Chapter 140: You And I Forever
Chapter 140: You And I Forever
Elena
I was staring up at the ceiling in a trance, I was having one of those out of body experiences. It felt like I was here but at the same time, I couldn't quite make sense of it. I hadn't uttered a word since I woke up, Liam had asked me question after question and I either nodded or shook my head. Words just weren't formulating in my mind.
I heard everything they discussed but I don't know how to feel. My heart melted when I heard him say that he doesn't want to lose me. I felt my heart break when he admitted that he wasn't sure if he had slept with Helen or not. There was this low simmering anger inside me. I am mad at this life for never allowing me to be happy for more than a minute. I am mad at Helen and Elizabeth for having come up with such a stupid plan. All the hard work Elizabeth had put into rectifying our relationship had all gone to the gutter now.
I am mad at Bernard for having not told me about this before, I am mad at myself for feeling this anger within. But it wasn't Bernard's fault, he was as much a victim as I was.
"Elena," Liam touched my shoulder.
"Everything is going to work out, I promise you that. This is just another plan that Helen and Ronald have cooked up."
I didn't remove my eyes from the ceiling, when I first woke up, I felt numb. I felt like I was simply existing within the moment, then I felt the breaking and the cracking of my heart. I was losing him all over again.
The engagement ring on my finger now felt like it weighed two tons. I wanted to remove it but I couldn't, it was a symbol of his love for me. It was a symbol to represent our bond. I needed to draw strength from it but it also felt like it was weighing me down.
I knew Bernard was on his way because I could feel him trying to push against my barrier. I can't let him have access to my mind now. I don't want him to see the nasty and horrible things swirling in my head. He had enough to deal with already.
A part of me believed that this was one of Helen's good for nothing tricks but my emotions will not let me tap into that logical side. All I could see was what was present before me, a pregnant Helen, a confused Bernard, and a child whose father's identity is yet to be confirmed.
'l will handle this, my love. You will see and everything will go back the way it was, you will have your wedding this weekend and I can promise you.'
I didn't respond to him, I just tried my hardest not to let my tears drop out of my eyes. I wouldn't cry, I needed to keep it together for the sake of Bernard. The door opened and he walked in. He walked straight to my bed and leaned down to embrace me. It took me a while to respond but my arms eventually found their way around his neck. We stayed like that, holding onto each other for dear life.
"I will leave you two alone to talk, I will be in the office if you need me." Liam left the room.
Bernard nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. I inhaled his scent greedily, wanting nothing more than to submerge myself in him. He is mine, Bernard George Joseph belongs to me the same way I belong to him. We were destined for each other. But why doesn't feel like fate was trying to tear us apart?
He put his hand behind my back and under my knees and lifted me, he scooted me over a little bit so he could climb onto the bed. He moved me towards his chest and my palm was placed right above his heart. I felt the gentle thumping of his heart in his rib cage, his hand up and down my bare arms, gently causing goosebumps to form.
We stayed silent, we were trying to ignore the fact that we had this huge baby-shape elephant in the room but neither of us wanted to pop that bubble but I knew we had to.
"Why does it feel like I am losing you?" My voice was soft but compared to the silence of the room, I could have practically been shouting. His hand stilled, his chest rose and fell a few times and he cleared his throat.
"I am right here, sweetheart." He whispered into my hair.
"You are not going to lose me, I promise."
"You can't make a promise like that, Bernard. You can't guarantee that I won't lose you." I bit down on my lips, unsure of what to say next.
"I….I…heard all you said to Liam while I was unconscious."
His whole body tensed beneath me, his breathing became a little ragged and his heart rate picked up a little. He didn't utter a word so I continued.
"You are not sure if you slept with Helen or not." My words hung in the air like a pungent smell.
"Elena….."
"It is okay, I know it is not something you would have willingly done but the fact of the matter is that it could be a possibility. Which means that there is a chance that the baby she is carrying belongs to you."
"But it was only one time, Elena."
"It only takes one time, Bernard."
He breathed a heavy sigh that sounded more like a cry.
"Damn it," he cussed.
I lifted my head from his chest to look into his eyes. He was looking up at the ceiling, refusing to look at me. I placed my hand on his cheek, willing him to meet my gaze.
"Hey," I rubbed my thumb against his cheek.
"Look at me, please."
He slowly turned to me and his forest green eyes didn't have their usual shine. The twinkle that I often saw dancing in the corner of his eyes was gone. All I could see was sadness, it broke my heart.
"Why does it feel like I am losing you?" He whispered.
Yes, you may lose me, that was my thought. I couldn't tell him that he was losing me because I knew I would never willingly leave him but I also knew I couldn't tell him that I was not leaving him. There were so many laws when it came to our world, I am sure that there was a law about this current situation we were in. With my luck, the odds were most likely against me.
"We have faced so much from the moment we met, Bernard. Our relationship had been put through fire and storms alike. We have had to fight to even be able to say 'l love you' to one another. Do you know what helped us make it through?" He was silent.
"Because I chose you at every single step and you chose me. We chose each other, that is how we survived it all and that is how we are still surviving. I love you more than life itself, Bernard Joseph, and I would walk through fire and swim through hurricanes for you."
The ghost of a smile crept onto his face but it didn't reach his eyes which saddened me. I loved the twinkles in his eyes, they brought light to my otherwise mundane and dull life.
"I love you too, Elena." I stared into his eyes.
"I need you to hold on to us, Bern, okay? I can see in your eyes that you are tired and it all feels like a lot, that is why I am here. Lean onto me and I will help to lighten the load if you promise not to give up on us. Then I promise not to give up on you, we will make it through this."
I craned my neck up to meet him for a kiss. His hold on my waist tightened as our lips melded together. Anytime I kissed him, I felt powerful, I felt invincible. And now, I felt we could conquer it all.
I had to believe that we would make it through this, I had to keep the faith alive. Before the end of tomorrow, we will know if the baby belongs to him or not. Whatever the outcome may be, I will stick with him through thick and thin. I pulled away from the kiss and smiled at him softly.
"You and I forever."
"You and I forever," he echoed my words.
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