Friday, October 18th Pt. 24
“He’s stopped talking but what I see isn’t stopping. He’s whining that he’s sorry. That this is the reason he doesn’t share his memories, our memories with me.”
His entire body shakes as his panic and fear rises.
“Noooo!!!”
He yells as he leaves his seat. The hallucination is strong enough that he attempts to run from whatever happened in his past.
“What’s happening? What do you see, Cole?”
I speak firmly without anger in the hopes of reaching him as I stop his ability to run.
“Help me!!!!”
He screams as he fights my hold. It only takes a few minutes before he relents and collapses into me. I hold him gently as he whimpers.
“What’s going on, Cole?” I ask as I rub his head.
“It hurts. I don’t want this.” He whispers after a long pause.
“It’s hard to remember what happened but it’s also important. I don’t normally encourage this but I need to know what’s happening.” I explain as I continue my gentle rub on his head.
“It hurts, I’m hurt.” He starts off slowly.
“What’s hurting you?” I encourage him.
“My face, my head, my chest.” He pants heavily.
“I can’t see. My eyes. They won’t open. I’m naked and cold. On a bed but I can’t move. I’m chained. There’s three voices. Two females. I don’t know who they are or what they’re saying. Kristoph is there. On top of me. Noooo!!!”
He yells as his fight to get out of my hold starts over.
“I don’t want them! Let me go! Help me!!!”
He screams as he breaks loose from me. I maintain a slight hold on his hand causing him to stumble but allowing me to slow him as he falls.
“What’s happening? What don’t you want?” I ask firmly as his flashback intensifies.
“Shots. Viagra. Silver. They hurt. Get off of me!”
Even on the floor he’s fighting with everything he has. Having been a doctor I know exactly what that combination of drugs will do to him but I’m lost as to how Charles or Kristoph would have the same information. The council was very tight lipped on the effects for this very reason.
Despite his flailing arms blindly clawing at the hardwood floor he lays upon, he’s incapable of moving his body out from under me. The same weakness I saw for several minutes in the training annex has returned. I take advantage of his inability to flee me and wrap myself around him.
“It’s time to back out Cole. I promise it’s not happening again. Put everything you have into concentrating on me. I will help you. Seek my scent and aura. They will guide you back.”
My voice is loud enough to reach him but also encouraging as he desperately needs something to focus on. It takes him a minute to slow down and show me that he’s seeking me. His body shakes with fear and anxiety in addition to his crying. I wrap my arms around his chest lifting him slightly off the floor.
“Alpha, please. It hurts.”
I hear him whisper. I lower him back to the ground, allowing my body to move over top of his.
“Please don’t leave me.”
He whimpers as he grabs my hands as I attempt to remove one from under him. I lean my head against his directly over his ear.
“I’m not leaving you. I’m trying to help you get comfortable. What did I hurt when I lifted you?” I whisper gently.
“My back. I can feel my legs move but….”
He stops as he continues to struggle moving his legs beneath me.
“Is it hurting you to move your legs or just a struggle?”
“Both.” He whimpers.
“I promise I’m not leaving you but I don’t think being on top of you is comforting if you’re back has started to spasm. Be still.”
I try to encourage his cooperation while also soothing the anxiety I know he has. I wait until he’s still before cautiously moving from around him. As promised I don’t leave him. Instead I lay on the floor beside him as Cassius helps him lay his head on a soft throw pillow from the couch.
“Thank you.”
I address him quietly as he hands me one as well. I lay on my side giving me one free hand to run through his hair.
“Do you know what’s going on? Why he’s suddenly so weak?”
Deven crouches down beside Cole, rubbing slowly between his shoulders. He whimpers again as he moves.
“Am I hurting you?” Deven is alarmed when Cole had managed to calm himself before he got involved.
“I’m scared. I have no control and it hurts.”
We stop our gentle rubs simultaneously and look at each other.
“Cole, this is a difficult question but it’s important that you are honest with us.” I wait until I see Cole nod his head.
“Are you afraid that one of us will take advantage of your weakness?” I ask slowly.
“I’m always afraid that I’ve done wrong. Even when I wasn’t it was still in the background. There’s three of you now.” He yelps as he attempts to curl into a ball.
“No Cole.” I stop him gently with Deven’s help. “Be still, son. You didn’t share with me about your back but this isn’t the first time this has happened. No one is going to hurt you.”
I attempt to calm him. He yelps loudly before starting into heavy pants as I resume my petting of his head.
“It’s okay, Cole. Concentrate on me. It’s important to slow everything down.”
“You said you’ve seen this happen before?” Cassius asks quietly.
“Once. It was common for him to go into panic attacks while he was with me. Once I got him healed enough to not need the hospital I wanted an alternative to Ativan so I engaged him in a mild sparring match. His back was tight when we started and he dropped into hard submission when it was done. The jarring of the drop caused his back to spasm which resulted in intense pain and weakness severe enough that he couldn’t stand back up for several minutes.”
“Have you seen his back?” Deven continues the conversation.
“Yes sir. Angela and I found it the first day he was in the wing.”
“Found what?” Sheila asks from the stairs.
“The scar.” He whimpers quietly.
“What scar?”
Apparently she doesn’t know about what Cassius and Deven found. To my fortune they address her instead of waiting for me.
“The first time he was here, when we took him to University to help him with his injuries, we found a large scar that covers nearly half his back. I did a horizontal sensory test on him when we got him back to Deven’s place. His reaction allowed Dev to conclude that permanent injury was likely but I refused to consider any additional testing.”
“They wanted to do more tests?” She sounds shocked.
“Very much, dear. After Cass refused to consider taking him back to the hospital Aaron called me. He tried to convince me that the only way to get him sanctuary status was to show all the damage he had. MRI’s of his head, neck, shoulders and arms had already revealed substantial scarring on his bones but with consideration towards how sedated he has to be for us to even get him there I agreed with Cassius. He came to us with enough damage to get him sanctuary status with the council.”
“Alpha, I need help but I think I can get up now.” Cole states nervously.
“Just let me know what you need me to do. I think a good night's rest with your mate will do you a lot of good.”
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