Anxiety
Paul sat at the dining table with his wife, Sara, savoring the quiet morning. Just then, his phone began to vibrate, Sadie’s name flashing across the screen. Instinctively, he silenced it, hoping Sara hadn’t noticed. But seconds later, it rang again, pulling his attention back to his unease. This time, Sara looked up from her plate.
“Aren’t you going to pick up?” she asked, a hint of curiosity mixed with suspicion. “Who’s calling that you’re avoiding?”
Paul swallowed, feeling a familiar tightness in his chest. “It’s… Sadie,” he replied, forcing nonchalance. “She wants me to do something for her, but I don’t think I can today.”
Sara eyed him thoughtfully, clearly not entirely satisfied. She took another bite of her food, watching him closely. “What does she want?”
Paul hesitated, pretending to focus on his meal. “It’s complicated. I think it’s about time she handled her own issues.”
Sara’s gaze softened slightly, though she still seemed wary. But just as he thought he’d dodged further questioning, their young daughter, Diana, started crying from her room.
“Please, go check on Diana,” he urged quickly, grateful for the interruption.
Sara nodded and rose from her seat. As she walked toward their daughter’s room, she called back, “Don’t forget, today’s Diana’s check-up. We need to get to the hospital before nine.”
“Of course,” Paul replied, his voice casual, though his mind was anything but. The moment Sara disappeared down the hallway, he felt an irresistible pull to reach for his phone, his finger hovering over Sadie’s number. Thoughts swirled—Sadie, who always seemed to reach out at the worst possible times, threatening his careful balance. Why was she calling now, after so much silence?
Just as he was about to dial, Sara returned to the room, carrying Diana and adjusting her bag over her shoulder. She gave him a quizzical look, interrupting his train of thought.
“Are you done eating?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes… yes, I am,” he replied, clearing his throat and reaching for his plate. He stood up, making his way to the kitchen, and as soon as he was out of Sara’s sight, he pressed Sadie’s number.
“Hi, Sadie,” he greeted, trying to keep his voice low.
“I need to see you, Paul,” she said without preamble, her tone carrying a sense of urgency that made his pulse quicken.
But just as he was about to respond, Sara’s voice drifted in from the dining area. “Sweetheart, where are you?”
“Sadie, I’ll call you back,” he whispered hastily and ended the call, his stomach knotting with frustration. When he returned to the dining room, Sara looked at him, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“What were you doing?” she asked. “We need to leave soon for Diana’s appointment.”
“Oh, right,” he replied, brushing it off. He grabbed his car keys, smiling at Sara as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “Let’s go. I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
They walked out to the car, and as they got in, Paul’s phone vibrated again with a new message from Sadie. Anxious, he stole a glance at the screen, trying to read it quickly without attracting Sara’s attention.
Hi Paul, where are you? Are you home? I need to see you—it’s important. Call me back as soon as you can.
As he read her message, a wave of tension gripped him. His mind spun, torn between the familiar pull Sadie had over him and the life he was trying to protect. He felt his heart pounding faster, as if it might give him away. His thoughts drifted, considering the reasons Sadie might need him, wondering if he’d regret ignoring her again.
Suddenly, he was jerked back to reality by Sara’s voice calling his name.
“Paul! You just passed the hospital.”
Startled, he glanced over, seeing her worried expression. “Oh, sorry,” he mumbled, his voice distant. He quickly turned the car around and parked. The air between them felt thick, laden with words unspoken.
Sara opened her door, her brow furrowing as she looked at him. “Are you alright? You seem… distracted,” she said, studying him.
Forcing a reassuring smile, Paul nodded. “I’m fine. Just… thinking about work,” he replied, though he could see she wasn’t convinced. Sara got out, holding Diana’s hand as they headed into the hospital.
As soon as they disappeared into the building, Paul’s hand flew to his phone. He pulled up Sadie’s number again, staring at it, his thumb hovering over the call button. But doubts crowded his mind, his conscience gnawing at him.
“Am I doing the right thing?” he whispered to himself, the question filling him with dread.
Caught between guilt and temptation, he knew he needed a confidant. After a moment’s hesitation, he scrolled to another number and dialed.
“Hello, Sam? Are you in the office?” he asked when his friend answered.
“Yes, what’s up?” Sam replied, his tone casual.
Paul swallowed, feeling his heart race. “I… I need to talk. I have something to confess.”
There was a pause on the other end. “Sure, Paul. Come by. I’m here.”
Relief mingled with anxiety as Paul ended the call. Sam had been his friend since college, someone who knew his flaws and his strengths. He hoped Sam might help him find a way out of this mess he’d spun himself into—a snare of secrets, regrets, and a pull he couldn’t resist yet felt ashamed of.
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