I don’t expect you to love me again
The room was heavy with silence, the kind that presses against your chest and makes it hard to breathe. Dora stood by the window, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, as if trying to hold the pieces of her heart together. The tears on her cheeks glistened in the dim light, each one a silent testament to the pain she had carried for so long. Austin stood a few feet away, his hands clenched at his sides, his face a mask of regret and desperation. He had spent years running from this moment, but now there was no escape. The truth was out, and it hung between them like a storm waiting to break.
"Dora," he began, his voice low and trembling. "I know I hurt you. I know I destroyed something precious, something I didn’t deserve in the first place. I can’t undo what I did. I can’t take back the words I said or the pain I caused. But I need you to know... I need you to understand how sorry I am."
Dora didn’t turn to face him. Her gaze remained fixed on the world outside the window, as if she could find answers in the distant horizon. Her voice, when it finally came, was soft but laced with a raw ache. "You think an apology is enough? You think saying sorry can fix what you broke? Do you have any idea what you put me through?"
Austin took a step closer, his heart pounding in his chest. "I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t even deserve your forgiveness. But I need you to know that I regret everything. Every word, every action, every moment I made you feel less than the incredible person you are. I was blind, Dora. I was a fool. And I’ve spent every day since then paying for it."
Dora finally turned to face him, her eyes red and swollen, her face pale. "You think you’ve suffered? You think you know what pain is? You left me when I needed you the most. You called me names, you humiliated me, you made me feel like I was nothing. And for what? What did I ever do to deserve that?"
Austin’s shoulders slumped, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. "You didn’t deserve any of it. You were never the problem, Dora. It was me. I was angry, I was hurt, and I took it all out on you. I let my pride and my insecurities destroy the best thing that ever happened to me. And I’ve regretted it every single day since."
Dora shook her head, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. "You don’t get it, Austin. You don’t understand what it’s like to love someone with everything you have, only to have them tear you apart. You don’t know what it’s like to lose yourself because the person you trusted most betrayed you. I gave you my heart, and you crushed it. And now you think you can just walk back in and fix everything?"
Austin’s voice broke as he took another step closer. "I don’t expect to fix anything. I don’t expect you to love me again. But I can’t stay away from you, Dora. You’re a part of me. You always have been. These past two years without you... they’ve been hell. I’ve tried to move on, to forget, but I can’t. You’re in my thoughts, in my dreams, in every breath I take. I can’t live without you."
Dora’s hands trembled as she wiped her tears. "You should have thought about that before you walked away. Before you called me those horrible names. Before you made me feel like I was worthless. Do you know how many nights I spent crying myself to sleep? Do you know how many times I wished I could just disappear?"
Austin’s eyes filled with tears as he reached out to her, but she stepped back, shaking her head. "Don’t," she whispered. "Don’t touch me. I can’t... I can’t do this."
Austin dropped his hand, his heart breaking all over again. "I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve a second chance. But I’m begging you, Dora. Please, don’t shut me out. I’ll do anything to make this right. Anything."
Dora looked at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of pain and anger. "You want to make it right? Then tell me why. Why did you do it? Why did you treat me like that? What did I do to make you hate me so much?"
Austin hesitated, his mind racing. He wanted to tell her the truth, to explain how his mother had manipulated him, how she had planted doubts in his mind about Dora’s loyalty. But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not yet. Not when the wounds were still so fresh.
"I was wrong," he said finally. "I was jealous, I was insecure, and I let my fears control me. I thought... I thought you were slipping away from me, and instead of fighting for you, I pushed you away. I was a coward, Dora. And I’ve paid for it every day since."
Dora’s shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of her. "I loved you, Austin. I loved you more than anything. And you destroyed that. You destroyed us."
Austin’s voice was barely a whisper. "I know. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t expect you to love me again. But I need you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Not this time."
Dora turned away, her tears falling silently. "I don’t know if I can do this, Austin. I don’t know if I can trust you again."
Austin nodded, his heart heavy. "I understand. And I’ll wait. However long it takes, I’ll wait. Because you’re worth it, Dora. You always have been."
The room fell silent again, the weight of their shared pain hanging in the air. Dora’s phone buzzed on the table, breaking the tension. She glanced at the screen and saw her father’s name. Her heart sank as she answered the call, her voice trembling. "Dad?"
The voice on the other end was cold and distant. "You disappointed me, Dora."
Her knees buckled, and she sank into a chair, the phone slipping from her hand. Austin rushed to her side, his face filled with concern. "Dora? What’s wrong?"
But she couldn’t answer. The words echoed in her mind, each one a dagger to her already broken heart. She had lost so much already, and now it felt like she was losing everything.
Austin knelt beside her, his hand resting gently on her shoulder. "Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. Together."
Dora looked at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and hope. "I don’t know if I can, Austin. I don’t know if I’m strong enough."
Austin’s voice was firm, his eyes filled with determination. "You are. And I’ll be here every step of the way. I’m not leaving you again. Not ever."
For the first time in what felt like forever, Dora allowed herself to lean on him, to let him share the weight of her pain. It wasn’t forgiveness, not yet. But it was a start. And for now, that was enough.
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