Friday, October 18th Pt. 13

“Jessa found you. Talked to alpha before I lost battle.”
“You didn’t make her sick on purpose? I thought for certain that this was a cry for help. You just can’t hold back the silver anymore.”
“Tell master I sorry I failed.”
“No ma’am. I won’t tell her that.”
“Please. You must.”
“No ma’am. You must understand that you didn’t fail her. You have held onto this silver for far too long. Now that she’s in the safety of Alpha Demetri it’s time to let go. You’ve kept it hidden away, allowed it to weaken you in an effort to keep her safe. You just said your alpha is strict but fair. That he doesn’t allow abuse to occur. Do you not feel safe with him? With the decisions that he has made regarding your care?”
I want to get to the bottom of her thinking before I leave her as she’s a critical part of healing Jessa.
“I don’t know him well. Too sick to surface.”
“But you trust Jessa and Jessa obviously trusts him.”
“Yes she does.” She admits softly.
“Now is the time my dear. You are safe. Neither of you will be harmed while she is weakened from going through detox. It is important for you to understand that this is a three stage process. For empaths it’s important not to rush detox as I’m certain she has been exposed to enough silver to kill thirty wolves.”
“Let medication work.” She sighs.
“Are you okay with that? This medication is going to take thirty percent of every different toxin you’ve been exposed to and dump it into her blood so we can find it. I will come to Crimson Dawn two more times to complete the detoxification process. The second time will be just like this time and the third will take care of the rest.”
“Not goodbye?”
“No ma’am. We will see each other again.”
I pet her head gently, convinced that she’s as ready as she will ever be to allow me to help. It’s only when she reaches a peaceful snooze that stand and leave. Giving her the safety of privacy is the best thing for her.
I make my exit slowly as moving too quickly results in unpleasant side effects for both of us. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as I decompress from the initial shock of such a hard read.
“Is everything okay, Dev?” Cassius asks.
take a moment to pet her head before I answer.
“It’s better than what I anticipated but things are going to move faster than planned.”
I stay with her a bit longer.
“Your wolf has as much will to live as you. I incorrectly guessed that you were so sick due to her being so close to dying.”
“Then why do I feel so sick if it’s not because she’s dying?” She asks sleepily.
“In an effort to stay alive she started releasing silver into your blood before you ever got here. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell me how long she’s been releasing it, she simply asked me to apologize for her failure.”
“For failing what?”
“For failing to protect you. Every time you were exposed to silver, when you went through withdrawal, you didn’t filter the silver out. Where standard wolves can safely filter and remove silver with up to fifty percent purity from their bodies without help, empaths are not capable of removing it without specialized medication.”
“How did I get rid of it?”
“You didn’t. While I’m concerned that, like Cole, you never merged with your wolf, the disassociation between the two of you may have saved your life.”
“How does that happen? What prevents wolves from merging?” Cole speaks for the first time in a while.
“When something traumatic happens before or around the time of your first shift that creates a long term injury or disability it prevents you from shifting regularly. The first shift happens between fifteen and six months old to the end of your nineteenth year with the majority happening between fifteen and seventeen. Every pack is mandated by the council to participate in the new shifter’s ceremony. How often they do it is up to them. Small packs without a lot of money will often combine with other small packs and have the ceremony once a year. Some of the largest packs with high birth rates will set a schedule of having one every two to six months.
After the ceremony is completed the new shifter will attend a specialty school for werewolves, if they were attending a mixed population school and will start warrior training. Both are mandated by the council because you must shift a minimum of once a month until you hit twenty-one to obtain the proper control over your wolf. If you only shift once a year for five years then you will not merge. If you don’t shift at all before your twentieth birthday then the council will mandate tests to confirm that you are wolfless.
