Saturday, December 21st Pt. 4
I’m fully into this as I feel her hand wrap around the most sensitive aspect of my body. I can vaguely tell that she’s trying to slide herself onto my shaft but there’s something wrong. Deep within me my panic invades me. I hold my breath as her body effortlessly glides down onto me. She responds to the stretching of her body with a quiet yelp before she groans from the mixing of pain and pleasure. She stays completely still, lying her forehead against my shoulder as she forces her body to adjust to the intrusion, kissing my neck lightly. What feels like forever is really only seconds before she realizes the dramatic change.
“Cole, breathe.”
She whispers in my ear before nipping it just enough for me to gasp. I’m in a complete panic with no idea why. How can my mate, who’s been raped, handle this better than me? I’m panting hard as the panic consumes me, a deep wheeze following just seconds behind.
“What happened to you?”
Her voice is hushed but incredibly concerned as I shake my head. I truly don’t know.
“Is it hurting you?” I shake my head again as, oddly, I can barely feel my penis inside of her.
“I was hoping that the warm water would be relaxing. You were enjoying it as much as I was. I don’t understand.”
I can hear the disappointment in her voice as she slides off of me. Despite the increasing panic I’m present enough that I grab her hand, guiding her back to my lap, I silently encourage her to sit sideways. My cock is now completely deflated, tucked up inside me as if it was a dog hiding from its cruel owners. I understand the showers versus growers concept but at this moment I can’t help but feel as if it is as ashamed of my reaction as I am.
“Please don’t leave.”
I barely pant as I struggle to reign in such a harsh reaction. She places her hands on my cheeks, holding me still as she places gentle kisses on my lips.
“I have one of your inhalers. Let me go get it. I promise this isn’t done unless you need it to be.”
I can tell by her voice that her pain is growing making me feel even worse than before. She steps out of the tub, grabs a robe off a nearby hook and heads into the next room. I listen as she rummages through what sounds to be a drawer before coming back. I’m surprised it didn’t take long at all. She enters the tub and returns to straddling my legs. This time I find myself using my feet to attempt to push out from under her but find I do nothing but slip. I’ve closed my eyes again as the panic surges through me. The sound of Jessa shaking the inhaler is close to my ears.
“You can keep your eyes closed as I know you’re trying to gain control. You know what this is.” I nod.
“When you’re ready, open your mouth. I’ll place it and hold it but you need to grab it too.”
I nod again as my chest tightens even more. She places her hand on the side of my head as I open my mouth, waiting for her to help me. The medication only takes a few seconds to receive and I instantly know that it’s the stronger of the two medications that I have. It only takes a minute for the tightness in my chest to ease and my desire to pant slows. She waits silently, straddling my lap, until I recover enough to open my eyes.
“Something happened to you.” I shake my head.
“I don’t know.” I whisper.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She whispers with her forehead against mine. “Please, explore. I want you. I need you. Maybe you need to control it. I trust you.”
She trails her kisses from the ear she’s whispering in slowly back to my mouth. As much as her position unnerves me I still try. I return to my previous exploration. As comfortable as I’ve become over the last month with caressing her chest, this time has me shaking like my first. I swallow hard as her lips connect with mine. I run my left hand down her body, brushing gently against her bushy mound. My breathing stops as her body draws back.
“It’s okay.” She whispers before kissing behind my ear.
I start a gentle caressing against her southern hairline. She flinches each time I touch but it’s easy to tell that patience is important as her reaction to my touch slowly calms. I open my legs slowly forcing her to spread hers further apart until she’s lifted herself slightly off my lap.
She’s vigorously kissing my neck while simultaneously pushing her pussy into my open hand. I place my palm against her hair as I use my fingers to tease even lower. She stops for short moments as I slowly feel my way around. I can tell that she wants it but relinquishing control seems to be her undoing. She freezes completely as my middle finger slips between her plump folds. Her breathing is in short pants.
“I need you inside me.”
I’m caught off guard by the nervousness in her voice yet it’s easy to feel her movements. She is trying quite hard to slide my finger even further.
“Lay against me.” I encourage her.
I lift my palm so her body guides along my hand. My middle finger is bent, sliding the length of her folds until I hit where she wants me to be. I trace her entrance slowly, gauging her reaction before slowly advancing my finger inside. It doesn’t matter that my hardened member was just inside her. The change in control has changed the game and her nervousness has created challenges. She whimpers and pulls away as if my hardness had never been inside her. I’m genuinely shocked at how easily she previously fit me in.
“It would be better if we lay together.”
I suggest as I move my hand from under her. I guide her slowly back to my lap, pulling her gently against my chest. I can feel the disappointment and frustration as she harshly rubs her abdomen.
“Let me try. Lay against my shoulder.”
She submits to my request easily, it seems her increasing pain leaves her no choice.
“Hands off your belly, baby. I need to touch it.”
I easily understand the rapid escalation of her pain as I gently grab each wrist but she fights my attempts to pull them away from her. She has become increasingly frantic as time has gone by causing me great concern for her well being.
“Follow my movements. I promise I can help you.”
I speak softly as she whimpers against my neck. She finally relents to me placing her hands on my shoulders. Making herself more comfortable by wrapping her arms around me and placing her hands in my hair. I pause for a moment, uncertain if she’s going to fist the lengthy locks. I place my right hand on her stomach with the left on the small of her back.
“I promise this will help.”
I reassure her as she whimpers from the pressure. She squirms in my hold as I find a large knot in her abdomen.
“Breathe baby. Real deep in, real slow out. Find yourself a pattern. I’m going to slowly increase the pressure.”
“Please Cole, it hurts.” She pleas as she breaks down into sobs.
Again, there’s something about her predicament that is insanely familiar but I’m still at complete odds as to why. I wait until she calms with a predictable breathing pattern against my neck before I take her a step further. Her breathing stops as I increase pressure on the knot.
“Breathe, Jess.”
We continue the pattern until she’s at her maximum tolerance. It’s taking everything she has not to fight me as I patiently wait for the spasms to release. Her scream is torture as it finally releases its wretched hold upon my mate. Her body goes limp as all of her energy has been completely spent but something tells me this isn’t the end of it.