Friday, October 18th Pt. 17
His voice cracks as he starts to cry. I nod as I reach towards his face.
“I know it’s hard but you admitted that you told Deven and I two different things regarding your concept of sex. Now, I feel that it’s important for you to understand that the deep seated fear that you just showed was not a reaction you had with me last year. What did you tell Deven?”
I run my fingers through the hair along his temple. His body shakes as it tries to regulate the emotions he’s going through.
“I can’t keep talking about it.”
“Why can’t you talk about sex? You didn’t struggle when going through the sexual activity questions last year with me.” I prod gently.
Slowly I have worked my way behind his head and have started working him towards my shoulder.
“Lay your head on my shoulder. My aura and scent will help to calm you. You have had a very bad panic attack based on this conversation and I don’t want your answer to stir it up again.”
I’m relieved when he submits. I wrap my arms around him, one placed low on his hips the other rubbing gently between his shoulders.
“I know you hate the subject. You hated it when I first spoke to you about your activities but this reaction to it is new which is why it’s important that you repeat to me what you told Deven. I promise I will drop the subject and no one here is going to comment or ask questions. Depending on what you say I may be able to shed a little light on it but I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’re seeing.”
He takes several deep breaths. I feel his hot breath against my neck as he has finally settled on my shoulder.
“The man takes medication. Two shots in his arm. They make him hard, painfully hard. Then the ladies take turns until the medication wears off. It hurts alpha. Sex is supposed to be loving and pleasurable but what’s going through my head when I think about it isn’t. What’s in my head is painful and frightening. What happened to me, Alpha Demetri? You know. Out of everyone here you know.”
“I’m sorry, Cole. I know nothing about that one. Based on your reactions tonight I am willing to place a guess that something happened to you while you were at Red Fang between November and March that was highly sexual in nature. Based on your very conservative nature, anything sexual would likely be traumatic.
I can, however, assure you that the overwhelming desire to take advantage of Jessa is not you. I firmly believe that particular memory is something that you’ve witnessed in your original pack. The details of what you’ve seen I can’t tell you as you never admitting to seeing the women being raped. If I remember correctly, you had heard the sounds of rape in the dorms and you were forced to free those who had been raped from what bound them. Took them to medical help when they needed it.”
“You’re saying that happened to me.”
“I honestly don’t know. It happened after you left me.”
I pet his hair gently as I feel Deven approach me.
“I can’t get detailed as Clayton has woken up and is now resting in Sheila’s lap but it’s important that you know he gave more details to you than me.”
“Thank you.” I nod as I continue to work on Cole.
“If it would bring you peace I can sleep in the same room as you and Jessa. As a protector it is highly unlikely you’d do something but your fear is high enough that I’m willing to offer.”
“Please. I don’t like the feelings I have right now.”
“I’ll talk with Cassius about getting a bed in there.”
He’s finally relaxed enough that his breathing has returned to normal and his hands, while they still hold the fabric of my shirt within them, have relaxed their grip. I stay with him giving him the comforting ground that he’s in need of.
“Is he going to be okay?”
A look beside me reveals a young pup that I assume is Clayton with one hand on Cole’s hip and the other on his elbow.
“Clay, we need to let Alpha Demetri help Cole to calm down. He just went through a tough panic attack.”
“He’s okay, Deven.” I try to reassure both of them as Cole moves his hand from my shirt to the pup. “He seems to want him close.”
I observe as Clay lays his head on Cole’s side and Cole’s hand caresses the boy’s hair.
“It’s safe here. I know it wasn’t at first for me but Cassius and Deven, they made it very safe. Please don’t be afraid.” Clay makes his own attempt at comforting Cole.
“It’s not being here or even the alphas that are trying to help Clay. I know they are safe. That’s why I chose to come back. It’s the flashes. The nightmares. The idea that they might be my memories. That’s what’s terrifying.”
He whispers a brief confession as he shifts uncomfortably in my hold.
“Is your back bothering you?” I ask in a normal tone.
“I need to sit back down for a little bit. It seems running for the door has aggravated it.”
“Do you want to sit on your own?” I hesitate to ask but neither of the questions I want to ask will come out correctly.
“The reclining chairs offer me the best support when sitting. I don’t think there is enough room for you to join me.”
“How did you know I want you to stay with me?”
“I didn’t.” He admits as he slowly pushes himself off me. “I can’t explain why but I’m enjoying your presence. I appreciate your help.”
I nod slowly.
“I want you to be comfortable and if the recliner is what you need then that’s what I prefer for you to do. Perhaps Clay can sit with you if it doesn’t cause even more aggravation. I think Cassius was very excited to engage in the history of werewolves disguised as storytelling.”
“Hey, you make it sound like I’m getting ready to drone on about the history of the United States. The myth of the original werewolves is much more interesting.”
He protests like he’s a pup but with a chuckle at the end. It’s reassuring to see a slight smile form on Cole’s face as he turns and heads to the chair he was last in.
It only takes a moment for Cole to get settled into the chair. I smile as Clay climbs into the chair after him and settles himself nicely into Cole’s lap. He has turned himself sideways so that his shoulder and head are leaning into Cole’s chest.
“If you’re okay with him being there I’ll carry him back to bed once we’re done.” Deven explains.
He nods slowly as he lays his head back against the chair, his face subtly tenses as his back tries to settle as well.
“You’re in enough pain that if you want it, I can get you a shot of toradol. That and some Valium would allow you to sleep decently.”
Deven has knelt down in front of the chair waiting for him to look at him.
“I’ll take some Valium when I get in my room but I have to think about the toradol.”
He responds. Deven nods as he walks back to the couch. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, grabbing three bottles of water before shutting the door. It’s when I reach the chair Cole is in that I realize the ladies are gone.
“What happened to the lunas?” I ask with a slight chuckle.
“Arianna is nine months pregnant with twins. She doesn’t stay up late and mom is helping her with getting to bed. I usually lay with her until she’s asleep but they insisted that I was needed more down here.”
I nod before turning my attention to Cole. His eyes are still closed but he at least appears more relaxed.
“Cole, are you thirsty?”
He opens his eyes slowly, they have a glassy look showing the sedating effects the codeine portion of the Vicodin is having on him.
“Now that you’re calm it looks like you could sleep. Would you like to lay down?”
I ask as I hand him a bottle of water. He shakes his head without speaking.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
