Chapter 18
Jennifer
Fuck he wants me to dream of him doesn’t he know I haven’t dreamed of anyone else except for my ex but he doesn’t count, Romeo/Sir is always in my dreams and now he wants a Dom/sub relationship with me how on earth will that work. I was in total panic mode. At least he told me tonight and I could process it, if he told me Saturday when I was with him, I might have freaked out right in front of him. Fuck. How on earth will this work his my father’s best friend, his as old as my father. I made myself a cup of tea and went to bed. While I was sitting in bed the questions were going through my brain in rocket time. I actually couldn’t believe I was even considering this and I was considering it. Just by thinking back at Friday night and how hot it was. I’ve played with a lot of Dom’s before but clearly, they weren’t experienced not like Sir/Romeo. He was in tuned with what I needed the other ‘wanne be Dom’s’ I played with will spank you a bit or flog you a tiny little bit and stopped and then they will chase their own orgasms most of the time they didn’t even worry about if the sub came or not. According to them it’s your own fault if you didn’t come. Clearly, I played with the wrong people the flogging alone from Sir had me close to orgasm it gave me a feeling I’ve never felt before and that was why I used my safe word. I’ve never felt like I was flying that I could lose myself the problem is I never want to lose myself who will ever be there to catch me. In my whole life I was the one that needed to look after myself after the death of my mother and brother my father withdrew into his work, he was never there for me why should anyone be there for me if my own father isn’t there. How will I ever allow myself to completely submit because I don’t trust anyone except for myself. With that thought I realized I won’t be able to go through with this I don’t want to waste Romeo’s time except for the fact that his my father’s best friend which I could look over, is the fact that he would want total submission and I won’t be able to give that to him. I put my cup down on the bedside table and send Romeo a message it would be better just to rip the bandage right away I don’t like wasting people’s time I pulled up his number and wrote him a message
“Romeo
I’m so sorry I won’t be able to meet you on Saturday. I was raised not to waste anyone’s time as time is money and I don’t want to waste your time. I was thinking about everything and realized except for the big elephant in the room. The fact that you are my father’s best friend is the fact that I will never be able to totally submit to you. And it’s not you, I won’t ever be able to totally submit to anyone. I never had anyone to catch me when I fall and that is why I would never leave my life in someone else’s hands. I’m very sorry for wasting your time.
Jennifer”
I pressed send as soon as I pressed that button a pit in my stomached formed. I really wanted to play with him but it’s over. I was just getting the right position to fall asleep. As if I will ever be able to sleep tonight when my phone rang. I never put my phone of because I’m always afraid something happens at my bakery. When I saw the caller ID, I was debating with myself if I even should answer. Clearly, I took too long because it stopped ringing but started again. ‘You have to take the consequences of your actions Jennifer.’ I told myself.
“Hello” “Jennifer we need to talk.” Romeo said without a hint of anger in his voice. “What is there to talk about I said everything I wanted to say.” “I read your message Jenn but I think that conversation needs to happen face to face. My driver will get you tomorrow morning at 4 am at your apartment take you to work and then after work he will bring you to me. Pack and overnight bag.” “But we can’t.” “We are going to talk Jenn and if you want to go home at any time, he’ll take you you won’t be my prisoner but I would like you to spend Friday afternoon and Saturday the whole day with me. We need to talk about the message you send as well as other stuff.” “Can I say no?” “Yes, you can but I’m persistent you are only delaying the inevitable.” That’s when I realized I will have to face him. “I can drive myself.” “Jennifer please do as you told.” “Okay but I want you to know I’m not happy about it.” “Good more stuff to talk about.” “Tell my driver what time you’ll be done at work and he will come and get you. Until tomorrow, Jenn.” Then he disconnects the phone. That was rude I thought but still I got up took out my overnight bag and pack stuff for the next 2 days. I should think of what I’m going to tell Eleanor about my bag. That’s tomorrow’s problem tonight’s problem will be should I pack sexy underwear. ‘Jennifer it’s clear you didn’t mean that message not if you are debating packing underwear. A girl should always be prepared.’ Was the excuse I told myself when I packed the sexy red and black pair of underwear. ‘Jennifer you are playing with fire.’ I thought as I got into bed. That night I couldn’t sleep I was just thinking about Romeo and what he would want to talk about clearly, he will want to convince me to be his submissive but to be totally truthful to myself it’s not going to take much to convince me not if I already packed sexy lingerie.
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