Chapter 200- Shadows Given Light
Tarria
The echoes of the arena still clung to me long after we left. The scent of smoke, the feel of power buzzing under my skin, the memory of shadows curling into shapes I had once thought impossible to control. For hours, I had expected failure, for the darkness in me to betray me, to spill wild and prove I was everything I feared.
But it didn’t. Not today.
Instead, when the shadows had reached too far, it was not terror I had met—it was laughter. The innocent, unshaken joy of three small children who saw wonder where I saw danger.
And now, as night settled over the stronghold, their voices still rang in my ears.
“She made the biggest sword ever!”
“It was bigger than Daddy’s arm!”
“No, it was smoke magic, but not scary smoke!”
Their words had tumbled over one another, eager and proud, as though I had done something far greater than form a fragile dagger or keep my shadows from consuming me. I could still see the way they had rushed into the sand, fearless, their tiny arms wrapping around my legs as if I were someone to be loved, not feared.
Even now, sitting alone on the balcony of the quarters Lexy had insisted I take, my chest felt tight with it. My hands trembled—not from the exhaustion of using power, but from the ache of something I had not allowed myself to feel in years.
Acceptance.
I tilted my head back, staring at the stars, remembering the voices of Kael and my father, their whispers that my darkness was meant to crown me, to rule through fear. Their chains had defined me for a while, I had almost believed them.
But today, three children had undone those chains with laughter.
A soft knock pulled me from my thoughts.
“Come in,” I called, rising to my feet.
The door creaked, and the triplets slipped inside, one by one, their tiny footsteps pattering across the floor. They wore simple nightclothes, their hair slightly mussed from their grandmothers’ attempts to prepare them for bed.
For a moment, I froze, unsure what to do. Children were not something I had ever been entrusted with. Yet here they were, standing before me as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Hi,” the girl said, her grin missing a tooth. “Mami said we could say goodnight.”
I swallowed, nodding stiffly. “Goodnight, then.”
But they didn’t leave. Instead, they came closer, curiosity bright in their eyes.
“Can you make the smoke again?” one of the boy asked, tugging at the hem of my tunic.
“Not now,” I said quickly, panic fluttering in my chest. “It’s… it’s dangerous.”
“No, it’s not,” the other boy insisted. “You made it soft today. Like clouds.”
His certainty disarmed me. I sank slowly to one knee, lowering myself to their height. “You’re not afraid of me?”
Three heads shook in unison, their little eyes shining.
“Why would we be?” one of the boys asked. “You’re Mami’s family. That means you’re ours too.”
The words hit harder than any blade ever could. I blinked, struggling to breathe as their small arms suddenly wrapped around my neck. Their warmth flooded me, unshaken by the shadows that still clung to my soul.
And then, softly, the girl whispered into my ear, “Goodnight, Titi.”
I froze. My heart lurched. Titi. Aunt. A name I had never imagined for myself, one I had never dared hope for. It was more than a word—it was belonging.
Tears pricked my eyes before I could stop them. My arms tightened around them instinctively, pulling all three close. For the first time in my life, I let myself believe I could be something more than a weapon, more than a shadow.
I could be family.
Later, after their grandmothers came to lead them to bed, I remained on the balcony, my hands still tingling where their little fingers had gripped me.
“Titi.”
The word repeated in my mind, steady and insistent, like a heartbeat.
I thought of Kael’s final breath, of the way my power had taken his life. The guilt had nearly crushed me, the thought that I had proven myself nothing more than a monster. But tonight, the triplets had rewritten that story. They had looked at the same hands that killed and declared them worthy of love.
Perhaps I could never wash away the blood. Perhaps I will carry that weight forever. But maybe—just maybe—I could carry it differently. Not as proof of damnation, but as reminder to never again let fear or hatred guide me.
And perhaps one day, I could truly deserve the name they had given me.
The door opened once more, this time with softer steps. Lexy slipped inside, her firelit presence filling the room with warmth. She found me on the balcony, and for a long moment, she said nothing—just leaned against the rail beside me, her gaze at the stars.
“They love you already,” she said finally.
I swallowed hard, voice low. “They called me… Titi.”
Her smile curved, soft and knowing. “Of course they did. Because that’s what you are. Not to me, not to CJ—but to them. And their hearts never lie.”
I shook my head, overwhelmed. “I don’t deserve it. Not after what I’ve done. Not after Kael—”
Her hand covered mine, firm and grounding. “Kael chose his path. You chose to end it. And tonight, you chose to begin again. My children saw that. They see you.”
Her words carved something open inside me, something I had locked away under layers of fear and shame. My throat tightened, but I managed to make a small nod.
“I’ll try,” I whispered. “For them. For you.”
Lexy’s gaze softened further, and for a heartbeat, I thought I saw pride there—pride not in a warrior, but in family.
“Then you’ll never walk in the shadows alone again,” she promised.
And as the stars blazed above us, for the first time in years, I believed her.
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