Chapter 36: Motherly Compassion

Chapter thirty-six: Motherly Compassion

Elena

Liam was called up for an emergency surgery and left me in the cafeteria after our conversation. There was no instant regret after the words from my mouth tumbled out like word vomit. Liam was supportive and kind, even holding my hand when he saw the tears flowing from my eyes. I released everything I had been holding so tightly to my chest and I felt lighter like the burden was taken right off my chest.

I was sitting alone at the table for almost an hour, my mind ran through multiple images of forest green eyes and beautiful silky brown hair. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since I left his room. I wanted to see him, I wanted to touch and feel him beneath my fingertips. Being in the same building and knowing he is just an elevator ride away from me is torture. I wanted to see my mate but I also didn't want to risk seeing Helen again. I know what Laim said about fighting for mine and Bernard's love. I wanted to but I also knew what an Alpha's words meant to other Alphas.

I could have fought all I wanted but if Bernard was not willing to mate with me then my efforts would have been all in vain.

"Moon Goddess, what should I do?" I looked out into the starry night of Bernard's Pack land, the cafeteria had these large floor-to-ceiling windows that showed off the beautiful view during the day and the starry night sky in the evening.

I could feel the pull calling me to go to him, deciding not to delay what was only inevitable, I got up from my seat and started walking in the direction of the elevator. Liam told me that he allowed me access to the Alpha's wing so no one would stop me when I decided to go and see my Bernard.

I could feel my wolf growing more excited the closer I drew to Bernard. Being away from him now felt like a strain on her. Something shifted in the pull, I couldn't place my finger on it but I knew that something was different now. I felt stronger and more prominent, it was like the small string was upgraded to a high tension wire. As the elevator doors opened, I stepped out onto the intensive care floor. I made my way towards the Alpha's wing and thankfully no one stopped me. I walked to the reception where I saw a woman dressed in scrubs typing on a computer, she looked up and smiled at me. I looked at her name tag and saw that her name was Jana and it suited her.

"Hi." She beamed.

"How can I help you?" The first thing I noticed about her was that she was strikingly beautiful.

"I want to see Bern…. I mean I want to see the Alpha. Is he awake?" She shook her head.

"No, darling. He actually just went back to sleep, he has been in and out of it most of the night." Disappointed filled my chest, she must have noticed the look on my face because of what she said next.

"You can wait in his room if you want." She smiled and her crow's feet became more prominent but I hesitated.

"Is…hmmmm..Helen still in there with him?" She shook her head.

"Miss Elison took off a few hours ago and hasn't returned since then. I think they had a little quarrel." Her responses made me smile internally. I knew I shouldn't be wishing bad upon anyone but she is trying to steal my mate so to me, she is my number one public enemy.

"I would like to wait, thanks." I was about to turn and walked into Bernard's room but she stopped me.

"How are you feeling, Elena?" I didn't remember telling her my name. I was slightly taken aback and creeped out at the fact that she knew me but I didn't know her. She must have seen the weariness in my eyes because she let out a soft chuckle.

"Don't worry, I am not some kind of stalker. I was one of the nurses that worked on you when you first came in." She used her index finger and thumb and drew them closer to each other.

"You were a wee little thing when you first transformed back to your human form, just skinny and bones and I remember wondering how you will survive. Truthfully, I was surprised you still had a heartbeat." She muttered.

"Yes, the last few years in the wild were so hard on me." I smiled sadly.

I rarely thought about those days anymore, they seemed like such a distant memory now. This new life I am plunged into has taken those hard times I endured as a rogue.

"I can only imagine." Her eyes held sympathy for me.

I didn't want that, of course, what I endured was hard but it only made me stronger. I wouldn't be who I was without those hard lessons in my life. Although, I would have wanted something different for my life sadly the moon goddess had other plans for me.

"Have you been sleeping well, Elena? Your eyes look tired." Her face was painted with concern.

"Yes, I have." I didn't want to get into the nitty-gritty of how sleep was a distant thing for me right now. She looked at me like she didn't believe me.

"I have been alive for more than half a century, my darling. I can tell when someone is lying to me and judging by the dark circles under your eyes, you haven't been having a sound sleep." She uttered.

Half a century? This woman didn't look a day over thirty-five years. If this was what my 40s would look like, then I won't be complaining at all. She is the definition of aging with grace. I laughed nervously.

"Is not really like that. I have been sleeping some…"

"And how much is some, exactly?" She countered.

"Since I left the hospital, I have only slept maybe five hours."

"Do you sleep through the night?" I shook my head.

"I wake up in-between. I just have a lot on my mind." She stood up from her seat and rounded her receptionist's desk. She came to stand in front of me and it was then I realized that she was actually quite small. I am of average height but I had a good three inches on her.

She looked at me the way a mother would look at her daughter. It was a look I saw once on my mother's face, a look I missed. The compassion and sympathy in her eyes had my heart squeezing with an array of different emotions.

"You have been through so much and accompanying that, losing your memory, life has put you through the wringer. But you are safe now, Elena." She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder giving it a little squeeze.

"You don't have to worry about anything, I know that right now you can't remember who your family is or where you are from but just know that I am here for you. Whenever you need someone to talk to or you are in need of company, I will be right here for you. My door is always open to you." It had been so long since I felt motherly compassion, it had been so long since I felt safe enough to let my guard down. Although I am still very wary of so many things here, I am starting to feel that the protective barrier I built around myself is slowly beginning to break down.

Liam, Alisha, and now Jana welcomed me with open arms regardless of knowing nothing about me. Yes, Liam and Alisha knew that Bernard was my mate now but they still didn't know about Richard or anything about my past, yet they accepted me anyway.

"Thank you, Jana." Tears were flowing in my eyes now as the emotions took over me.

"Oh, sweet girl, don't cry." She pulled me into her embrace, and I responded immediately and returned her kind gesture. I am still trying to get used to human contact again but this hug felt nice and warm. When I pulled back, a few tears fell from my face and she brushed them away.

"Remember, you can call me whenever you need someone, okay?" I nodded, smiling at her and she returned it with one of her own.

Suddenly, a beeping went off. It was coming from Bernard's room, immediately my heart sank as my mind ran to the worst place possible. Jana took off running into his room while I stood frozen. I wanted to move and follow her but something had me glued to the ground. My heart was beating frantically as familiar feelings of fear and panic hit me, I only ever felt this panicked and scared that night when my parents died.

The beeping stopped my abs and so did my heart. An eerie silence fell upon the entire area where I was standing. No one was around me, I was all alone. Bernard's door was a few feet away from where I was standing and it was open. Then, I heard his voice and it was like relief washed its way all over my body. Thank goodness, he is okay. His words had my blood heating from where I stood.