129. Cade
Cade
We were running, and I felt it. Kaya was off the link. I tried to mind link her but she didn't respond I let out a roar that shook the trees near us. "Robert." I mind-linked. "Alpha, she is dead." "What happened?" "She, I had to cut the baby out, and she just died." I could feel his emotion over the link. What do I even do? She was gone. How had this happened? She was the strongest wolf I knew. I roared again. I was going to kill Howi, which would be long and drawn out. He had killed my mate.
If she had been left alone, she would have been in a hospital. She would be in comfort snuggling our newborn. I didn't know if even the baby would survive. The north, though, was warmer now because of the season, but it would still be cold. There was still snow on the ground. I knew the rest of the pack felt that she had died, and Mark's mind linked me.
"Cade." "What?" I yelled through the link while I continued to run. "I am sorry." I snapped my jaws at him. I would not hear about her. No one was allowed to talk about her. The only thing anyone could say or do was help me get Howi. That is all I care about now. My chest was on fire. I couldn't believe she was really gone. I didn't bother to stop for rest. The rest of the pack that was with me didn't complain when we ran for three days. By the fourth day, we were in the Arctic. When we ran to the Daybreak pack, I had let everyone rest. I had run at a leisurely pace.
Not to get to the Arctic, we had sprinted for a full three days, not stopping at all. When we came into Crescent Pack, we found it completely vacated. There were no bodies, dead or alive. What was going on? Where were they? I shifted and yelled for Kimi. "Where are they?" "Cade, I don't know." "Mind link them now." She stood there, and nothing happened. She looked at me, and I saw that she was crying. "They are not responding. Something is blocking me still. "Well, everyone spread out and look for them." I roared. They did as I asked, only peeking into the tents that were still up and there. No one was found, and we searched for two days. There was no response that whole time from Nieva or anyone from Shadow Pack.
There was nothing to do but return home. Robert kept mind-linked me telling me he had no idea where he was. I decided to stay here and look for him and my newborn daughter. I had a daughter. A little light in everything going on. She would remind me of Kaya. Hopefully, she looked like her mother, with her dark hair, olive skin, and brown eyes. Mark had tried to convince me to return with them, but I wouldn't have it. I needed to find my daughter. I needed to bring Kaya's body home. Robert had been wise to stay put. He had no milk for my daughter, and if I didn't get them out of there soon, she would die too.
Robert had mind-linked me, saying she was acting like a normal baby. Despite the fact that she had not eaten since being born two days ago, Her coloring was apparently good and her breathing steady. It did not make sense that she would be perfectly healthy without food for days. Something was going on besides all the bad. The Goddess had to be intervening to make my little girl stay healthy. I needed to get to her, though I was sure the Goddess couldn't keep the baby healthy forever. I watched my pack, and the northerns that had come with us moved out. I grabbed as many supplies as I could scrounge up and got a sled. There were still a few left out and set out on the tundra.
Kaya told me it was easy to get lost out there if you didn't know where you were going, but I didn't care. I just needed to find her. I needed to find my daughter. I refused to sleep, sniffing the air as often as I remembered. By the fifth day, I was not often I was delirious. I had not eaten for over a week. I had not slept for just as long. I was only running on adrenaline. I was exhausted and lost. I had no idea where I was, and the sun not fully setting was not helping. I needed help determining where east or west was. I should have had one of the northerners come with me. They knew their way around.
But I had wanted to be alone. I was grieving. Robert kept me updated. At least my daughter was still doing okay. But apparently, this morning, she had started to act hungry. I knew it would eventually happen. I knew she could not forever be held by the Goddess, and she was almost out of time. I had cried and cried. I wanted Kaya to be there. How could she be taken from me? I had waited so long for her.
I had adopted her way of life. I had embraced the way of life the Goddess approved of, yet this was happening to me. The Goddess had forsaken Kaya, letting her die and me as well in her death. Now, she would leave my daughter, and she would die. Even if I got there, I had no milk for her. She would starve. I was so angry I thought I would rip the world apart. I couldn't do anything, and I swore the whole world would suffer from my loss. Everyone would pay. Nieva, for keeping my pack from me. Robert for allowing Kaya to die. Howi for causing all of this. I would hurt everyone who was happy because I couldn't be. I felt nothing but overwhelming hatred. My balance was off, and the next thing I knew, I fell over in the snow. The adrenaline was leaving, and the only thing I could do was sleep.
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