Friday, December 20th Pt. 4
Heading back to my room is a lot harder than joining Deven in his office. It’s a struggle to focus on the present which has led to me tripping several times, this last time has me picking myself up off the floor.
“This has you very shaken up. Are you certain you don’t need to sit and talk with us a little longer?”
Deven asks as he helps me to stand. I look around me quickly. We are only halfway between Cassius’s office and my room but Cassius has disappeared. The confusion must be written on my face as Deven hasn’t let go of my hands.
“He’s gone to your room. He’s looking for your crutches.”
“No, she’s in there.” I nearly yell as I struggle to escape his grasp.
“Cole, it’s okay.”
He tries to calm me but I can do nothing but fight harder as his grip increases on my hands. I finally break free only to lose my balance with the first step I take. To my fortune Deven is still in front of me and catches me before I hit.
“Focus, Cole. Grab a hold of me, get your balance. Now breathe.”
He’s remaining calm despite my refusal to tell him what’s going on. I whimper softly on his shoulder as I struggle to reign myself in. I’m no good to Jessa in this state.
“You’re having a really hard time being here with your mate being in heat.” Cassius comments as he approaches.
“I’m sorry.”
Is all I can manage as I slowly pull myself away from Deven and look at Cassius. I look down quickly as just looking at someone’s face is anxiety provoking, yet another of over a dozen behaviors they’re trying to help me overcome. In his hands are the crutches I left in my room.
“You’re struggling to focus which we have learned is a sign that you’re fighting to stay in the present. It also usually means that the flashback you’re avoiding is very traumatic. While we won’t force you to talk about it, that is the best way to process what has happened to you.”
Cassius encourages gently as I let go of Deven one hand at a time to place them in my crutches.
“She was starting to stir when I left the room.” Cassius speaks once I’ve gotten myself situated.
“She’s in a lot of pain, Dev. Do you stock the hormone blocking medication that will reduce that? Being here is going to lead to a mental health crisis for Cole but she’s not well enough to travel.”
I can’t help but cock my head as I never mentioned the idea of leaving. He gives me a smile.
“You are a protector. Even if the council isn’t willing to recognize it yet Deven, Demetri and I all recognize that you are. Combine that with your weakened state and your fated mate is in heat without being marked and it’s enough to cause any wolf to go insane. The best thing for the two of you is to head home ten days early. It’s not that big of a deal as long as we can get Jessa well enough to travel.”
I nod my head, grateful for his honest assessment of the situation. They allow me to start towards my room ahead of them. My progress has been slowed by the use of my crutches but at least I don’t have to think quite as hard about the way that I’m walking. I make it to my room first, surprised to see that Cassius shut the door knowing we were headed to it. I lean on one crutch as I reach out and turn the knob allowing the door to swing open on its own. I enter the room slowly as she whimpers in pain. It’s easy to tell by her face that she’s concentrating hard on deep breathing but it seems to do little to help her through the pain. As I make my way to the other side of our bed I can make out more of how she’s positioned. She’s curled her legs towards her chest but you can see that her hands are pressing hard into her abdomen. Her entire body shakes from the pain.
“Why are they here? No one can be trusted. They are going to hurt me.”
She barely makes her way through the words. I wince with her words as she expressed that concern earlier but I acted on what I know she needs. It still doesn’t keep it from cutting me deep.
“It’s okay to be afraid Jessa.” Deven speaks first as Cassius quietly closes and locks the door. “Cole asked for my help as this is proving very painful and I may have medication that will help.”
He explains patiently, slowing his walk towards her to a snail’s pace.
“I need you to allow me to touch your abdomen. Your pain is making it difficult for you to make rational decisions and you already know that I can take some of that pain from you.”
“Don’t touch me!” She screams as he kneels on the floor in front of her.
“Give me your hands” I whisper as I scoot my body over to her.
Somehow I manage to get my arms around her, pulling her slightly towards me so she lays at an angle instead of her side. Her screams of pain from moving her sends me into a panic. It takes several minutes before I can recover and become aware of the situation I’m in.
“It’s okay, Jess. I promise that’s the worst of it.” Deven’s voice is the first that I hear as I come to my senses.
“I’m sorry. So sorry that hurt you.” I whimper as I realize the position the two of us are in.
Her back is against me with her hands held tightly against her chest by me. It takes several more minutes before I can bring myself to open my eyes. Deven is the first one I see. His hand is under her shirt placed solidly upon her abdomen. His other hand is placed on top of her head, rubbing her temple gently.
“Once you relax Cassius will be able to let your legs go. I promise nothing more will happen to you.”
His voice is gentle and patient as she pants heavily with an open mouth.
“What happened?” I finally manage to speak.
“You blacked out when she screamed. I’m sorry we didn’t take the time to talk before putting our hands on her but this was the best scenario for the pain she is in.”
I adjust myself so I can better reach her ear.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
My voice shakes with more nervousness than I would like it to.
“I’m scared.” She states simply.
“I was hoping you would be able to tell and relax with it, but I’ve changed my position on your legs. You can move freely. I can understand being afraid but it’s important for you to realize that I have my fated mate and so does Deven. We are both fully claimed and marked. While the pheromones from your heat are stronger than any female I’ve been around I promise you, I have no attraction to you. We just want to help.”
I can feel her shifting, trying to get comfortable but only ends up whimpering.
“Push down. Please.” She cries out as her cramping seems to intensify.
“Put your hands on mine. I need you to control the pressure.” Deven responds immediately to her pleas.
She does as he asks, pushing down as her whimpering increases. I’m completely lost as to what I can do to help when Cassius appears at the head of our bed.
“While the Alpha’s scent can be calming in times of stress it’s nothing compared to the scent of the fated mate.”
He explains as he takes the hand that’s wrapped around her in his. He guides me gently to her face, positioning my palm against her cheek.
“Deep breaths, Jessa. In through your nose out through your mouth.”
He directs as he wipes the sweat from her forehead. I duck my head down in the hopes of catching her scent from her neck as she starts to relax.