Friday, December 20th Pt. 3
“What’s happening?” Deven and Cassius both ask loudly in the hopes that I’ll answer.
“Why am I biting her?” I scream as I try to flee.
Deven keeps his hold firm as he pulls me back into a sitting position. I vaguely feel the bucket get placed back into my lap as I wretch from the taste of blood in my mouth again. It’s only after a full minute of vomiting bile that I can concentrate on the flash back long enough to realize a difference.
“She smells different.” I speak softly as the memory has sent me into shock.
“Can you tell what the difference is?” Cassius asks, returning to his gentler voice.
“When she climbed in my lap, Buddy told me she was in heat and needed to be marked. I don’t know the difference. The only thing I can tell is that I didn’t want her near me when she got in my lap but I didn’t push her away or tell her to leave. I did the opposite. I welcomed her despite her scent being very negative to me. After I bit her it changed to something I could handle. I wanted her to be close. I wanted to hold her, protect her.”
I open my eyes and look into Cassius’s as I realize what I’m saying, in awe of my own actions despite the obvious trauma. I only keep the connection a moment but it’s long enough to see him nod. I close my eyes as my tears freely fall. While slow, the realization that this was once my life is sinking in and it’s becoming harder for me to accept.
“Can you tell us about Jessa? Tell me why you felt the need to seek my advice?”
Deven asks as I lean back against him. The care Cassius gives me after my second round of getting sick comes easier this time.
“It’s hurting her.” I whisper after a long pause. “She woke up hungry but as soon as she started eating it made her nauseous. She ended up sick once we got back to our room. She was in a panic to the point that she was terrified of me when she got done in the bathroom. I had to help her to the bed as she collapsed from the pain. Once there, something about her scent told me what she needed. I had to pry her hands and legs away from her abdomen to get the heating pad on her. When I said something about touching her abdomen she got very frightened. All of it is oddly familiar only….”
I trail off for a moment as I think about the flashback I just described for them.
“Only it’s normally children that you help, not a full grown woman.”
I look at Cassius again, the gravity of what’s happening weighing on me hard as I nod my head.
“We’re going to need your help.” Deven starts slowly.
“How so?”
“We’ve mentioned before that we believe you have been blessed as a protector.”
“Yes sir.”
“Well, that creates a trifecta of difficulties when it comes to the possibility of forcing Jessa to submit to an exam.”
“Why would you have to force an exam on her? What are you examining?”
I can’t help but hear the fear and panic in my voice.
“Slow down, Cole. I anticipated such a reaction but it’s important that you calm down and process those emotions before we continue or you’re not going to understand. Your cooperation is critical so this doesn’t add to the difficulties she’s already having.”
Yet another skill that they’ve been teaching me. It is for certain the most difficult but I’m getting better. It takes me several minutes to gather myself but they give me that time before starting again.
“Based on what little she was willing to tell us when she first got here combined with the symptoms you described it sounds like she has HSD.”
“Demetri had me tested for that.” I speak slowly.
“Yes he did.”
“I never got the results.”
“I’m sorry you’re in the dark on that. He never told us why he wanted you tested and insisted that the results go straight to him. I’m not sure how but he managed to keep the results off your medical records.”
“When I spoke to him he said it was best to leave the results alone. That he would talk to me when the time was right.”
“Did he say anything about why he asked for it?”
Deven tries to get more information. I shake my head before stopping short.
“I didn’t understand it at the time but when you left me alone with him in the tub, he mentioned that I channeled a dream to him. I don’t remember anything else about what he said though.”
“Do you think the two are related?” I nod slowly with my eyes trained to the floor in shame.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Devan tries to reassure me. “You’re thinking about the comment I made when Demetri asked about testing you for it.”
I can’t help but nod, flinching as the teen’s screams echo through my head. I haven’t been completely honest to any of them. That nightmare combined with becoming paralyzed created a lot of issues that I haven’t been able to bring up. I just can’t bring myself to ask for help.
“Do you remember the dream you had, that was channeled to Demetri?” Cassius asks softly.
I sigh. It takes me longer than it should but I ultimately shake my head. It’s neither a complete lie nor is it truth as I’ve had fleeting moments of that same dream coming back both as a dream and a flashback. Only now it’s in pieces that I can’t quite grasp. What little I remember from the first time I saw it leaves me in disbelief. There’s no way it’s a memory. No one could possibly be that sadistic.
“Are you okay?”
I look up at Devens face when I feel his hand upon my shoulder. I nod as I force myself out of my thoughts and back to why I’m there.
“This exam you wish to do, what do you need to do? Will it hurt her?”
My fears for her can be heard easily.
“No, she’s just unlikely to willingly allow me to touch her skin in this highly vulnerable state.”
“What’s your plan?” I ask before he has a chance to continue.
“The exam is emphatic. I would like to touch her skin near where her pain is. It will give me an idea of the intensity and I’ll be able to take on some of her pain in the process which will make the second thing I need from her a little easier.”
“What’s that?” My voice trembles with the thought of it being more complex than simply touching her.
“I will explain the medication more once we get to that part but as an empath I have the ability to diagnose issues before test results come back which authorizes me to use certain medications without necessarily having tests done. I will ask her to consider doing the blood test for HSD but that’s only if I can tell she’s not anemic as being in heat takes a lot out of a woman.
The difficulty for both of you is going to be getting her to tell her story. I need to know her history. Mainly, how old she was when her first full shift occurred compared to the first time she was raped.”
“Because HSD only occurs when you’re raped before your first shift.” I mumble though without thinking.
“Almost.” Deven corrects gently. “The person doesn’t have to be raped to develop hypersexualization. It happens if the person is violently sexually assaulted or if they are sexually abused. There are many diagnosed with HSD, both men and women, who were never raped but were repeatedly molested before being removed from the situation that have gone on to develop the hormonal changes found in HSD.”
“You said there’s a medication that can help her?” I ask with a little more hope than when I first came to them.
“Yes. There is a hormone blocker that I can give her that will lower the level of hormones in her body. Hypersexualization in werewolves is tied directly to hormone levels and by lowering them it will reduce the level of cramping she has. It will also make her less attractive to unmated males.”
I finally nod in agreement. I know hearing her story will be difficult but I need to know what happened to her as much as he does.
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