CHAPTER 13
SKYLAR POV
As I was sitting in the hospital bed looking at the hospital therapist Emily, I wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted from me. I didn’t know how far back she wanted me to go. I didn’t know what she wanted from me at all really. I was scared. I didn’t want people looking at me differently. That’s why I never told anyone about the abuse.
I had chances. There were times when I did have to go to the hospital and I could have told anyone there, but I never did because I was too scared of what they would think and if I told on my father and nothing happened, I would be in so much more trouble. He’d probably end up killing me if I did that.
“Alright Skylar. I’ve read all the notes from the doctor who admitted you to the hospital. I’m guessing that you’ve got quite a story to tell.” Emily said.
“I guess.” I said, looking down at my hands.
“It’s alright sweetie. You are completely safe here.” She said.
“It’s not just at home you know. It’s everywhere. School, everywhere I go.” I said.
“What are you talking about?” She asked. And I looked up for a minute before looking back down at my hands that were resting in my lap.
“Bullying. I don’t have any friends at school. I guess I’m not talkative enough for them. Or confident enough to be their friend. They find it easier to bully me than to be friends with me.” I said.
“What about the boys that brought you in? They care about you.” She said. And I thought back to the day that I saw them at school. When I was in the hallway and they all just walked straight past me. None of them cared about me. Jax barely looked at me as he kept on walking.
“They only just started at school. I have known Jax for a few years. We were friends in middle school. Really good friends. But when he showed up at school he saw Madison and her friends bullying me more than once. None of those guys stepped in. They didn’t do anything to help me. I think that was my final breaking point. If I couldn’t count on Jax, the memory I had of him, and the hope that I would see him again some day and that he would be happy to see me, then I really didn’t have anything.” I said.
“You wanted to see Jax again?” She asked.
“Of course I did. He’s the only friend I have ever had. I never forgot about him. I’ve missed him. But he seemed to move on without me. He didn’t even recognise me when he saw me. But I knew him straight away.” I said.
I knew that was a part of my breakdown. Jax was the final straw. If I didn’t have him as a friend, then there really was nothing to live for. And then I went home to dad who beat me and locked me in a cupboard. That was about as pathetic as I could get. I knew that it was stupid to rely on a friend from a couple of years ago. But I was so excited about tracking him down as soon as I got out of my dad’s house. I wanted to find him. But then I started thinking about how that conversation would have gone. I don’t think it would have been too great. I probably would have been too shy, or thought that he had moved on for me to actually make plans with him or anything like that.
My whole head was a mess of emotions right now. And a lot of ‘what if’s’ for a future that never happened. Because Jax is right here, right now.
“I don’t understand why I feel safe with Jax and even his friends that I don’t even know after they ignored me at school and he didn’t even know who I was. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I know what Stockholm syndrome is and that even crossed my mind for a minute, but it can’t be that, can it?” I asked. Finally looking at Emily for some answers. She looked at me with a lot of sorrow in her eyes. She knew that everything was so muddled up inside of me that I couldn’t make sense of it. She knew that I was confused and I had brought that gun out to committ suicide but other events just seemed to take over when the guys showed up.
“No. You don’t have Stockholm syndrome. I believe that you feel this way because you’ve been so isolated for your whole life. You’ve been alone with your abusive father since you were 5 and now you’ve got your old friend back and all of those guys have vowed to protect you. Something that you’ve never had before. It’s a longing for the support and protection that you are experiencing for the first time.” She explained.
So, because they are here with me and have promised to protect me that I am feeling this way. They have promised to keep my dad away from me. I heard them down the hall. They weren’t quiet. I know that they thought I was sleeping but they didn’t let him come into my room or anywhere near me. And they declared that I was gonna go home with them. I wasn’t staying here.
I guess that was something.
This actually did help me understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling and maybe I should give the guys a chance. Even if I didn’t completely trust them yet. But I didn’t trust anyone. No one’s ever given me a reason to.
Ever since they told me that I would be going home with them, I felt really uneasy about it. But if I went back to dad’s house then I was as good as dead. I’ve spoken to too many people and the police were involved now. He was going to be so mad at me. I couldn’t go back home.
Emily had mentioned placing me in a women’s shelter for abused women. I was over 18 so foster care was out of the question. I would have to go to a women’s shelter. And I have heard bad things about those sorts of places.
I know that they are a safe place and they offered protection. A lot of them for battered women worked completely off the grid. It was impossible to find them unless you knew where they were.
But I thought about living with Jax, Harry and Lucas. Even through my hesitation I began to contemplate how I could use their strength to protect myself. Especially against my father who had all the money and resources to find me anywhere. He was a real threat and I don’t think people understood just what he was capable of. Or what I had seen him do to people that weren’t me who had pissed him off.
I made up my mind right then. I was going to use them as a means of defense. To save myself.
So I called Jax and I asked them all to come back to my room. I needed to talk to them about something.
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