Chapter 137
Akira's POV
"Do you have his pictures?" She asked, looking at me, her eyes were filled with curiosity and something else I could pinpoint but she was anxious and nervous at the same time, I don't know the reason she was acting that way but something was off about it. I shook my head before I sighed.
"I didn't have it," I said signing inwardly remembering how Mother and Linda threw me out with little but nothing.
For three years I was used by the woman that I called mother, the woman that would have protected me yet she was the one who hurt me, I was her money bag, and after taking the money in the bag she had to discard the empty bag. I was only useful when I had cash to give. She had kept me all these years because of Ethan and all the things she could get from him.
Not that life was better for me before these three years but with Dad there, their hatred wasn't that much, I could remember many times, Linda had to exchange her old wears for my new wears and I couldn't even tell Dad because her mother will threaten to throw me out in the storm, I hated the storm, it wrecked my sanity and I didn't want to go insane completely.
For a second all the hurtful things Mother and Linda had done against me, were rushing into my head, they all felt new like they were happening now. I tried to push the thought away from my heart and head but when I tilted my head to the window while trying to hide my pains, I could see a family, they were that picture-perfect of a happy family, I watched the way the mother was playing with her daughter's hair, her concerns face and her smiling eyes on the daughter was genuine and worth being jealous of and her father was there beside her, helping her fixed her shoelace. The attention I was dying to have for years from my parents, not all to myself but a little of it. I could share it with Linda
I didn't know that Amelia was looking at me, she moved her hand and placed it on my palm that was resting on the table, "I can never understand what you had been going through all these years in the hands of the woman that takes care of you. But Mother is here, she will make sure you will never experience that..." I sniffed hard.
"You will never have to work for anything. And you will never have to live a miserable life like that again, anything you want, I will give it to you." Amelia's words were genuine, although I hadn't told her anything about myself except about the male who took me in she was reading my expression and my emotions. It feels good to have someone genuinely wanting to protect you after you have been alone for so long.
"I am sorry..." She murmured suddenly and it made my eyes move up to her when my gaze met hers, I could already see her eyes welled up with tears. I could taste the bitter tang of guilt from her expression and I could feel she was berating herself for all the pains she felt I must have gone through without her. She knew nothing about them yet she was feeling this way, what if I told her the stories of my last three years? Three years of hell, before I take my leave. "I didn't want to be separated from you, I didn't want to live a day without you, but he forced me into it, I swear, I searched for you, I wept for you and I mourned you like I had lost someone in death, but that is not good enough, I would have search harder, comes out in Public maybe, I would have found you earlier than this, but I was selfish, wanting to do it my way. I am not saying I am a good mother and your dad is a bad soul, we all have shortcomings, but I was ready to protect you with my last blood even if your dad wasn't there I failed, I didn't do my best, I didn't protect you well enough and I did fail as a mother, if I wasn't reckless all these wouldn't have happened to you."
Her whirlpool of emotions caused tears to spring into my eyes, I batted my lashes several times to stop the tears, but they were already coming down and I couldn't hold them anymore. I was never a crybaby, even though I was hurting, I was never used to crying in front of anyone except Vida, it's just the both of us that know our weakness. We could cry in each other's hands, we had gone through a lot but not in front of anyone.
In the eyes of everyone, we are brave and strong and we could take everything, not knowing behind that strong facade were two dying souls looking for redemption and a shoulder to cry on. "Don't cry please, don't cry… Mother is sorry... Don't make mother feel more guilty than she had felt for the last seventeen years." She stood from her chair and walked towards mine before pulling me into her embrace while circling my hand around her waist, she was asking me not to cry but she was already crying as well. I cried in her warmth. Wetting her wears with my drool and running nose, I was bad at crying, "I am sorry, Mother didn't mean to leave." She kept murmuring between her sobs while she brushed her soft hand against my hair.
"Mother didn't mean to keep you in secret. Maybe, if I had told Grandpa when I returned I had a child, he would have helped me look for you, and I wouldn't had to wait for years till I had the resources to search for you, I swear, I didn't forget all about you, you were my driving force, you were the reason I was aiming for success, I need all the means so I could get you back if ever I found you," her words were honest without filtering, I wanted to know more but I didn't know how to asked about that, I didn't want to cry more. It's already painful that my mother was absent from my life for the past seventeen years and that I have lived like an orphan when I had parents. I didn't want to think it was her fault, I didn't want to blame her, I didn't want to judge her but I still wanted to know the reason I was separated from her, "why did you leave me? Why did you abandon me?"
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