Chapter 39: Do It On My Own
Chapter thirty-nine: Do It On My Own
Elena
"Bernard, I need to do this on my own. Soon enough I will become your Luna and I will lose my own identity. I need to get back in touch with who I am before I lose it permanently."
"I know," He sighed.
"I know you want to find your new identity, I keep forgetting how difficult and traumatic your arrival was into my life. I am sorry, my love." Truthfully, I knew I wasn't the same girl that I was ten years ago who left her Pack. But I also wasn't the same girl who was on the run for almost a decade. I am different now and I just needed to figure out who I am now.
"I don't want to hurt you, Bernard but I just need to do this for myself." We stared at each other for a moment. His eyes were saying a thousand different things at the same time but the one thing that stood out the most was the adoration he had for me. For the first time, in a very long time, someone was seeing me.
"Okay, but you have to promise me one thing." He muttered.
"What is it?"
"You check in with me periodically throughout the day. I also need to be able to see you, Elena. My wolf hated being away from you and so do I. We need you close but I understand you want to take some time for self-discovery right now but make no mistake, once Helen leaves, you are back in our home in our bed." My heart skipped a beat when he said 'our bed.' How quickly things shifted and now we are here. It is crazy to think a month ago, I was a rogue on the run and now I am the future Luna to a powerful Pack and mated to a man I could have only dreamed of. The moon goddess did wonders for me.
"You should get some rest now." I said as I could see the fatigue taking over his body.
"No, I want to spend more time with you." He fought against the weight of his eyelid but it was a fight I knew he was going to lose.
"I will see you tomorrow when I have all my things sorted out. Alisha is waiting for me in your house, I need to finish packing my stuff." He groaned.
"Don't remind me of that." He was sulking and I can't say I wasn't enjoying it. It was nice to see him so unguarded and at ease with me.
"I promise not to get a place far away from your house, okay? Five minutes drive."
"How about zero minutes and you just stay with me as I originally planned."
"Bernard?" He rolled his eyes playfully at me.
"I know that you want to be independent and do your own thing but you can't blame a guy for trying." I chuckled.
"No, I can't." His eyes sobered and the playfulness faded momentarily.
"You know I will always support Elena, right? With every decision you make, I will be right there by your side." He assured me.
"I know," I replied honestly.
I knew him allowing me to live on my own was a huge step for him. Alpha's were creatures who did not take kindly to the word 'no' but he handled it with such grace. He yawned the last few words, showing how tired he was. It is time for me to leave and for him to rest.
"You need to sleep, Bernard. I will see you tomorrow." I was about to detach my hand from his but he held onto it tighter.
"Please wait." He stared into my eyes.
"We have a place where the gammas stay, you will have the independence that you want there and you will be close enough to where my wolf won't be anxious."
"Bernard, I need…….."
"To do this on your own." He finished the sentence for me.
"I know, Elena but I need you close to me. Call this the first of many compromises that we will have as mates. You get your independence and I get to have you within walking distance, please." I thought about his offer for a moment. He was at least trying to give me what I wanted and the least I could do was meet him in the hallway.
"Fine," I relented.
"Seeking as it is the gamma's house, that means Alisha will be there. It means at least, I will have a friend over there." I said to him.
"And it would make your mate happy but then again, that is probably just an afterthought." He said, churlishly.
He was being overdramatic in the best way possible. I love seeing this side of him, he is freer less uptight, and serious. If this was the man I was set to mate then, I could hardly wait. I am already feeling our bond growing stronger as the second ticked by.
"I have already contacted someone through the mind link and they will be expecting you. So you can decide whether you want to move in right now or later in the day." He muttered.
"Thank you, Bernard."
"Don't thank me, Elena. It is my job as your mate to make your life easier, not harder. I am sorry it took me much longer than anticipated to finally come to my senses." The way this man worded his sentence would make even the iciest heart melt.
"Good night, Bernard." I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. I breathed in his scent, relishing in his beautiful smell. It was something I knew I would never grow tired of. If I could have bottled it up and saved his scent for those rainy days in life, I would have done that.
When I pulled back, we brought our joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of my hands.
"Goodnight, my love." His lips tilted into a small smile and I nearly forgot how to breathe.
Leaving him now felt difficult but he needed to rest and I needed to find Alisha. I gave him one last lingering look before I exited the room. My hand was still heated from where his lips kissed and my mind was still replaying his sweet words.
'My love.' I wanted to wear the name like a badge of honor on my chest.
"All done, sweetheart?" Jana beamed at me from behind her desk. I shook myself out of reverie and walked to her desk.
"Yes, he is getting some rest now. I will be back to see him when he wakes up. I just need to go and sort out a few things back at his house." Jana's brows shot up in surprise.
"You are staying in Bernard's house?" She asked.
I guess not everyone knew that I temporarily moved into his house. Undoubtedly, it was strange for a rogue to be invited into the Alpha's home.
"I was but it had only been for a day. I am moving out of there tonight and making my way to the gamma's house." Her initial shock faded and her features relaxed.
"Oh, well the gamma's house is very nice and a safe place for all gammas. I know you are unranked right now but as I said before, you are welcome here, Elena." I beamed at her.
"Thank you, Jana. I better hurry up, I think Alisha might be done packing my things. I will tackle finding a job when the sun comes up." I said to her.
"I know someone who might be hiring, her name is Veronica. She is a friend of mine and one of the best bakers this Pack had ever seen in a long time." My ears perked up at this news. Everything was falling into place already and the sun hadn't even come up yet.
"That would be great, Jana." I responded, happily.
"Okay, I will send her a message and let her know you are coming." She wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
"This is the address of her bakery, it is near the Pack center." I took the paper from her and thanked her again. I said goodbye and took off in the direction of the elevator. I had an extra kick in my steps after my talk with Liam, Jana, and my mate. There was still a lot of stuff in the air right now which are Richard and those hunters who were after me but at least I knew I had Bernard by my side. I knew if he was by my side, I would be able to brave anything that comes my way.
I walked to his house, the smile on my face not once having dropped since I left the hospital. All the lights in his house were off and I knew that Helen must likely be sleeping by now. The good thing was that my room was on the first floor and hers was upstairs, so there was no chance of me running into her. I crept into the house and walked down the hallway to where my room was, the lights inside the house were still on so I knew Alisha was still there. I opened the door and saw her sitting on the bed, unpacking some of the clothes that we placed into the boxes.
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