Chapter 172- The Weight of Ashes
Adrian
The battlefield smelled of smoke and blood, the mingling stench of iron and scorched earth. My chest rose and fell as I surveyed the field. What had begun as my conquest, my triumph, now teetered on the edge of collapse. I clenched my fists, claws biting into my palms, my fury churning hotter than the fires that still crackled along the ridge where our forces had collided.
I had prepared for Lexy, for CJ, for their alliance. I knew their strength—knew the Phoenix’s destructive power, knew the beast of a king she called her mate. I had weighed all of that and deemed them surmountable. What I had not anticipated was the endless tide of reinforcements that poured into their ranks, like water rushing in to drown a flame.
Troops—fresh, eager, disciplined—arriving as though summoned by the gods themselves. Where had they all come from? Packs and tribes that once swore neutrality now marched beneath her banner. It was a slap to my face; a mockery of all the threads I had pulled in the shadows to keep them divided.
I ground my teeth until my jaw ached.
“They fight like they’ve been preparing for this war their entire lives,” Kael muttered beside me, his blade dark with blood. He was right. These were no raw recruits or desperate men conscripted for survival. They were seasoned, unified, hardened by loyalty.
Loyalty to her.
Lexy.
The name alone made my blood boil. She was supposed to falter under the weight of expectation, supposed to crack under the pressure of leadership. Yet she stood at the center of the storm, her fire bending but never breaking, her people rallying as though she was not just their queen but their salvation.
And here I stood, watching my plans unravel.
I would not retreat. I could not. Retreat meant admitting that all I had built was nothing more than sandcastles crumbling beneath the tide.
I turned to Kael, my second, my shadow, my family. His face was set, grim, the same unspoken question burning in his eyes: *Do we press on, or do we live to fight another day?*
Cowardice. That’s what retreat was. Survival at the expense of dignity. What was the point of survival if it left me shackled by the chains of failure?
I forced my gaze back across the field. Their forces stretched further than I had imagined, surging in waves that threatened to drown the last of my men. I could see Lexy herself in the distance, her flames arching into the sky, her silhouette a beacon of merciless hope for her people. And CJ—the brute king—was never far from her side, their movements so in sync it was as if they shared the same blood, the same heartbeat.
I hated them for it.
But more than hate, I envied them.
My troops, in comparison, were fracturing. Discipline faltered under the crushing weight of opposition. My generals barked orders, but panic had begun to ripple through the ranks. Fear is a disease, and once it spreads, it devours everything.
I stalked through the chaos, shoving men back into line, my voice a whip. “Stand your ground! Do you want to be remembered as cowards? Fight, damn you! Fight for the cause we built together!”
Some straightened. Others still wavered. Their eyes betrayed them. Doubt had already claimed them.
Disappointment stabbed at me like a blade. I had forged them, trained them, molded them into the instruments of my vision. And yet, in the moment that mattered most, they crumbled. Their courage was brittle, their resolve paper-thin.
I had not raised soldiers. I had raised followers—and followers were only as strong as their faith in me.
And right now, their faith has faltered.
The clash of steel roared behind me. Kael stepped close, voice low. “If we keep pressing, we’ll be swallowed whole. These reinforcements—there’s too many. Even if you set the field ablaze, it won’t be enough. We need to fall back.”
“Fall back?” The words were poison in my mouth. I turned on him, my fury was hot enough to burn. “Would you have me crawl? Would you have me bow? After everything we’ve built, you would have me abandon it all?”
Kael’s eyes did not waver. He had been with me since the beginning, bound to me not by fear but by choice and blood. Yet even he, my most steadfast ally, could see the writing on the wall.
“Adrian,” he said, almost gently, “if you fall here, then it ends here. Everything. But if we live to regroup, to rebuild, then it doesn’t have to end.”
I wanted to strike him. I wanted to silence his pragmatism. But a deeper, quieter voice inside me whispered the same truth.
Still, I could not accept it.
I had clawed my way up from nothing, carved my power from the bones of those who underestimated me. Every scar on my body was proof of my refusal to bow, to surrender. How could I retreat now, when all of it was supposed to culminate in this moment?
I turned my gaze skyward. Smoke smeared the horizon, and above it, the faint glimmer of dawn’s light pressed through. A new day, one that would either bear my victory—or my annihilation.
The sounds of the battlefield seemed to slow, muffled by the weight of my decision.
Retreat… and live with the knowledge that I had failed. Or fight… and risk being crushed beneath Lexy’s rising tide.
I imagined her face, her fire-lit eyes as she delivered the final blow, as she stood triumphant over me. The thought twisted my stomach, filled my chest with molten rage.
No.
I could not give her that satisfaction.
But survival gnawed at me all the same.
I breathed in sharply, my lungs burning with smoke. My men looked to me, some with desperation, others with the last flicker of determination. They would follow my command, whatever it was. Retreat or fight—they waited on the edge of my words; the weight of their futures balanced on my tongue.
Kael’s voice cut through once more. “Decide, Adrian. Now.”
I closed my eyes, the battlefield roaring around me, my heart beating like a war drum in my chest.
To retreat was to betray my pride. To fight was to gamble everything.
The world seemed to still, holding its breath.
And I—Adrian, architect of rebellion, breaker of chains, claimant of power—stood at the crossroads of destiny.
I opened my eyes.
And I chose—
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