Monday, May 13th Pt. 12
“No Cole. You can’t do that.”
I chastise gently as I place my hand on his stopping the ineffective yet desperate clawing he has resorted to when the tape failed to give.
“Please. It needs to stop. It hurts.”
He’s absolutely frantic as I climb into the bed with him. Somehow his instincts are very strong and he immediately submits to the hold I had on him last night. His broken arm is between us as we sit chest to chest. He’s actively crying from the panic and pain that this medication has caused yet none of us know enough to stop the machine.
“What’s going on here?” The patient, kind voice of Carol comes back into the room.
“Why did you speed this up?”
“It’s supposed to run over half an hour, not a full one.”
“Which means you didn’t read his chart before coming in here.”
“The call button was activated while you were using the bathroom. I came in to see what he needed. I didn’t realize I needed to research him first.”
“Then why did you change the feed? Extending the time reduces the side effects that more sensitive patients will experience. You should know this.”
Carol has made her way to the feeder and has started adjusting it.
“Please make it stop.” He whines into the crook of my neck.
While I do have better control now that I’ve gotten between his hands I can still feel him rubbing the IV against my shirt in an effort to dislodge it.
“I need you to be still Colton. I’m going to fix this.” She tries to pacify his continued whimpers.
“Dr. Atkinson, are you still on the phone?”
“Yes ma’am. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a patient react like that.”
“Colton, can you tell me what you’re feeling?” Carol turns her attention back to him.
“I’m on fire.” He nearly chokes on the words as they come out.
“What part of you is on fire?” I’m surprised to hear such concern in Dr. Atkinson’s voice.
“Just my arm until the other nurse changed the feed. Now it’s everywhere.”
Several hard yelps and a brief fight results in the phone being tossed into the floor with a loud thud at my mother’s feet.
“What was that about ?” Alan asks cautiously.
“I’m holding his arm so I can detach the IV feedline. He’s hot Dr. Atkinson.”
“What do you mean hot? Can you describe in a medical way?”
“A blister that gets infected and starts to spread under the skin. His entire arm has the same redness and heat coming off of it as a severe skin infection.”
“It caused him a great deal of pain for you to touch him?”
“Yes sir.”
“Does he have any hives anywhere?”
“His arm is a deep hue of red. His back is showing large patches of pink.”
“What about his chest, face and neck?”
“Face and neck are the same as his back. With the gown on I can’t see his chest and I don’t want to stress him further as he’s in need of a nebulizer treatment. His wheeze is getting worse.”
“Can he swallow?”
“Hand me his glass of juice please?” I ask no one in particular. Arianna brings it to me.
“I need you to sit up just enough to get a small drink. The ice has cooled it down further than when it started so if your throat feels hot this will feel good to it.”
I speak as if I’m coaching a preteen who’s terrified, the closest thing to maintaining respect for him while maintaining the feeling of safety.
“I’m going to hold it. Just grab the straw and take a small sip to start.”
He follows my directions with only a little hesitation. It’s a relief to see him take more than instructed once he realizes that he can.
“Slow down a moment. Are you thirsty or is your throat hurting?”
“Both.” His reply is quick and simple.
“What about swelling? Do you have any difficulty swallowing or the feeling of a lump in your throat?”
“It just hurts to swallow.”
“Did you have that before the medication?”
“No sir.” He lays his head back on my shoulder as his conversation with Dr. Atkinson ends.
“Ari, can you put his drink on the table?”
It only takes a moment before I feel Ari’s touch on my shoulder. She takes the drink from my hand but lingers.
“Cassius, I’ve never seen eyes like his.”
I can feel the change in Colton as she continues the eye contact.
“Ari, I need you to back off. He’s not likely to tolerate eye contact.”
“I don’t understand. Eye contact isn’t bad. The only time I couldn’t make eye contact with someone was when they were complaining about something I did. Even as an omega I never feared eye contact.”
Her inexperience is showing and I know I only have a short amount of time to intervene.
“Cole, I know you haven’t been here even a day and a lot has happened but it’s important that you understand that I know a lot more about your history than you. You are not in trouble. Neither is she but she doesn’t understand like I do. Don’t fight. This will not hurt you.”
My voice is quiet but fast as I can feel him amping up from Arianna’s refusal to follow my directions. I take my right hand from his side, where I had found a spot of bare skin I could slowly rub with my thumb, and place it over his eyes. It’s a relief to feel him relax.
“What’s wrong, Cass?” She’s confused and concerned.
“I understand that you don’t realize what the navy blue eyes mean but it’s important that you don’t force eye contact. Most individuals that have them find eye contact very threatening.” I speak carefully as I don’t want to upset Cole again.
“Why?” It’s surprising when they both ask at the same time. I sigh hard as I really didn’t want to get into it here.
“Can I make a suggestion?”
“Sure.” I respond slowly as I thought he had hung up already.
“I’ve been looking through his chart. It lists several concerning things, two of which explains why he’s registered as John Doe and not Colton, as you’ve been calling him. You don’t know for certain that his name is Colton, do you?”
“No we don’t. I believe his true identity is something close to that name as he is familiar with the sound of it. The problem is figuring out which half of it is familiar, the Cole or the Ton.”
“There’s a lot of names that could have either of those. With dissociative amnesia and dormant wolf syndrome it will be difficult for Colton to understand his own behavior which is why I would recommend explaining in simple, factual terms, what the evidence is pointing to.”
I knew it would come to this. I just didn’t want to do it in the hospital.
“First I need your recommendation on dealing with his reaction.”
“I have already listed him as being allergic to the medication. It and antibiotics in the same family will not be used on him. The allergic reaction, while significant, is mild enough to treat with Benadryl. Normal treatment for this type of reaction would be a shot of epinephrine but he has too many contraindications for it to be safely used. Benadryl will make him sleepy but it won’t increase his anxiety or reduce his kidney function. Carol will receive a bottle of the liquid shortly. You can take it home. Have him take 10ml every six hours for a total of four doses than he can take as needed.”
“Yes sir, thank you.”
“For what? I wasn’t the most hospitable person when we started and I still don’t approve of him leaving the hospital.”
“I understand your concern. The thank you comes from your change in attitude. Even with the change I understand your stance but I also need you to understand and respect mine. This young lad has walked through hell his entire life and somehow, after twenty years, has come out alive.”
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