CHAPTER 36
I stood there holding the dagger and feeling its weight in my hand and it felt really good to hold. To have the handle in my hand and not the blade in my skin. I saw my hand start to shake at the thought of that but I quickly got it under control before Lucas could ask me any questions about it.
And the longer I thought about it, the more I was liking the idea. I had convinced myself that this is what I wanted to do. I actually convinced myself that I needed it.
“Do you think Harry would make one for me?” I asked.
So Lucas looked at me with a bit of shock before he smiled at me and he took the dagger off of me and placed it back on the wall before he put his arm around me and led me to the office. He knocked once before opening the door and Harry was sitting at the desk looking through some papers.
“What’s up?” Harry asked, leaning back on his chair.
He still had that same nonchalant look about it, like he didn’t really care about anything. I think that’s what scared me the most about him. That he didn’t seem to care, ever.
“Well, Skylar was wondering if you could make one of those beautiful daggers for her. For self defense. I think it’s a good idea.” Lucas said. But I stood there shyly for a moment because I wasn’t sure how Harry was going to react to it. It seemed to take a long time before I heard Harry move in his seat.
“Yeah. That is actually a good idea.” Harry said, causing me to look up at him in a little bit of shock.
“Alright. I’ll leave you two alone. Just sing out if you need anything.” Lucas said.
So I walked into the office as Lucas closed the door and Harry pulled another chair up to the desk and I sat down on it.
“Do you have anything specific in mind that you want?” Harry asked.
“Not really. I don’t know too much about this stuff.” I admitted.
“That’s alright. We’ll work something out.” He said.
He opened the drawer and he pulled out a measuring tape and he grabbed my hand and started measuring my hand size so the dagger would fit perfectly in it. The soft touch of his skin on mine gave me a chill down my spine but I didn’t pull away at all. I looked at the concentration on Harry’s face while he was working and it was really beautiful. Especially the amount of effort that he put into what he was doing.
He would write down the measurements but then he also started a rough sketch.
I was sure that I wanted a dagger and not a throwing knife. I wanted a specific dagger. Something that stood out. Something that was just mine. And knives were just too common. The blade of a dagger was so beautiful and the shape of them. I loved the ones that were hanging on the wall outside.
He pulled my chair right next to his while he was doing the sketch which surprised me. He usually kept his distance from me. He wasn’t usually the one pulling me in closer to him. I could feel my breathing hitch a little in my chest and my heart started beating a little faster. But I don’t think he noticed. Or if he did, he didn’t pay attention to it.
He held my hand again and I felt his calloused grip envelop my hand as he was taking the rest of the measurements.
I guess this dagger was really going to be just for me.
And when he was finished with all the little busy work he lifted my hand up and kissed the palm of it. Before he moved on to kissing each of my fingers, individually.
Did he just really do that?
I never expected just an intimate moment coming from Harry.
My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest this time. And it felt like my body was on fire.
I wasn’t expecting that.
I tried to pull my hand away but Harry tightened his grip on it. His other hand slowly moved up my arm until he was caressing my neck, kneading gently but insistently. I kept my head down, feeling my cheeks blush and not wanting him to see it.
I could feel how soft he was being, causing me to suddenly not want him to stop. I was so angry with him most of the time, but the second he touched me, it was the complete opposite. Like I couldn’t get enough.
He was always so distant from me that when he started showing me any sort of affection, I would crave it. I always wanted more, but he pulled away every time. I don’t know why he couldn’t just admit how he felt about me. And that’s why I was always so angry with him.
I finally looked up at him and he was staring straight back at me. He was really intently staring into my eyes, seeing a sort of fire deep inside of it that I had never seen before. A fire that he didn’t try to hide or he didn’t want to.
I think this would have to be the first time I had actually seen him looking so compelling and vulnerable at the same time. Like his barriers were finally starting to crumble.
Was it because of me that he was finally starting to soften? He’s always been so tough and strong. The strong silent type. But now he’s showing a softer side towards me.
Even when we had been intimate in the past, I had never seen this before. This vulnerability.
It was like he couldn’t help himself before, but he knew exactly what he was doing now.
I was still confused, but I think I was getting a little less confused with the look that he was giving me. With the touch of his hand. The feel of his grip behind my neck.
And I definitely couldn’t ignore how my body was reacting to him. Like it was meant to be.
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