Monday, May 13th Pt. 8
“Are you okay, Carol?” I ask the nurse, uncertain how far his flailing had reached.
“I’m fine sir. I’m going to get this to the lab for processing. Once he’s calm you can try to get him up and walking. Do you have any clothing for him?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“I think you should be able to get him dressed and I’ll start on getting discharge papers put together.”
“Yes please.” He whimpers from beneath me.
“I’m sorry that’s what you woke up to. You have a lot of blood in your urine which usually means you have a severe infection. Catheterization is usually a little uncomfortable but not painful. Not the level that you felt. You did very well. I’ll return in an hour to check on the medication on the feeder. Hopefully we can start the discharge process and get you out of here then.”
“Yes ma’am. Thank you.” I finish up the conversation.
“Are you ready for me to leave you?” I turn my attention back to him.
“Yes sir. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I try to reassure him as I slowly climb from around him. As soon as I’m on the floor he starts struggling to turn himself.
“Take it easy, Colton. Let me help you.” I place my hand on his shoulder.
“What are you trying to do?”
“I would like to sit up a little. I’m still sleepy but I feel like I need to pee again.”
“Do you think you can go without leaving the bed?” He nods.
“I think so. It’s going to hurt.”
“Why didn’t you say something last night?” I cut my sentence off early as I feel explaining we could have done the urine sample differently may hurt him.
“The other one asked when I whimpered in the bathroom.” He starts explaining as he rolls himself to his back. “I didn’t think too much about it. I thought I was just dehydrated. I haven’t had the urge to go much until I had that tea last night.” He finishes.
“Now that you’re on your back, I’m going to raise the head of the bed. I’m also going to call the nurse.”
“Please don’t bring her back.” His panic is real as I’m certain waking so painfully has made an impact.
“She’s not going to do anything.” I attempt to reassure him as I hit the intercom button on the side of the bed.
“How may I help you?” A different voice comes over the intercom.
“Can we get something for Colton to drink and a way for him to use the bathroom without walking to the bathroom? He has an antibiotic on the feeder for the next hour.”
“Yes sir. What would he like?”
“Have you ever had cranberry juice?” I ask him as I know it helps with uti’s.
“I’m not certain.” I give him a nod.
“Can you get sealed bottles of water and cranberry juice?”
“Yes sir.”
“Thank you.” She turns off the intercom. A soft knock on the door alerts me to another coming in.
“I thought I’d bring this before contacting the kitchen for drinks. Are you certain you don’t want something to eat?” She finishes her sentence looking at Colton. He opens his mouth just to close it silently several times. He finally just shakes his head.
“It’s okay to tell us.” I encourage.
“I can’t explain it but it needs to be sealed. Food from the kitchen isn’t sealed.”
His voice is frustrated with a slight whine. I’m certain it comes from the restrictions he’s imposed on himself. She simply nods her head and puts her hand on my shoulder as she hands me a container.
“I’ll go downstairs and see what we have.” She leaves the room before I can thank her.
“Do you think you can manage to use this?” I hand him the container.
“Yes sir.” His voice is finally relaxed as he lays his head back and closes his eyes.
“Are you okay if I make a phone call? I need to get us a ride but I don’t want to leave you by yourself.”
“You’re the alpha.”
“Yes.” I’m confused by his statement.
“Alpha’s do what they please.”
“No sir.” I’m appalled by the very idea. “Alphas lead by example. I follow every rule, every law that I expect my pack to follow. Asking about the phone call is simply common courtesy.”
He’s cocked his to one side as if my explanation is a foreign language. I take a seat on the side of his bed.
“It doesn’t feel natural to you, does it?”
“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, turning so he’s no longer looking at me.
“It’s okay. We’re learning about each other and the more I learn about how you think the better picture I have of where you came from.”
“Where do you think I came from?” I’m astonished at how ashamed he sounds.
“I don’t think you’re ready to know the full extent of what I think.” I respond quietly, placing my hand beneath the flexing fingers of his left arm. He brushes his fingers against my palm several times before he looks back at me.
“Does it hurt to move your fingers?”
He studies me closely as if he’s looking for a specific reaction. It’s as if he’s judging his ability to trust me with a secret he wants no one to know.
“Colton.” His hesitation is making me nervous.
“I can tolerate it.”
“I can get you something for the pain.”
“No sir. I need it.” His voice is again ashamed and nearly imperceptible as I stare at his face. His head has dropped and his eyes have closed.
“Need it Colton?” I manage to repeat. He nods his head once before laying back, slowly stopping his movements until his fingers simply rest against my palm.
“May I stay here with you while I make my call?”
“Please don’t leave me alone.” He whispers.
“Hey.” I lean over and touch the side of his head. I’m surprised when he leans into me. “Everything is okay.” I try to reassure him.
“I’m sorry alpha. I don’t understand why but I’m scared. So very, very scared. I want you, need you. Please.”
I stand from the bed to move myself closer to him but end up triggering his fight or flight response. He grabs my arm as he screams for me to stay. I do the only thing I can think of and gather him into my arms. His initial reaction is to fight but he instinctively knows what he needs and caves into those instincts instantly. I remain silent as he calms almost as quickly as he went wild. His whimpers are low but persistent as I work out what he needs. I keep one arm across his shoulder while I use the other to rub the back of his head. I sit with him for several minutes until he’s ready to leave me.
“Is this because Deven isn’t here?” I can't help but wonder out loud.
“He promised not to leave me alone.” He shutters through.
“You weren’t alone. I stayed the entire time. Deven got a link from Sheila. Cody had an accident at school bad enough that he had to leave.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t……”
“No, Colton. There’s no sorry, no guilt. You relied upon our promise to stay as safety and felt betrayed when you woke to only one of us. It’s okay. I promise, things will get better. It will take time but you will come to know the entire pack as being a safe and loving place to be.”
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