Tuesday, December 31st Pt. 8
“I’m concerned about you Andre.” Julius now has my attention only he has crouched down to my level. “While your statement seems to have helped Hayden it gave me the clue I was looking for.”
“A clue to what?”
“The true reason behind the terror you have in gaining custody of your kids. While any other wolf in this pack saying such a thing would be passed off as simply being very serious about their statement, you stating that you nearly died once to fight for them is something I take very seriously. What happened the last time they were taken from you?”
I shake my head hard, holding my breath as I fight against the flashbacks trying to invade my thoughts.
“Andre?” He tries again but all I can do is shake my head slowly.
“Papa Redmen hit him. He made him bleed.”
The innocent voice of my daughter breaks through.
“You saw it?” Abe seems shocked that it would be done in front of her. I watch as she nods her head.
“Mommy spanked me for crying.” She whines hard before laying against his neck.
“You knew this was happening next door?”
It seems I’m not the only one struggling.
“We all knew this was happening at the Red Fang pack. What we don’t know is how many of the wolves within their walls are victims in need of help.”
Julius explains cutting Abe off from further questions.
“What happened, Andre? I need you to talk.”
I shake my head repeatedly with my eyes closed and my face tucked into my son just as he’s tucked into me.
“Andre, please. I need to know what happened so we can make certain all of you have the support you need.”
“I can’t.” I whisper through a whine.
“Why?” Julius whispers back.
“I lied. To you and Kiara, I lied.”
My voice quivers as I completely lose it. My entire body shakes with my admittance and I physically struggle to breathe making me wonder how Cole handles both a panic attack and asthma attack at the same time.
“I need you to open your eyes and look at me.”
Julius instructs but I’m struggling to separate him from dad. Only he’s not my dad which confuses me even more. I whine as I shake my head, placing my hand on Hayden’s head as he starts to squirm and whine as well. I lean my face against his, whispering in his ear.
“Stay with me, Hayden. I need you as much as you need me.”
I feel the stiff fiberglass splint beneath the ace bandage as he attempts to put his right hand to my face, only the tips of his fingers can be felt against the scruff of the beard I’ve just started growing.
“Andre, open your eyes and look at me.”
Somehow I manage to do as he’s asking. “I am not Charles.”
I whine hard as I try to look away.
“Come back, Andre.”
I’m panting hard through my mouth but again, somehow manage. He waits until I have eye contact with him to try again.
“I am not Charles.” I try to look away but I’m stopped by his hands, positioned on each side of my head without touching me.
“Say it. I am not Charles.”
“You are not Charles.” I whisper. “You are not Charles.”
I slowly start into the mantra while his hands slowly move towards me. His touch is soothing as I struggle to reign myself in.
“I need you to talk. Let’s start with this lie that has made you so very afraid of me.”
I look back at Julius as he makes his request known.
“I have tried very hard to teach you that I don’t use physical punishment here. I know your lack of involvement with my pack has hurt your ability to believe that but I need you to believe in me.”
He has slowly brought his hands closer to my face but has only placed one upon my cheek. He uses his thumb to stroke my temple as I lean into him.
“When I brought Kiara home at the beginning of November, there were several times that I received a call that I excused myself from both of you, seeking privacy for the conversation.”
“I remember that. They increased quite a bit by the time Thanksgiving came around.”
“I wanted to ask permission to bring them here but…” I stall as I struggle to find the correct words to convey how I feel.
“Try to relax. I do understand how difficult it must be to have been so brutally punished for something as natural as having sex. Statistically speaking, seventy-five percent of wolves have had multiple sexual partners before they settle down into a mated bond and it’s an even split for those who have pups before that bond is made. You have been forced to be ashamed of having what’s rightfully yours.”
“The punishment wasn’t for having sex. Charles encouraged me to have sex. So much as told me he would approve of me raping anyone who didn’t want to have it with me. I was punished for getting them pregnant.” Julius nods sympathetically.
“I’m sorry.” I apologize as my tone wasn’t the best for such an innocent misunderstanding.
“You don’t need to explain why you kept your phone conversations private but they were about your kids?”
He gets back to the true subject at hand.
“Yes sir. I can’t remember right now who alerted social services to their injuries. Normally it’s been when they’ve had a check up at the doctor but it was someone else.”
“An anonymous report perhaps.”
“I’m not sure.” I shake my head. “Social services looked into the complaint and found them in bad enough shape that they did an immediate emergency removal. That was the first call I took. They wanted to bring the kids to me here when I accidentally mentioned that I was here but I was convinced that having them was against the law and I didn’t know how to break such a thing to you and Kiara. I ended up agreeing to have them placed in a foster home in the White Moon pack until I got back. The several phone calls were a mix of speaking to social services and the foster parents that took them in. I left after Thanksgiving.
The next day the social worker brought them to the pack house. After three weeks in foster care they were in better shape than I was expecting. I asked Charles for weeks to take them out of the territory for Christmas. As frightened as I was of your rejection my father’s reaction to me having them again was just as bad as them being with their mom and Marcus. He kept stalling an answer until he finally told me that taking them out of the territory would equate to kidnapping so I dropped the subject.
I wanted to involve you just like you were helping me with Cole but every time I picked up the phone all I could see was the punishments I’ve already received. Again, the court date was moved up and he scheduled a bunch of meetings outside the pack for me to attend. This time I didn’t go. I showed up in his office in a suit. He was livid and after a series of questions he fully understood that I wasn’t backing down so he gave me a choice, forfeit my kids or take a thirty split on my backside. I dropped my pants and laid across his desk.”
“Thirty split, what does that mean?” Dr. Stewart asks from the crowd.
“Half with the strap, half with the buckle.” I manage to whisper.
“It was difficult to sit through court and the judge asked several times if I was okay. I lied so he would keep going but I knew by the way he spoke that it was rigged. I didn’t have a lawyer as the pack’s money has not been released to me so I was fighting on my own. I begged him to reconsider based on it being their third time taken away. I told him about the kind and caring foster family in the White Moon pack and how they would love to adopt them. I even desperately tried explaining that I had found my second chance mate and that I would relinquish my coronation as heir to the pack and leave Red Fang to my mate’s pack. Anything would be better than returning to Heather and her fated mate. But it was set in stone. They were returned.”
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