CHAPTER 5
As my consciousness was flickering in and out I was seeing fragments of my life practically racing before my eyes. My mother was standing in front of me, her beautiful smile and then it changed to watching her die in a hospital bed of an unknown illness, a dark shadow appearing in front of me that was caused by my father, the vile and disgusting faces of those men that my father sold me to that raped me. The unrelentless faces of Madison and her friends laughing in my face with muffled laughter from everyone else at school while they publicly humiliated me and then the impassive faces of Jax and his friends in the cafeteria when Madison and Grace were attacking me.
I started groaning as I tried to open my eyes, but my vision was really blurred and I couldn't really see anything. I tried not to panic straight away, I realized that I had an oxygen mask on and there were people standing just outside my room talking, so I could only assume that I was in the hospital.
All I could see were shapes and the bright light. I could hear the humming of someone next to my bed.
Why the hell would dad bring me to the hospital?
I had gaps in my memory now. I didn’t even know what happened. It had to be from the beating from dad. It must have been worse than I thought. Right?
My head felt like it was going to split in half with the pain that I was having when I felt someone hold my hand.
“It’s alright sweetheart. You’re in the hospital. You’ve sustained a bad head injury and a concussion on top of that.” She said, patting my hand and being really comforting. “It’s lucky that the bullet only grazed your head.” She said.
Bullet? That’s right. I went to get my dad’s gun. I searched the whole house for it. I was going to kill myself.
I couldn’t even get suicide right. How pathetic can I be?
“Honey. I know that you probably don’t want to deal with this right now, but there are some detectives here that need to talk to you. You don’t have to talk to them straight away, but they want to interview you about possible abuse. When you were brought in the doctor saw extensive scars and bruises on your body.” She explained. And I started looking around frantically. My vision wasn’t getting any better and I couldn’t tell who was in my room and who wasn’t.
“I can’t see. Why can’t I see?” I asked, panicking. So she quickly grabbed a hold of my hand to try and calm me down.
“It’s alright. You’re safe here. We believe that the blindness is only temporary. It will come back.” She said, not releasing my hand.
“I can’t. I don’t want to talk to anyone. He’s going to be so mad at me. Dad is going to be so mad at me.” I said, a lot softer but I knew that the nurse had heard it.
I couldn’t go to live with anyone else. Dad would make sure that I ended up with one of his rich friends. Possibly one of the friends that he had allow to rape me. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to go. Why couldn’t I just die?
I have been fighting for so long. Only fighting for my right to live. I want to stop now. I can’t fight anymore. I wanted it to be over.
If I was sent somewhere else, dad would always find me. He would always find some way to get to me. I wasn’t safe. Not anywhere.
Suddenly I heard a distinct voice in the hallway. It was Jax and I heard a couple other voices that I didn’t recognise. But somehow I just knew that they were the other two guys that were friends with Jax.
What the hell were they doing here? I didn’t want them to see me like this. Jax made it pretty clear how he felt about me now. I was just an old friend that he didn’t have time for now. He made that clear at school.
Why would they even care enough to be here? I leaned up in my hospital bed and the nurse put a couple of pillows behind my back.
“I know that everything seems a little scary right now. But the detectives aren’t going to talk to you until you’re ready. I’ll make sure of it. Alright.” The nurse said. And I nodded my head.
I was trying to hear what was going on in the hallway, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I could just hear their voices.
“What are they doing here? Those guys?” I asked.
“They brought you in. They’re the ones that found you.” The nurse said.
What? It wasn’t dad bashing on the door? I thought dad came back to finish the job because I skipped school. I didn’t know that they were at my house.
What the hell was the deal with these guys? I really don’t know what to think about them right now.
I sat up in my bed trying to get a straight thought going through my head, but right now the pain was just too painful. I couldn’t concentrate on anything right now. Except for the throbbing pain.
“Can I get some painkillers or something?” I asked.
“Sure. I’ll be right back. Try and relax. You still have pretty serious injuries.” The nurse said. But I just sat there without saying anything.
It wasn’t the first time I had been taken to the hospital. But dad was a powerful man with powerful friends. Like doctors who would look the other way at all the marks on my body.
I wasn’t even sure what hospital I was at so I didn’t know if I should try and make a run for it or not. I didn’t know if any of his friends were here, watching me. I couldn’t see anything.
I didn’t know if they were going to try and sneak me out and take me back to him.
I was trying to be as alert as possible, but like I said, I couldn’t see anything. It was a little hard and I don’t think I have ever felt this vulnerable before.