You and Jessa both have your wolf. With Jessa, my best guess is that her first poisoning with silver occurred in her late teens preventing her from shifting regularly if at all. With you, well, without your memories it’s difficult to know exactly what happened but I would bet money that it has to do with physical trauma, a catastrophic injury that occurred. Again, I would guess that it happened during your teenage years.”
“Would being whipped do it?”
He whispers but we all hear it. I cock my head, curious about his thinking.
“Is that something coming from Buddy?”
He shakes his head but otherwise remains silent. I decide to let it go despite Cassius’s encouragement through the link to get him talking about it.
“Can I lay down?” Jessa speaks slowly.
“Yes. You are relatively pain free right now so separating you from Cole for a few hours would do him some good. He’s refused to eat all day and he needs to get that bowl of soup down and hopefully a protein shake before he goes to bed.”
I speak firmly but without looking directly at him lowering the threat level he may feel from my chastising him. He whines briefly, tightening his hold around Jessa as she tries to move.
“Cole, she will be staying in your room, in your bed.”
“It’s not proper to sleep together.” He whispers through his whine.
“With your level of chastity I understand that this makes you nervous but you are a protector. Cassius, Demetri and I all firmly believe that you are. She is your mate. You’re allowed to be attracted to her. You’re allowed to have the desires that you have been brainwashed to believe are wrong. It’s okay to want her close.”
I place my hand on the side of his head encouraging him to make eye contact with me.
“Let her go, Cole. She would like to lay down and I need her to get changed so I can place the monitoring equipment on her. The medication I gave her will start pulling the silver from her wolf into her in the early morning. You will feel it if you’re touching her, holding her when it starts. Unfortunately, she will experience pain until I know what the purity of the silver is.”
He slowly relinquishes his hold but I can feel how fearful he is with the idea. I know it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to eat anything.
“Cole, I’d like you to follow us to your room so you can grab your Zofran. I’m feeling a lot of fear and anxiety which tends to twist your stomach up. You haven’t eaten all day which will exaggerate the cramps so you need at least a protein shake. Cole.”
I speak his name a little more firmly than my request as he shakes his head.
“I can’t be in there with her naked.”
His anxiety is clear in his voice as caring for her will challenge everything that he was brainwashed to believe.
“Cole, you need to follow us back to your room. I understand the challenge that this will be for you but it’s an important step towards normalcy. She is your mate. She wants to be with you and while the way she’s been treated will be something you need to work through I promise you, she wants your help getting through this.”
With fear in his eyes he finally gives me the nod I’m looking for. She slowly moves her body until she’s able to stand. She sways dramatically, pausing as she tries to maintain her balance. I extend my arms, holding them out to the sides of her. She grabs both my hands quickly, squeezing them as she closes her eyes and attempts to get into a deep breathing pattern.
“Jessa, I’m going to step towards you. I would like to create better support for you. It appears that you’re having a bit more pain than what I detected during my read.”
“It’s a lot less than when I got here. I should be able to lay down and sleep for a few hours without Cole. I just didn’t anticipate it flaring like it just did.”
She speaks quietly but truthfully.
“Loosen your grip.” I request as I step forward closing the gap between us as she sways.
She whimpers softly as I close my arms around her.
“Jessa?” Cole slowly starts to stand.
“I’m okay.” She tries to reassure him.
“No, you’re afraid.”
All she manages is a nod as he comes up behind her. He takes a deep breath, sighing as he lets it out. His arms have a visible tremor as he slides his hands down her forearms, stepping forward slowly until her back rests against his chest. I smile as I step back, allowing Jessa to feel the aura many wolves don’t get to feel unless their pack is at war, the peaceful comfort of protection. Every wolf recognizes the feelings the protection aura gives even if they don’t know where it’s coming from and Jessa is no different. Her breathing relaxes within his hold giving her the break she needs to pursue what she needs. While sleeping is a simple need she seems to have a vague understanding of what is to come. Despite his nervousness and arguments against it, he slowly helps her turn and supports her walk to his room with Demetri and I falling into step shortly after.