conversation on a Tuesday morning. I found Skylar in our home office, surrounded by psychological evaluation reports and adoption papers that would change ten-year-old Michael's life forever.
"You're really going to do this," I said, settling into the chair across from her desk.
"Dr. Morrison thinks it's Michael's best chance for normal psychological development," she replied. "A family that doesn't see the world through threat assessment protocols."
"A family that doesn't know him or understand where he came from."
"A family that will let him be a normal ten-year-old instead of a future operative in training."
I studied her face, seeing the same determination that had driven her to sacrifice everything for the mission. But this time, the mission was saving our youngest child from becoming like us.
"What does Michael think about this?"
"Michael thinks he's going to spend a year with a nice family in Vermont while we handle dangerous work. He doesn't know it's permanent."
"You're going to lie to him?"
"I'm going to protect him from having to choose between his family and his chance at a normal life."
Through the window, I could see Michael in the garden with Harry, learning what looked like plant identification but was actually wilderness survival training. Even our most innocent family activities had tactical components that most families would never consider.
"Have you told the others?"
"I'm telling all of you tonight. After Michael goes to bed."
"And you think Harry and Lucas are going to accept this?"
"I think they want what's best for Michael, just like we do."
"What's best for Michael is growing up with his real family."
"Is it? Dr. Chen's research suggests that children raised in our environment become psychologically isolated adults. Look at Addison, Liam, and Elena."
I couldn't argue. Our older children were brilliant and dedicated to their work. They were also emotionally distant, unable to form romantic relationships with anyone who didn't share their worldview.
"There's something else," Skylar continued, pulling out a medical report. "Michael's been having nightmares about tactical scenarios and rescue operations. He's dreaming about hostage extractions."
She showed me drawings Michael had made in art therapy - pictures that looked like war zones populated by stick figures carrying weapons. Images that would concern any child psychologist who didn't understand that this was simply his normal family environment.
"The therapist thinks Michael is showing early signs of hypervigilance and threat assessment conditioning. He's developing the same psychological patterns as his siblings, but he's young enough that intervention might still be possible."
Before I could respond, Michael burst through the office door with the kind of enthusiasm that only ten-year-olds could manage.
"Dad Jax!" he called, using the title he'd settled on to distinguish between his four parents. "Uncle Harry says I can help with the new security system installation! Can I? Please?"
I looked at his excited face, seeing innocence that still existed despite growing up in our unusual household. Unlike his siblings, Michael genuinely enjoyed activities that had no tactical value.
"Maybe tomorrow, buddy. Today you should focus on your regular schoolwork."
"But schoolwork is boring. Security systems are interesting."
"Schoolwork is how you learn to think about things other than security and protection."
"Why would I want to think about other things?"
The question hit like a physical blow. To Michael, our world of constant vigilance was completely normal. He couldn't imagine why anyone would want to think about anything else.
"Because there are lots of interesting things in the world besides keeping people safe," Skylar said gently. "Art, music, science, sports, friendship."
"But those things don't help people."
"They help people in different ways. They make life beautiful and worth living."
Michael considered this seriously, then shrugged. "I guess. But I still think security systems are more important."
After he left for his homework, I turned back to Skylar. "You heard that conversation. He's already choosing our worldview over normal childhood interests."
"Which is exactly why this intervention is necessary now, before those choices become permanent."
"And if it doesn't work? If he grows up feeling abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him unconditionally?"
"Then at least he'll have the chance to form relationships with people who don't see love and violence as interchangeable concepts."
I moved to the window, watching Michael with Harry examining plants that could be used for wilderness medicine. It was a lesson that combined botany with tactical preparation in ways that seemed natural to our family.
"What if you're wrong about this? What if removing him causes more psychological damage than raising him here?"
"Then I'll spend the rest of my life knowing I failed him. But if I'm right, he'll be grateful that someone loved him enough to give him choices we never had."
"What about us? What about losing another child?"
"We're not losing him. We're giving him the chance to be something other than what we made his siblings become."
"His siblings aren't damaged. They're exceptional."
"They're exceptionally isolated. They see every new person as either an asset or a threat."
I realized she was right. Addison had broken up with three partners because work took priority. Liam lived alone and preferred it. Elena had never formed a close friendship outside our family network.
"What does the adoptive family know about his background?"
"They know he's from a high-profile family involved in humanitarian work. They know he's been exposed to mature concepts. They don't know the specifics of our methods."
"And they're prepared to handle a child raised in our environment?"
"They're a normal family. A teacher and an engineer with two teenage children. They live in a small town where the biggest security concern is whether to lock car doors at night."
"That sounds terrifying."
"That sounds like everything we wanted for our children but didn't know how to provide."
As evening approached and we prepared for the family meeting that would determine Michael's future, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were about to make either the most loving sacrifice of our lives or the biggest mistake in our parenting history.
"What if he grows up and chooses to come back to us?"
"Then we'll welcome him back and support whatever choice he makes. But at least it will be his choice, made with full knowledge of the alternatives."
But as I watched her finalize arrangements that would send our youngest child away, I wondered if love really required this kind of sacrifice.
The family meeting that night would either tear us apart or finally give one of our children the chance at normalcy we'd never been able to provide ourselves.
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