Chapter 187: I Am Sorry, Doris

Chapter 187: I Am Sorry, Doris

Elena

The next time I woke up the sun was down and the blinds in my room had been closed. Bernard had gone home to change his clothes and took some refreshments. I had insisted that he get some sleep at home but instead, he got another bed moved into my room so we could sleep together in the hospital room. I didn't fight on it because, truthfully, I always enjoyed his company. Being close to him healed me both physically and emotionally.

As I turned my head to my right side, I noticed Doris sleeping on the chair off to the corner. She was slouched in it and her head was in an uncomfortable position.

"Doris?" I called her and she stirred a little.

I waited a few minutes and she slowly began to open her eyes. As soon as her eyes connected with mine, she shot out of her chair and rushed to my side. She grabbed my hand in hers and brought it to her chest.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." She sniffed.

"When Bernard told me what happened, I nearly fainted. Some minutes after we got off the phone, the next thing I heard was you are fighting for your life in the hospital. That wasn't cool at all."

"I am sorry," I sniffed along with her, unable to hold back my emotions. I was just a bundle of drugs and hormones right now, I felt a little bit like a mess if I was being honest.

"So you know what happened?" She nodded and I looked away.

I knew that Nicholas was a bad guy who deserved what was coming to him but he was still her brother and I had killed him.

"It is okay, Elena." She squeezed my hand.

"You did what you needed to for yourself and our Pack." I turned to face her.

"Yes, but I am still very sorry for the loss. He was your brother." She nodded slowly.

"And he was also a traitor to this Pack. He knew what he had been doing and what he was risking when he crossed over here again. He had his second chance but he blew it and defied Bernard." I nodded.

I still felt bad, she was oddly calm about it. I had expected some bitterness towards me but there was nothing of the sort.

"Besides, when Nicholas had chosen to become a traitor, he ceased to be my brother anymore. He was a stranger to me, he had been for a while."

"And your parents? Have they been told about what happened?" She nodded, I was scared to ask the next question but I did anyway.

"How are they taking it?"

"Not as good as you would imagine. My mother isn't eating and my father….well he is just brooding in silent anger."

"Are they angry with me?"

They had everything right to be, traitor or not, Nicholas was their son and I had been the one to take his life. If I had a child, regardless of who they became, I would love them all the same and I am sure it was the same with her parents.

"They just want someone to blame but I am sure when the initial shock wears off, they will see past it. But you don't need to worry about them doing anything to you because I already warned them. They are not stupid enough to defy Bernard as Nicholas did."

"They deserve to be mad at me."

"And Nicholas deserved to die." The way she said it, I knew she didn't fully believe it.

"He was a traitor, Elena and you protected yourself. If he had managed to complete his suicide mission, Bernard would have stopped at nothing until he was dead."

Her words were meant to bring me some kind of comfort but all they did was confuse me even more. I hated that I was feeling like this but hopefully, with time, the pain and guilt would fade. I had done the right thing, I only wish it hadn't come at the cost of hurting Doris's parents.

"Do you remember when I told you that I wanted to tell you something in person?" She said after some minutes of silence, I nodded my head slowly.

"Well, I would like to tell you now if you don't mind?"

"Please, I could use some good news right now."

She bit down on her lips, looking at me nervously. I could see the glow in her eyes that I am familiar with. I had seen it on myself every time I thought or looked at Bernard.

"You and Jasper are together now."

I squealed and my heart rate monitor skyrocketed. Her eyes widened and she blushed.

"How did you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes, it is plain as day." I smiled.

"I can't believe this, I am so happy for you guys. So what is happening right now? Are you together and are you happy?"

"I…..I think… well….I don't know."

"What do you mean by you don't know?" She shrugged.

"Well we are together now but I don't know, I felt like maybe it is a little too good to be true. It was like he would just disappear at any moment."

"Why?"

"Because nothing good ever lasts for me, Elena. I am just used to everything being taken from me or people just letting me down."

"But do you think that he will let you down? Hasn't he already proven to you that he can be consistent and that he is all in for you?" She nodded slowly.

"He has but I am just terrified of getting heartbroken. I am taking that leap but it is like I am expecting the fall before it even happens. I am scared that I may be self-sabotaging."

I understood where she was coming from, taking that first step was always scary but not taking it was even scarier.

"When I had first decided that I was going to give Bernard and me a chance, it felt like I was walking into darkness. It felt like my whole chest was going to constrict from all the emotions I had held inside me. He had chosen Helen over me once before and I was worried that I was going to fall into the same trap yet again. But I still decided to walk into it with my eyes wide open because I needed to trust that the love we shared for one another was greater than any obstacles that would come our way." She nodded and I smiled at her.

"If you are scared of jumping, just do it. You don't need to be brave when falling in love, Doris. It is not meant to be so simple, love is a mixture of a thousand different things, and falling seems scary. But once you jump, it feels less scary and more freeing."

She looked away for a moment bitting down on her lips, I knew that it wasn't easy for her to open up like this. She wasn't a soft kind of person, she had very high and strong walls that she had surrounded herself over the years. This was one of the many reasons I related to her so much. It was like we were two lost flames. We understood each other because we behaved the same way.

"One thing I can tell you for sure, Doris is that falling for Jasper will be one of the best things you do for your life. Falling in love is easy, it is not simple but it is easy. I don't know if I am making sense here but you just have to be willing to relinquish control, that is all."

"That's scary, I like having control."

"We all do, but when it comes to things like love, we need to learn to let go and trust that we will be caught before we hit the ground. Do you trust him to catch you?"

"Yes, I do." She replied without a shadow of hesitancy.

"Can you catch him before he hits the ground?" She nodded.

"Then, that's all you need to know, you two are meant to be. I said it back then in the restaurant and I will say it now again. You two may not be fated but I believe that you were made for each other. So trust the process and just fall, Doris."

I knew that things like that were easier said than done but I just wanted her to try at the very least. Jasper is worth taking the risk and I knew that she knew that too. Both of them deserved something good in life and this is it. I just hoped that they would get out of their heads and just fall without caution.

"When did you get so wise?" She teased.

"Didn't you know? I am just this big ball of wisdom." She rolled her eyes at me.

"And I am glad that you are okay now, Elena. At least we don't have to worry about Nicholas anymore." I hummed in agreement.

"That is true but Mathew is still an issue and we need to make sure that we remove all of our threats."

"I know but you leave that to us and you just focus on healing. Bernard has it all under control."

I know he did, I couldn't help but worry. Nicholas was a threat we had underestimated until it was too late and I didn't want the same to happen with Mathew. I don't want him getting the jump on any of us because truthfully, I had been lucky and luck had a tendency to run out.