69. Cade and Kaya

Cade

Kaya sat there sipping the smoothie. I knew she would like it. That was evident as she continued to sip at it. I was just glad to be getting some kind of food into her. Kaya mind linked me. "Did I hurt anyone?" "What?" "In my hysteria, did I hurt anyone?" "Nothing too bad." She looked out the window. I didn't want to tell her she had bitten the doctor severely, not to mention the scratches I had acquired, but they had healed by now. The doctor still had a faint mark of her teeth, but he was okay. I linked her, "So tomorrow you are going hunting with your friends." "I don't feel like it, Cade." "I know you don't, but it is important that you are staying busy; doing nothing will just make you worse."

I was trying to be delicate, but she could not dwell on this forever. First of all, it would be impossible for her to do because she was the Luna of Shadow Pack, which meant she had obligations. Two, I knew she had a lot she wanted to accomplish, and something like this should not stop her from doing what she wanted to get done. And the most important reason is that it could kill her if she did nothing. I linked her again. "I was thinking when you and your friends teach sign language, you should do it in shifts. There are a lot of people in the pack with different schedules, so offer the class three times a day, and you guys can hold it in the cultural hall."

"Cade, I don't know if I want to teach anybody anything." "Kaya cut this shit out; everything will be fine, it sucks now, but I know you; you are not a weak wolf, you will push past the uncomfortably like you do when you fight, and then you will be okay. You just got to push through and fake it until you make it." She just looked out the window, sipping on her smoothie again. I looked down at the dials on the radio. I got an idea.

I turned the music on to find a good station and turned the music up a lot. I wanted her to feel the vibrations like she did the last night of the tournament. As I drove, I glanced over at Kaya; she was swaying, sipping away. She actually looked peaceful. I could get her some headphones and a music player; she seems to like music. I made a mental note to do that in the future. For the rest of the ride, we did not mind linking. Kaya just continued to sway to the music I had been playing.

Kaya

Some house staff came to help me carry in all the stuff. I knew I would be doing laundry this evening and probably tomorrow. Whenever we got new clothes, I insisted on them being cleaned by me. But I had been the only one doing our laundry because I did not want to bring foreign smells into our den. Now, I would have to start that all over again. The first thing I would do is wash the bedding. I knew we had a few sets, but I only needed one for tonight.

When I got to the laundry room, I noticed every washer and dryer was empty. Usually, only one was open, but all of them were open and available today. I could wash everything in a few hours with all the machines. The only thing I could not wash was Cade's suits. I didn't know how to do that, so he had to send them out.

But whoever did his suits after I first made our den did a great job not getting their smell on the clothes. Cade helped me load everything up. He was serious. He would sit with me while I did nothing but talk to my family and Nieva. He wouldn't even be able to listen in. The laundry room had a small sitting area, which we took as we waited for the laundry to be switched over and then another load. Cade mind-linked me. "You go ahead and talk to who you need to. I think I will close my eyes for a bit." It had not occurred to me that he might not have gotten a lot of rest these last few days. If the roles had been reversed and he had been suffering, I would not have been able to sleep.

Had he been with me the whole time? I would ask Helen or Kimi when I saw them next. I watched as Cades fell back and his eyes closed. He must be exhausted. I mind-linked my brother Quill first. "Quill, Oh, thank the Goddess. We have been so worried about you." "I am okay." "I take it your fever broke." "I didn't even know I had a fever." "Nieva has been giving us updates on you, and yeah, you had a fever, among other things." "Can you tell me what then happened?" "Why don't you ask your mate? He has not left your side in days." I looked at Cade, who was already asleep.

"He is getting some sleep; just tell me." "Yeah, I would bet he is tired. He has probably has not slept. Nieva told us you freaked out first, which is understandable. I tell you what, if that had happened here, the culprits would have been caught already and killed those fucking assholes who almost killed you." I knew that destroying an established den could kill mated wolves. I had never seen it happen to anyone, and I had been kept sedated the last few days, so it was not like I knew exactly what my body did while I was unconscious. Quill knew, though. Nieva would not have kept a sliver of the truth from him or my family.

"Kaya, you freaked out and lashed out, so they sedated you. Then your fever came, and it was extremely high. After that came the seizures, and that was scary. When Nieva told us you were seizing, Mom could not stop crying. Dad, well, you know how stoic he is, but I swear, Kaya, I have never seen him so scared in my whole life. Not even when you were on the brink of death after the bear on your solo hunt. Or even when they told him you could not hear anymore. Not even then, but when Nieva told us, all the color drained from his face. Please tell me you plan to talk to both of them."

"Quill, I will. I wanted to talk to you first and then Mom and Dad." "Good because they are not doing good, not knowing how you are. But anyway, after the seizures, you just stopped. It was like your body just had to fight off an infection or something. The seizures were violent, and then nothing. The fever receded, and Nieva told us we would just have to wait, and here you are." "Thanks for the update." "But Kaya, how are you really. Nieva told us when you woke up, it would be horrible emotionally for you?"

"I am okay." I lied. I didn't want to tell him I felt detached from everything but Cade. I didn't want to say to him I just wanted to lay down and sleep, and I no longer desired anything. "Don't Lie to me, Kaya; you and I don't do that." "Fine, I feel like shit. It is like nothing matters." "That is normal. At least, that is what Nieva told us it would be like. But, Kaya, you have to push past it. If you don't, you will just wither away and die. This time is going to determine if you recover or you don't. If you let the grief consume you, it will kill you."

I didn't respond. No one had told me that. I am sure Cade didn't want me to feel like I had to be moving and doing things, but at the same time, he encouraged me to do things. I was glad that Quill had told me. That if I wallow, I could die. But, the problem was I didn't know if I wanted to live. I felt pure sadness; something so special, my haven had been ripped from me.