Monday, August 12th Pt. 2

“Dr. Leroux insisted that I wasn’t a rogue.”
I explain quietly with my head down. I pick a handful of fries off the plate and take one of the two cups of ranch for dipping.
“You are a werewolf. I can smell it.” She keeps her tone low and soft but no longer shocked.
“So I’ve been told.” I pop the first of my fries into my mouth, failing miserably to keep a nonchalant attitude.
“It bothers you.” Her voice has changed to a mix of shock and sadness.
“It’s hard to explain.” I stop as the server returns with drinks and salads. “When I woke up in the hospital several months ago I was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia and dormant wolf syndrome. The doctor there felt that going through what was known about what happened and the long list of injuries that I somehow survived would reverse the amnesia. The amnesia is my brain’s way of protecting me from the trauma that I endured, not just the trauma of this epic battle but, according to him, the trauma of my entire life. He claimed that leaving me in the dark until I reached the safety of my sanctuary pack where I would receive the appropriate medical and psychological care was the best for me. That understanding what happened to me would cripple me.”
“You have no memory?”
I shake my head as I take my first bite of salad. She follows suit allowing us a moment of silence together before I’m able to speak again.
“I have memories of what I’ve done, where I’ve been, people I’ve met from the point of waking up in the hospital. I have no memories of who I am, what I’ve done, what my life before the hospital was. My decisions are largely based on instinct and what I have very quickly learned about the world as I’ve walked through it. There are as many kind and helpful people as there are cruel and hateful. While I choose kindness I’m not naive enough to trust.” I take another bite.
“Trust who, what?”
“Anything and anyone.” I state with a shrug.
“But what about me? You didn’t shove me away.”
“You asked me to play along seconds before I could feel you shake. I saw the men across the street and even though both you and them smell familiar, you were afraid while they…” I pause for another bite. “They scared me.” I use my fork to point out the window where the gang of six men used to be. “Do you know anything about them? Who they are? What they want?”
“I believe they are a bunch of ferals that grouped together around an alpha, they call themselves The Gremlins. While I can’t be certain that they were them, everything they did is the pattern that has been spoken of. Silently stalking women who are shopping alone. Waiting until after they load their bags into their car before using code words to surround them. If the woman gets away like I did, they will wait by the car for them to return. Rumor has it that they are kidnapping them, beating them until they’re submissive then selling them into the sex trade. They are wanted by both humans and werewolves but only werewolf jail will really hold them.”
“Why did you come out shopping alone if you knew about them?” I cringe as my question comes out completely wrong.
“It’s okay…” She pauses. “I’ve never asked your name.”
“In the hospital they told me I was Colton Allen Xander but Deven believes it was an alias given for entering Operation Underground.”
“I’ve heard of that. Do you prefer Colton or Cole?”
“Cole is more familiar but I respond well to both. Deven and Cassius both believe they chose a name that was similar to my own. Despite the amnesia I still have a lot of anxiety so they believe my memories of mistreatment are still there. They encouraged me to continue following my instincts despite how fearful I tend to be.”
“You don’t seem very fearful right now.”
I shake my head as I slowly pick at my food. I over ordered what I knew I would eat despite not having anything but water today and the main course hasn’t even arrived yet. I know how good this food will be reheated as long as I can find a place to store it properly.
“You’re not eating much despite how ravaged you seemed when ordering.”
“Another reason I don’t want you to pay for it. I am very hungry but it’s a struggle to sit and eat.”
“Being here has made you nervous.”
She states her observation softly as I have increased actively scanning the room and fidgeting in my seat instead of eating.
“Where are you staying tonight?”
“I usually travel at night and use the homeless shelters to sleep during the day.”
“Where are you headed?”
“I don’t know. The first doctor I was with said I had found my mate in a pack south of where I was at. He talked about operation underground and transferring me to the next pack once I was walking around better. Two nights later, after I insisted I’d be fine alone in the hospital, I got spooked by a dream and left.”
“So all you know is to head south?”
“Yes ma’am. He said it was a mid Atlantic pack but not near the shore. He mentioned a name but I think it was too soon after I woke up to fully comprehend the name of the pack.” She nods thoughtfully.
“Come home with me.” She blurts out so suddenly that I choke.
“I’m sorry.” She whispers, handing me a napkin as I continue to cough.
“Why?” I manage to sputter.
“Both selfish and unselfish reasons at the same time. My immediate concern is getting to my car without getting kidnapped. I don’t know where those Gremlins went but I’m also heading south. Two hours by car will get you a lot further than on foot.”
As tempting as it is I shake my head.
“Why not?” It sounds like she’s on the verge of tears.
“I will take you to your car but I won’t go home with you.” I finally manage to speak.
“I still don’t understand.”
“You don’t know me. I could be just as evil and deprived as those you ran from.”
“But you’re not. If you had evil intentions I would have been able to sense it.”
“Missy, I don’t know who I am. I struggle daily with just the idea that I’m a werewolf. I have limited knowledge on how packs work and I just admitted to you that I’m a rogue. Even though Deven insisted that I was a stray, the council and most packs don’t recognize that term.”
“Please give it a chance. My twin brother and I live on the edge of the Purple Mountain pack. While I ordinarily wouldn’t want a mistreated individual like you staying at Purple Mountain, staying with us will give you a break. My brother is the pack doctor and we help strays find their way into Operation Underground. There will be some rules you have to follow to keep out of Alpha Draven’s way but with our house being just outside his borders we have a bit more freedom than most members.”
I take a deep breath.
“Please, Colton. Two hours by car is over one hundred miles south once we’re on the highway. Stay a night or two so we can try to figure out where you belong.”
She’s begging me to join her despite my sincere reservations towards it. I sigh hard as the server stops by the table again.
“Okay.” I nod. “Can you box the rest and a drink to go?”
“Are you sure? The rest of your food should be up any minute.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t have a good explanation but I can’t stay much longer.”
“Is this one check or two?”
“One.” Missy jumps in.
“Is everything ok? You’re both looking very nervous.”
“I’m sorry.” I state again. “I have PTSD which has resulted in severe anxiety. I get nervous very easily in new places. Although I’ve been to this restaurant in another city, just being in a new city is difficult for me. I’ve just realized how close to evening we are and I don’t know where she’s parked.”
I close my eyes as I look away. For reasons I don’t understand, I’m suddenly falling apart.
“Cole?” Missy tries to reach me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s just the demon that ptsd is. It doesn’t help that we just met but I am familiar with the disorder. It would be best if we start wrapping up to leave.”
“Yes ma’am. I’ll get everything packed up to go.”