I was......
Ella’s pov
My life has been full of struggles, things I never wanted to share with anyone, especially not with my daughter, Sadie. I was always afraid that telling her the truth would only hurt her. So, I made up a simple story instead. She grew up believing that her father and I separated early in our marriage, and that’s all she needed to know. It was a big lie, but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted her to have a happy life, free from the dark memories I carried.
I didn’t know that one day, my secret would come back to haunt me. The trouble began when Sadie saw an old photo I had on my bedroom wall. She had always asked about her father, but after seeing that picture, she grew curious. That evening, she came to me, her eyes full of questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
At first, I tried to brush it off. "Sweetheart," I said softly, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she sat down beside me, "can we talk about this some other time?"
Sadie shook her head firmly, not letting me avoid the topic. "No, Mum. I need to know now," she insisted. "I feel like you’re hiding things from me. You once told me that my dad left, but you never told me his full name or even about his family. How am I supposed to know who I am if I don’t even know where I came from? Please, just tell me the truth. Is he dead? Is that why you never talk about him?"
Her questions hit me hard, filling me with guilt and sadness. I didn’t know how to face her. I looked down at the floor, my mind racing with thoughts and worries. Had I made a mistake by hiding the truth all these years? Had I failed as a mother?
Sadie seemed to notice my distress. Her voice softened, and she reached out to touch my hand. "Mum," she said gently. "If this is too hard for you, we don’t have to talk about it now. I just… I just want to understand."
I took a deep breath, knowing that I couldn’t hide it any longer. "No, Sadie. You deserve to know the truth. It’s time I tell you," I said, trying to steady my voice.
"Sadie," I began, the words trembling on my lips, "I was raped."
Sadie’s eyes widened with shock. "Mum… what?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.
I nodded slowly, the pain of that night flooding back. "Yes, it was a terrible thing. Something I never wanted to remember or talk about. But you’re not a mistake, Sadie. You are my joy, my strength, and I’ve loved you every day since the moment I knew I was having you."
Sadie was silent for a moment, processing what I’d just told her. "So… all this time, you were hiding this from me?" she asked, her voice filled with confusion.
I nodded again, feeling tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. "Yes, I was hiding it," I admitted. "I did it because I didn’t want you to carry this pain. I wanted you to feel safe, to feel loved, without worrying about my painful past. I wanted you to have a childhood that was free from the sadness I’ve felt. You’re my only source of happiness, Sadie. I was alone raising you, and I just wanted to protect you in the only way I knew."
Sadie looked down, her expression a mix of emotions I couldn’t quite read. After a long silence, she looked up at me, her voice softer but still filled with questions. "Mum… how did it happen? Who did this to you?"
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the memories come back like a wave. "It happened on my last day of high school," I began, my voice shaking a little. "There was a party that night. My dad had told me not to go, but my stepmother was watching me, and she was always harsh with me. So, as soon as she fell asleep, I snuck out of the house and went to the party anyway."
Sadie listened intently, her eyes never leaving mine. I could tell she wanted to understand.
"The party was supposed to be fun, and it was… at first," I continued. "My friend, Sebastian, was there. He had been my close friend for a while, and I think he wanted to be more than that. But I wanted to remain a virgin until I went to college, a decision that I will be proud of."
I paused, feeling the lump in my throat grow bigger. "But as the night went on, things took a dark turn. I don’t remember who did it, but someone slipped something into my drink. I didn’t even see it coming. I was so caught up in my thoughts about Sebastian and his new girlfriend that I didn’t realize how dangerous the situation was. When I took a sip, everything changed. The world around me began to spin, and before I knew it, I had lost control."
Tears streamed down my face as I recalled the nightmare. "I woke up the next morning in a strange hotel room. I was alone, scared, and confused. My body was in pain, and when I looked around, I saw blood on the bed. It was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I had lost my virginity to a stranger. I had no idea what happened the night before."
Sadie’s face was pale, and I could see the shock in her eyes. I wished I could take away her pain, but I knew that wasn’t possible. I had to keep going. "That night changed my life forever. I was filled with fear and shame. I didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened because I thought no one would believe me. I was ashamed and scared.”
“What did you do next?” Sadie asked with great concern.
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