CHAPTER 16
Sitting on the couch with Skylar next to me and the guys were on the other chairs while we were watching TV, trying to take our minds off of everything that was going on right now, I couldn’t help but let my mind wonder.
One day we were sitting outside her house, next to the pool studying. She was wearing long sleeves and long pants, which I thought was strange because we were next to the pool and it was a really warm day. But I didn’t think too much about it, because that’s what she always dressed in. I just assumed that was her choice of clothing.
We made our promises sitting next to that pool. Promises to each other that we were going to be together forever. We pinky shook on it and everything. And I remember the way Skylar’s face lit up when we did that and I made that promise to her. That we were going to be best friends forever.
But to look at her now, she definitely didn’t have that same sparkle about her. Even if she was being beaten back then, she looked like she still had hope.
She doesn’t have that anymore. She doesn’t have any hope left.
I think I might have had something to do with that.
Due to my own family bullshit issues at the time, I was forced to change schools and join a new social group. There wasn’t any time left for Skylar and that’s how we lost touch.
I tried to keep the friendship going but I was the one that started distancing myself from her.
I’ve hated myself every day for doing that. But Skylar can never know the truth.
I don’t want her to know that I didn’t disappear from her life completely.
She was always on my mind, but when we started at her school the other day, I had to pretend like I didn’t know who she was. I had to pretend to everyone. Even Harry and Lucas, because they didn’t know what I had been doing.
I watched her, from afar. Without her knowing. I couldn’t let her know that I was watching.
When I saw Madison and Grace on our first day of school, I wanted to smack them both across the head but I had to pretend like I didn’t know who they were.
I’d seen them bullying her. They were awful to her and they always got other kids in on it too.
Everyone thought it was so funny to pick on her. The one kid in the whole school that couldn’t defend herself.
Either she was too weak or she was too beaten down by her father that she couldn’t fight back. I didn’t know about her father. I just knew about what was going on at school.
If I knew about her dad then I definitely would have been there a lot sooner. I would have gotten her out sooner.
I saw those assholes smear dog shit on the front of her locker and when she opened it up there was a dead rat inside with a note. It was telling her to leave the school before that rat was her.
She broke down crying in front of everyone and yet, I still didn’t do anything. I just watched.
Why the fuck didn’t I do anything?
It made me so angry to see what they were doing, but I wasn’t any better. I knew that I wasn’t. I didn’t deserve to have her as a friend. And if she ever found out and she hated me for it, then I wouldn’t blame her for it.
I couldn’t blame her for it.
I was so ashamed of leaving her without saying goodbye that I didn’t feel like I could just jump in and come to her rescue when she needed me at school.
I waited for everyone to leave and get to class before I cleaned up the mess on her locker and I found her lost notebook that was in a trash bin down the hall that had all of her study notes in it and as I looked through the pages, I found a picture that she had drawn. A picture of her standing in the middle of a field, completely alone with her arms out, a huge smile on her face, wearing a sundress and no marks on her at all. No scars, no bruises.
It was her way of expressing her need for freedom and to be released from the hell that she was living in.
She was a brilliant artist. Because that picture has always been stuck in my head. I have never been able to forget it.
All she’s ever wanted is to be free.
You hear of other teenagers’ dreams and what they want and they sound so frivolous and materialistic.
Skylar’s was so simple. Freedom.
I took a photo of that picture that she drew and I’ve always kept it close. It’s always meant so much to me and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know why I took a photo of it. I didn’t know why it meant so much to me.
But now, I know that it was me and my friends who were the ones that were going to help set her free. I know that picture meant so much to me because I was going to be responsible for putting that smile back on her face.
The same smile that I saw when we were 14.
We all had our own problems, which is why I was surprised that Harry and Lucas were so keen to help Skylar as well. I thought they would reject the idea of helping her until we did what we needed to do. But I was so pleased that they didn’t.
I don’t know what I would have done if I ever got the news that Skylar had been killed by her father or even if he made it look like an accident. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
Not after I stood back and did nothing. And she would have died thinking that she was completely alone.
At least now she doesn’t. She knows that she’s not alone and she never will be anymore.
I hope she knows that. Even though I know that it will take a bit for her to trust us again.
I felt Skylar rest her head on my shoulder, it made me feel all kinds of feelings. It was a sign of trust.
I knew that we were going to get back there eventually.
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