Saturday, December 21st Pt. 3
“The main one causes your body to tense in such a way that makes it difficult for you to be sexually penetrated. Unfortunately, that defense makes the male use even more force during the assault which results in physical damage. If it is left untreated, and most are, it causes scarring that makes having sex painful. They did explain that if fated mates are tender with each other during consensual sex and they are able to handle getting tied, that the chemicals released will heal the damage caused.”
I can tell she has used this as a distraction as she very slowly makes her way down my spine.
“That’s a good start. The bath will help relax the muscle spasms I’m having. While I expect sex to cause pain, the chemicals that are released during my orgasm will reduce the perception of pain. The chemicals that are in your semen when you orgasm, the seminal fluids that are continuously released while your glans is engorged and the pressure the tie causes internally will all act together as a muscle relaxer.”
I whine sharply as she starts hitting the worst of the scaring. Shifting my feet slightly away from her I find it difficult to stay still.
“I’m sorry, Cole. I know it hurts you. It’s okay to express the pain I’m causing.”
“Why are you doing this?” I whine suddenly cursing myself immediately.
“I can feel her presence. It’s the strongest it’s ever been since she first smelled you five years ago.”
“Five years?” I can barely breathe out.
“Remember our conversation with Deven when he diagnosed me as likely having HSD? I was at your pack five years ago when I was seventeen.”
I whine even more as she continues her touch. I have no understanding of why such a light touch could hurt as much as it does. What on earth happened to my back to keep me in such pain? I whine sharply again as her touch disappears before it reaches my waist. I maintain a steady rhythm for my breathing waiting for the pain from my back to subside.
I am acutely aware of Jessa and her touch on my body. Even though she has left my back she has not stopped her exploration of my body. She has switched to the front, tracing the lines of numerous scars that cross my entire body. I don’t think I have found a single spot on myself that doesn’t have at least five making it difficult to believe that I wasn’t at some point some vial creature worthy of being put down.
Her hand slides slowly from the waist of my boxers to my face, cupping both of my cheeks as she brings me into a long but gentle kiss. This is familiar and relaxing as I immediately get into it. I slide my free hand around her waist, cutting the kiss short as I find that she’s without apparel. I open my eyes and look into her beautiful blue-gray eyes.
“Did you?”
I cut myself short of asking if she had drugged herself, not certain that I really wanted to know. I sigh in relief as she shakes her head.
“I wanted to, considering the panic attack I had when we first got back here but I didn’t. I have no reason to fear you. You are not them.”
“Have you ever had sex?” I suddenly find myself asking. “I’ve had three alphas and a beta do as they desire with me.”
“No Jessa. If you didn’t want it. If you told them no in any way then it was rape.”
I try to calm the tears that fall from calling her sexual experiences what they are.
“Have you had sex?”
I try again now that I have better defined it. After a long pause she shakes her head.
“I was interested in Damian.”
“Alpha Black’s son?” She nods.
“I saved his life just before his sixteenth birthday. He flirted with me quite heavily but I knew I couldn’t date him until he turned eighteen. By the time that happened we were such close friends that kissing was too awkward to go beyond.”
I nod as I slowly let my breath out. I have mixed feelings on what she just shared. Part of me wishes she would have had at least one pleasant experience before me but just thinking about her kissing Damian has my wolf growling.
“Are you ready to get in?”
I ask even though I’m not ready to be naked. She nods before laying her head against me. Her hands roam south again stopping at the waist of my boxers. I can feel her hands shake as she pulls the sides away from my skin. I am truly worried about her desire to have sex when it’s so obvious that she isn’t ready.
I nuzzle my way into her neck, kissing her gently, waiting for her to make the next move. After a good minute it seems she may have lost her nerve. With a swiftness I didn’t expect, I suddenly find myself nude in my mate’s bathroom.
“You get in first. I really do think I should get a low dose of Ativan. I can feel her building, her desire gets so strong that the only way she’ll feel you is if you hurt me.”
Her voice is fearful yet steadfast in what she believes is needed.
“Please don’t. Get in with me. Sit in my lap, chest to chest. Please. I’m willing to have sex with you. I’ve wanted to have sex with you from the moment we got together.”
She hesitates as I climb into the tub. I pray to Diana that it means she will forget about it.
“You don’t know how crazy she gets.”
“Please.” I whisper gently as I lower myself into the water. I hold my arms out to her as she finally makes her decision.
I smile shyly as she steps into the tub. I guide her as she sits slowly in the water, straddling my lap until she’s close enough to touch my legs. I use my fingers to caress the flyaway hairs that refuse to remain in her ponytail from her face.
“Thank you.” I whisper against her lips.
She wraps her hands around my neck and head easily resumes where we left off. I allow myself to lay back into the cushions lining the tub, opening my mouth as her tongue runs softly against my bottom lip. I respond easily to the activity, the shaft between my legs twitches upward as it thickens. I timidly run my fingers down her chest, following the curves of her breasts completely around before traveling over top. I slow each hand as they come in contact with her hardened nipples, rubbing them slowly with my thumbs. She moans against my lips as her southern heat grinds slowly against the soldier awaiting some of the action.
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