My heart is on fire
Sadie's pov
It has been two days since the party that I thought was meant to celebrate Daisy's achievement but ended up causing a complete rift between us. I feel restless whenever I think about what happened at the party. Daisy has been my best friend, and I don't want us to drift apart like this or I should be the one responsible for the breakup. I need to find a solution to resolve our unspoken disagreement. She won't even answer my calls. I'm concerned about her well-being, especially considering the emotional impact of finding out that Justin isn't her father. She must be going through a traumatic experience, just like me. For more than twenty-three years, I have felt empty in my search for my real father and I think my mum has given up in the search. Daisy is likely feeling the same way now. It's gotten to the point where I don't even feel like eating. All my thoughts were to make up with Daisy.
Justin referred to the party and its aftermath as blessings in disguise and he said it was through the party we made our love public, but it was my friend who has always been there for me, fighting for me during high school. She stood by me when no one else did, not even my busy mom who worked multiple jobs to make ends meet. She defended me when I was bullied, and I would cry on her shoulder and she was like a godfather to me. Even when Leo broke my heart, she invested her time and effort to make sure I was okay. How can I live without such a person?
I picked up my phone again and dialed Daisy's number, but it just kept ringing, just like all my calls to her after the party. I have tried talking to Justin about how I feel, but he said I would get used to it. I can't get used to this, knowing that something is emotionally troubling my dear friend.
I dialed Daisy's number again, hoping to hear her voice, as it has a soothing effect on me. I needed that soothing power to ease the restlessness in my soul.
I was standing near the window of my room when I heard the sound of my room door opening. The day was already dark, and by the way I stood, Justin immediately knew that I was still preoccupied with thoughts of Daisy.
"Thinking all day won't solve what's bothering you. Daisy is okay. I've told you many times, she's back from the hospital. It seems like you're giving too much power to your thoughts," he said. Then he walked up to me when I didn't respond and placed his right hand on my shoulder.
"Sadie, calm your mind. Overthinking can lead to medical issues..."
"You won't understand what I'm going through. Daisy is like a sister to me. There's no one who can replace her in my heart. Ignoring my calls feels like she's gone forever, and it's causing me great pain. I feel like I've betrayed her..."
"Meaning?" He interrupted me with a strong voice, and we locked eyes.
"If I hadn't come here in the first place, neither of us would have fallen in love and this wouldn't happen.”
"Have you forgotten so easily? We didn't meet because you came to see Daisy. We met at the hotel, where I promised to teach you romance," he said with a smile. "Our paths were meant to cross. We could have been lovers, and it would have been shocking to introduce you to Daisy. It would have been better if we had already fallen in love before Daisy found out. Then she wouldn't accuse you of betraying her."
That sounded correct in my ear, but that wasn't how it all happened again. It's true! If Justin and I had fallen in love before he introduced me to Daisy, it would only be a shocking occasion and not the betrayal that Daisy had claimed.
Justin and I were still standing by the window when I received a text message notification on my phone. I grabbed the phone, thinking it might be a response from Daisy. I didn't care if she insulted me—I would attribute it to anger. When I opened the message, I realized it was from my mum. Seeing her name made my heart rate return to normal, and I sensed that she wanted to tell me something important or share what happened when she got home.
"Sadie, I can't believe you refused to come with me because of someone old enough to be your father. Why have you brought so much disgrace upon me? What have I done to deserve this humiliation? If I hadn't gone to that event with my boyfriend, it wouldn't have caused me so much pain. Just the sight of my boyfriend and the eyes of everyone who knew me at that event made me feel like a failure as a mother. I don't support you being in that kind of relationship. When you come to your senses, you're still welcome home."
After reading the message, I closed my phone screen, and Justin could tell from my expression that it wasn't pleasant.
"What's wrong? Was that message from Daisy?" he asked, pulling me closer by my waist.
"No."
"Then who?" He extended his hand, wanting to see the message.
"No, if you truly care about my feelings, you'll let me keep it to myself."
"Listen, Sadie, whoever says anything degrading to you is also saying it to me. I love you, and I don't want anything to break your heart."
He continued insisting on seeing the message, but I refused and walked away from my room, heading to the living room. I didn't want Justin to read that message and I don't know how he would feel and most especially how he would start looking at my mum, probably with hatred.
A few minutes later, he joined me and said, "Since you came back from that event, you've changed a lot. This isn't the Sadie I knew before. You're not the Sadie who always wants us to kiss before going to bed."
"Justin, please try to understand. I want to make peace with my best friend, Daisy. No matter what it takes, I am ready."
"Is this how you're going to make peace? By refusing to show me the message someone sent you? I'm willing to help you, and you're rejecting my support. How can we move forward? Does it mean that if you don't make peace with Daisy, we can't enjoy our new life together?”
"Please leave me alone. If I'm not at peace with Daisy, I won't..."
"Is that what your mum or whoever sent you that message told you?" He interrupted me. "Why are you letting external forces control our love?"
"Justin, you'll never understand the kind of love I have for Daisy. It's more than just friendship. I told you my heart is on fire, did you think I was joking? I'm telling you the truth."
In anger, Justin took out his phone and dialed Daisy's number. After a few seconds, it started ringing, and surprisingly, Daisy answered the call.
"Hello, Daisy. How are you feeling now?"
"I'm fine and getting better."
"That's good to hear. Please, I want you to do me a favor."
"What favor?" Daisy asked.
"Sadie wants to talk to you..." Justin hadn't finished speaking when Daisy ended the call. Before Justin could look up at me, tears started flowing uncontrollably. It was as if I was in intense emotional pain. Justin looked at me with compassion and approached, holding my hands. But seconds later, I pulled my hands away, sat down on the couch and buried my face in my lap.
This was all I had feared. I was the scapegoat in all of this. Justin still had a way with Daisy. She must still have those tender feelings for him as her father, even though she now knew he wasn't her biological dad.
With my head bowed, I started thinking about what could bring us together. Then the thought of letting Daisy know that her boyfriend was cheating on her crossed my mind. How would that help me in this situation? Daisy might ask me why I didn't tell her earlier. Why now? It would only add salt to my own wounds.
The two people I love so much are against my chance at love. My mum, someone I cherish with all my heart, and my best friend from high school. But what they want me to do could also break my heart. How on earth can I walk away from Justin? I don't know how he has managed to hold onto me. I keep asking myself, don't Daisy and my mum see what I see in Justin? Are they blind? As I lamented, Justin and I heard a knock on the door of the living room.
"Did you invite someone?" Justin asked.
All I could do was shake my head. Justin stood up and approached the door, and my heart started pounding uncontrollably. Is that Daisy knocking, or someone else?
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