Friday, December 20th Pt. 5
“You’re taking on the pain.”
“Yes ma’am. I’m hoping that if I can get you relaxed and trusting enough that you can give me the last of the information that I need to diagnose you.”
“With what?”
“HSD.”
She takes several deep breaths as she continues to calm herself.
“Are you familiar with the diagnostic criteria?” He asks.
“I did a little research while I was in nursing school but my heat cycles have always been irregular. This is only the fourth time I’ve had one.”
Her voice is strained as she tries to talk through the pain.
“Cole, do you remember anything that was said when you were paralyzed?”
“It felt like you didn’t want to test me for HSD. You mentioned something about it only occurring before shifting.”
“That’s correct. He never did explain why he wanted the test so badly.” He mentions again. He seems greatly disturbed that the reason was never given to him.
“I channeled a dream I was having to him.”
“Do you really think that had something to do with it?” I nod my head.
“He mentioned it when you left the room with Cassius, after the sensory test on my legs caused me a lot of pain.”
“I am sorry that caused you so much pain.”
I simply nod as Cassius has apologized multiple times for pushing her to continue.
“It sounds like it was a difficult dream.” Deven’s voice is soft and concerned.
I shake my head, not wanting the flashbacks to start again, I bury my face into Jessa’s neck.
“It’s not real. It didn’t happen.” I mumble into Jessa’s neck.
I can hear Deven sigh but he doesn’t address my denial.
“One of the key diagnostic criterias for Hypersexualization Disorder is one of two things happening to the individual.
One is long term sexual abuse during childhood. Unfortunately, the sexual training of females from an early age has resulted in a large number of females having the diagnosis of HSD even though the council made it illegal in the early 1950’s. While the exact mechanism that causes the hormone increase is still unknown there’s overwhelming evidence that sexual abuse during childhood causes that change.
The second way this disorder is acquired is through a single traumatic sexual assault. While a sexual assault that occurs after the first shift is still just as traumatic, one that occurs before the first shift has a fifty percent chance of developing into HSD. I can diagnose you without the blood work. Verifying abnormal hormone levels is just the most definitive way of verifying the disorder when an assault is known or suspected but the individual shows no symptoms. It’s the story of your first assault that I need information on, Jessa.”
He ends his sentence softly as if he’s ashamed to ask for the information. I can feel her nod her head as she wraps her hand around mine.
“To give you the best information it would be best if I started back before things got abusive for me.” Her voice is finally relaxed enough not to shake.
“I grew up as any werewolf pup normally does. I was the only child of two loving parents and while I was mischievous and hardheaded I didn’t cause any problems. It wasn’t until I turned thirteen that my parents started suspecting that something was different about me. Rumors had started going around the pack about the council receiving word that an empath was in the pack and they needed to find them. I didn’t know a lot about empaths at the time and it’s only looking back that I realize why they mentioned it to me.
As all young wolves do, I started warrior training about six months later. Alpha Tristan always started new groups in the new year. All the pups that turned thirteen during the previous year would get invited to join the group. I struggled a lot with warrior training as I was in constant pain without ever being hit. By the time I turned fourteen I had been meeting with Alpha Tristan weekly for three months. I didn’t know it until our meetings but he graded how the preshifts did in training and he was very disappointed that I was failing. The meetings always happened without my parents and he was always angry with me. I told him the truth. I told him how every time someone in the group got hit I could feel their pain.
After six weeks of calling me a liar he suddenly decided it was time for me to receive punishment for my failure. That first punishment he hit me fourteen times with a belt with my clothes on. After three weeks of him doing this I refused to report to him. I told my parents that he was spanking me for failing warrior training. Even they were shocked and promised to speak with him.
Three weeks later he called for me to show up without my parents. I was scared and refused to do it. After three months of refusing to report to him without my parents he sent his beta to collect me from training. His beta, Atlas, was nearly as tall and strong as Alpha Tristan so it took nothing for him to grab my hand and drag me to Alpha’s office. Only it was a different office than where I normally reported. Once we were inside the room he locked the door.
He went into his standard beratement of what a failure I was and how he expected more from his upper ranked members. That was the first time he told me that he had given me enough time to adjust my attitude towards training and since I hadn’t improved it was time for some additional motivation. Beta Atlas picked me up from the chair and laid me across the desk. Alpha held me down until beta got to the other side. I was petite in size at that time so there wasn’t much I could do. I fought like mad when he took my clothes off. I remember him leaning over me and telling me to scream all I want as nobody can hear me in a soundproof room. If I tell my parents what he does to me they will never believe me and that I should swallow my pride and accept the inevitable. I was the empath that the council was looking for and he was getting ready to teach me how the world works. Empaths are an abomination against Diana and as a female he can have more fun with me than a male. While talking he had forced my legs apart and had his hand between them.”
Her tears are streaming quickly down her face.
“He rubbed my clit for a moment before finding his way further down. It only took him a few seconds to get his finger inside me. I screamed as it hurt me to feel him where no one has ever touched me. He kept at it for a while. It was only when I stopped fighting him and settled into crying over screaming that he stopped. I prayed to Diana for him to be done only to hear him tell his beta to pull me forward. Chain her tight, this one’s a virgin I heard him say as he picked me up. It was as the chains snapped down around my wrists that I felt him. I blacked out as I screamed.”
She attempts to roll towards her stomach but ends up yelping from the pain. She spirals quickly into a panic attack as she appears to lose touch with what’s going on around her.
“Jessa, I need you to focus on my voice. You’re not there. No one is hurting you now.”
“He wasn’t done with me.” She suddenly blurts out.
“Tell us what you need us to know.” I encourage her gently.
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