Chapter 178
Akira's POV
"What are you doing here?" His voice was low like his throat tightened and he was finding it difficult to speak.
"How are you?" I asked taking a step closer to him.
"Please don't come closer, you should leave..." He threw the duvet off his body, swinging his legs to the floor, as he sat on the bed.
"Why are you chasing me away? Is it the baby? I thought you said you gave up your Pack for me and now you are giving me away because I was carrying someone else inside me."
"No oh... Not because of that." He growled standing from the bed, I tilted my head to him but he was backing me.
"Then it's what? You don't love me anymore."
"You don't understand, there are a lot of things you don't understand, and having this pup is a whole lot of things that will make it even more difficult for us to be together." He tilted his head to me, his eyes were pooling with tears, which made me want to rush to him and hug him. "Akira, please don't make it more difficult for me, just move on and forget about me."
"Do you still love me and trust me to let me into your world?" I asked the same question that had been asked a while again he didn't answer.
"I can't give you the life you deserve and the pup you are carrying deserves a father and I still can't give that to him as well."
"If you are scared of giving the Luna titled to me because I am a human girl and that of the alpha titled to our unborn pup because he is also half human, then you don't have to be afraid, we are just okay being the second family of yours."
"No... Akira..." He cut me off, "All my life, I wanted one thing, to find my mate and wish that mate was the one my heart beat for, and when I found you, I fell for you even without the mate bond, I still wanted you and I wanted to give the world to you and my pup that might come for you but I know it's not possible. You deserve better, and I can't give that to you." I let out a little awkward chuckle.
"Interesting... Who are you to tell me what I deserve? Right from the moment I set eyes on you, I loved you and I wanted you, even when I had no idea about wolves and their mate thing, I wanted you, I had always loved you and your love was enough for me."
"You will meet other people."
"No... I want you, and our baby wants you."
"That is the point, I can't give that because I don't have that."
"C'mon, I am not asking for anything, I just want you to be present in our life, just be there..."
"That is it? How long do you think I could be present? Just a week... two... Three?" I look at him as his gaze meets mine.
"What are you saying? Are you trying to push me away by giving unreasonable excuses so I could turn around and leave? Instead of doing that to me, then you should tell me to leave and I will turn around and never bother you again. Just tell me, you stop loving me." Those words tasted bitter on my lips and my heart palpitations increased, I have no idea how I managed to say those words, I am tired, of coming back here for the past month, I don't know, how many more rejections I could take before I could finally let go.
I waited for a response but none came out, I turned around to leave, throwing my head behind me as I stared at the ceiling I didn't want to cry. I turned the knob, it had already clicked open but I haven’t slipped it open before his voice came out.
"I am dying..." His voice was low, he sounded defeated, I flinched back, as my gaze tilted to him. My eyes pool with tears, as I remember Meredith's voice, I shake my head in denial.
"I'm not lying." His voice cracked. "My father carried the curse before me, and so was my grandfather, my great-grandfather, and the generation before him. The Moon goddess marked our bloodline centuries ago... punishment for an ancestor's betrayal. Every firstborn son is bound to die at twenty..."
My breathing quickened, I wanted to say he was lying, I didn't want to believe it but the pain in his voice was enough to show that he wasn't lying. "No… no, that's not true... Even if it happens to your parents, it doesn't..."
"It's real."
My legs buckled, and I stumbled back until my spine hit the wall.
"No." The denial slipped from my lips in a broken whisper. "You're lying. You're trying to hurt me, trying to push me away again. You put Meredith into this right?"
I saw pain in his face, as he sighed, then he lowered himself to the floor with his back resting on the bed foot.
"I wanted to reject the bond to spare you this." His voice was barely above a whisper now. "I thought if I stayed away… if I made you hate me… it would hurt less when I was gone but I couldn't, I wanted to spend the last days of my life with you but I didn't think there would be a pup on the way."
My hands trembled as I clutched my stomach. The pup... Our pup.
"So you are worried that our pup will inherit the curse?" My voice was broken, barely holding back the sobs threatening to tear through my chest.
"Yes, I don't want to leave you with more pain, I don't want our male pup ending up like me." His voice cracked.
"What if it's a girl? We could have a daughter free from all this."
"What if he is a boy?" He turned the question, and tears spilled down my cheeks, silent and endless pain cracked within me.
"Then we will find solutions to it, to you as well." My voice was low.
"There is no solution, I don't want to live in false hope, I know there is..."
"There is, and I know we would pull through it." This time, I crouched down beside him, "You are not giving up now, we will find solutions."
"There is none..."
"Don't say that, I know there is one… and why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.
"I couldn't." His voice broke completely now. "If I told you… you would have tried to find a way to break the curse. And there is no breaking it, Akira. There never was and I don't want you to worry yourself over it."
My chest heaved as silent sobs wracked my body.
"I don't think so, I know there is a solution to every problem and you know it..." My voice was a fragile whisper.
"Akira, there is none and don't go thinking about that, I don't want you to..." I shake my head.
"Why do you expect me not to worry when we are mate?"
"We are no longer mates, I set you free, you are free to find love and get married to anyone."
His words left my heart shattered, "No Wolfie, I don't want to love another, it is..."
"You deserve more than a broken man."
"I know what I deserve..." I shot back. "I want you and I deserve you. Even if it's only for a little while."
His chest ached at the fierce determination in my voice. "Akira..."
"Now tell me the solution..."
"No..." He replied firmly, with his forehead creasing. I swallow hard while I abruptly move slowly to where he was sitting, I lower my body and sit next to him. He didn't push me away. I pulled my legs up, resting my head on my knees that were pressed to my chest.
His eyes lingered on my exposed thighs. He swallowed hard before he averted his gaze.
I know he still wants me as much as I wanted him.
"Aren't you a stubborn big bad Alpha?"
"I am no longer an alpha, so I guess you are mistaking me for someone else." He let out a genuine chuckle while I leaned into him while cupping his face.
"Stop being stubborn, tell me, what is the solution?"
"Why not my little minx, make me obey..." His voice came out needy, and his eyes dilated.
There was no going back. I leaned in and crashed my lips against his, devouring his lips, I kissed him hard as if my life depended on it.
His big hand moved and pulled me in, cupping the back of my head. His hand crawled into my inner thighs. His grip was stronger and he kissed me back.
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