138. Kaya
Kaya
Cade, Robert, Sol, and I finally made it home. I was beyond tired. Cade and Robert both looked as rundown as I felt. It had been a crazy week. In the hallway in front of our den, there was all the baby stuff, and it needed to be brought in. But Cade and I both looked at each other, and we knew. We would take care of it once we had some rest. I would only get a little sleep because Sol had to eat every two hours, which meant little sleep for me.
But both of us would sleep when we could. Cade and I both climbed into the bed, Sol in my arms. I laid her between us, and the second my head hit the pillow, I was out for the night. The sleep was my first natural good sleep since being taken from the rental home. When I woke up to feed Sol, I saw Cade. He was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful.
When he woke up, he would have to face the shitstorm we were in. There were so many unknowns. It brought me back to what it was like right when Charlie had come to us running after his pack was wiped out. Then I thought about Kimi. I knew she would be so excited to meet Sol. She would no doubt have her own baby next year. Looking down at Sol, I knew she was so loved by so many. I knew my family would be more than happy to welcome her to our family.
I brainstormed what could have happened to half of our pack and Crescent Moon Pack. I could not even think of what they could have done or where they could have gone. I knew they took the boats. There had always been so many on the shore, but there was not a single one when we were there. I knew they had to have left by boat, but where could they have gone. And how was it? Wherever they were, we could not contact them there.
I trusted Nieva. She knew how to defend a pack. She had been a great Luna my whole life. She was wiser than almost everyone I knew. I trusted her, and she told Cade she would keep our pack safe. She never did anything that made me not trust her. I had to continue to trust her. I needed to instill those feelings of reassurance to Shadow Pack. I knew everyone here in the pack lands worried about their loved ones. I knew they would struggle to trust others with their safety.
I would assure them that even though we could not contact our pack, they were in good hands. I hoped my trust in Nieva could extend to them. I knew Cade had not called for a pack meeting yet, but it would come eventually. And when that happened, I would be right there trying to ease everyone's panic.
Not to mention, I still had to explain what happened to me. The pack had all felt I died over the pack link, and then I was back. They would want an explanation. Not only did I need to tell them I met the Goddess, but I needed to tell Cade about what the Goddess had told me. The wishes she wanted me to fulfill and the affair that Sol would be our only child. I was upset by that thought, but once I actually held Sol, I knew she was more than enough for me to feel content.
She was so perfect, and I looked forward to teaching her all the things my parents had taught me. I was also a little worried that she would mind that I never actually talked to her. Or that I could never hear her. I also worried that I would not know if she needed me as a baby. I could never hear her cry. I had to rely on looking at her to see if she was upset.
What would I do if she had a nightmare and I never heard her cry? I would not know to comfort her. But then I looked to my side and saw Cade. I remembered then that I was not alone in this. He could hear her, and he would know if she needed something, and he could take care of it or at least tell me she needed me. I knew Sol would be able to communicate with me. My sisters picked up sign language when they were six months old.
I knew Sol would be the same, and my sisters learned to speak and sign simultaneously and at the same rate. I knew I didn't need to worry about Sol being unable to communicate with me. But would she be ashamed of me? With the fact, I could never actually use my voice to talk to her. I remember Quill telling me I was lucky I didn't have to hear Mom scream at me. Maybe Sol would feel happy she would never listen to me actually yell at her.
When she got her wolf, she would eventually hear me over the link. No doubt, when she was a teenager, she would be chewed out, but she would never hear me scolding her with my voice. It would be okay, I told myself. The Goddess had told me Sol would be great, and I trusted her to know that as our creator, she knew us the best. I looked at her tiny body as she clung to me and couldn't be anything but thankful both she and I were here and that, against all odds, we were safe and sound at home.
I finished feeding her and swaddled her with one of the muslin blankets I had in the hallway. I had grabbed a few things we would need just for the night. Tomorrow I would unpack everything and set up our den for having her with us. I yawned. I was so tired and knew I would be up in another few hours, so I closed my eyes, and I was instantly sleeping again.
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