Chapter 167: I Don't Like This Change

Chapter 167: I Don't Like This Change

Doris

She was beautiful. Alisha made a stunning bride, one that could even rival Elena who had looked like a model straight off a bridal shoot at vogue. Her dress was immaculate and her hair, and makeup were effortlessly beautiful. But that wasn't the reason why I was so green with envy. I envied the look in her eyes, I wished more than anything that I could have allowed myself to fall the way she and Elena had done for their men. I yearned for something I constantly ran from. Was I a walking oxymoron? It felt like I was.

I was complicated and difficult to love or so my father had told me once before when he was on one of his rampages. There was a lot that went on in my brain that so many people would not be able to cope with or understand. That's why I felt I was better alone.

At first, the loneliness felt manageable. I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything then the loneliness got colder and I felt like there was a gaping hole within myself that I needed to fill. Maybe it was for the best that things had turned frosty between Jasper and me. I wished they hadn't but there was no turning back or fixing things, I had ruined it all.

I took another sip of champagne as I watched the happy couple dance their first dance. There were few non-fated mates that you could tell would last forever. Jack and Alisha were one of those few, it wasn't because I knew their relationship intimately but it was in the way they looked at each other. She looked at him like he had put up the stars and the moon in the sky. He looked at her like she was the most precious diamond he had ever laid eyes on. They were everything to each other.

The only relationship I had grown up seeing was between my father and mother. I knew that my mother loved my father and vice versa, it wasn't a love like I had seen between Elena and Bernard or between Jack and Alisha. They were in a mutually beneficial relationship, my father was getting something from my mother and my mother vice versa. Their relationship began as a transaction and eventually formed into something semi-real but still, it wasn't that real consuming love.

Maybe that was why I carved it so much, I had never seen it and I wondered what it felt like to be so consumed by someone that they altered everything about you.

"Penny for your thoughts." Bernard's voice broke my internal monologue.

"Alpha," I cleared my throat.

"This is quite a successful event that you pulled off."

And it was, the theme was rustic elegance and they had pulled it off well. Fairy lights were hanging above us and tables were spread out all around us. The pool had glass over it and had been converted into a dance floor. I was sure the pictures that were going to come out, were beautiful.

"That had more to do with my wife than me. She was the spectacular one who pulled all of this together. Are you enjoying the evening?" I shrugged.

"It is a wedding, how can I not enjoy myself?"

That was a pathetic answer but what was I going to say? No, this party sucks because I had to watch one of your best friends dance with little bimbos who wouldn't know the difference between a hammer and a screw. Absolutely not, I was going to play it cordially and politely until an appropriate time came for me to leave. I didn't want to be the one guest who just came and left, I didn't want to seem like I don't care because I do. I do care about the wedding and I wanted Alisha to have a long and happy marriage even though she had been very salty towards me lately.

"Doris," Bernard drew me out of my head once more.

"Sorry, Alpha. What did you say?"

"Are you okay? You just seemed to be zoning out a lot……"

"I am fine if you will excuse me. I need a refill."

"Wait," he stopped me.

"I just wanted to apologize for what happened at the dinner the other day. I let Jasper go too far with his words, I was just trying to side with my friend."

"I get it, he believes I am a selfish witch and that was his way of getting back at me. It is fine, Alpha."

"No, it is not. As your Alpha, I am meant to be diffusing conflicts and not adding more fuel to the fire, you didn't deserve that and just so you know, you are nothing like your brother. You have proven yourself loyal and faithful to this Pack and there has never been a moment I have thought maybe you are not one of us." His words touched me.

"Thank you, that means a lot, Alpha." He nodded wordlessly.

We stood in an awkward silence before Elena walked over with a bright smile on her face.

"You are going to have to dance with me at some point, Bernard. I even wore my flat sandals just for this." She grabbed her mate's hand and then turned to me.

"Excuse us, Doris."

She pulled her husband towards the dance floor and started to dance. They were definitely one of those couples that just stayed in the honeymoon stage for the entirety of their relationship. I went to take another sip of my drink but nothing was there. I walked over to the bar.

"Please, may I have another glass?"

The bartender nodded and took my glass from me to refill it. Someone came up next to me but I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice who it was until the person cleared the throat. My back went rigid and my eyes closed. No! Why did this have to be happening?

"So, you can't even stand the sight of me that you have to close your eyes now, Doris?"

The way he said my name had my heart fluttering, no flutters were allowed. I needed to keep my resolve if I got too close. I would fall without caution and I couldn't afford that. I let out a heavy breath and turned to Jasper. His fiery amber eyes were scanning my face, I didn't know what he was searching for but when he found it. He nodded to himself and took a sip of his drink.

"Hello to you, Jasper." The side of his lips quivered into a playful smirk.

"You sound so freaking proper, it sounds weird coming out of your mouth. You know we were never like this before, Doris."

The bartender came and handed me my champagne glass and I thanked him.

"I know, things have changed."

"I don't like this change." He admitted, he edged a little closer but not enough that he was suffocating me.

"We used to laugh and joke and make up stupid jokes and things. This change needs to be removed, I want the old us back, the carefree us."

"Does that even exist for us anymore? We can't take back what has already been done but….." I turned fully to him, giving him all my attention.

"We can move forward from this, we can start over if you would like."

He thought over my proposal for a moment and then he extended his hand to me.

"Hi, I am Jasper."

My face split into such a large smile that I thought my cheeks were going to crack. I took his hand in mine and shook it.

"I am Doris."

"Well, Doris." He set his glass down and started to pull me away from the bar.

"Will you do me the extraordinary honor of dancing with me?"

I bit down on my lips and shook my head. I had two left feet as far as I was concerned, I was not a good dance partner.

"Come on," he pouted playfully.

"Put a poor man out of his misery and dance with me. Just one dance."

I relented and allowed him to pull me away from the bar. I didn't miss the cheeky smile on Elena's face as she saw us approaching the dance floor. I had to avert my eyes from her to keep myself from blushing.

Jasper pulled me into his arms, both his arms wound around my waist and mine found their way around his neck. We stared into each other's eyes as we listened to the music. I was lost in a trance and all I could see and feel was Jasper. My senses were overcome by him, his smell, his touch, his sight, his sound and now I yearned for his taste. I wondered if he still tasted the same as he had that night we kissed.

"I don't know if anyone told you this, but you look ravishing tonight, Doris." He leaned forward and whispered into my ear.

"If I am being truly honest, you are the diamond of the night for me."

I was sure that my heart rate would speed up even more, and I would get into cardiac arrest. I was so stunned by his words vocabulary and when he pulled away slightly so he could see my face, I nearly lost it then. It was a good thing he was holding me up because I was sure that my knees would not have been strong enough to hold me up. I don't know who moved first, whether it was him or me but then we both leaned in and our lips were inches away from each other.

I needed to stop this, this was not good for me or our situation but my body reacted before my brain could stop it. I closed the last few inches between us and connected our lips. I was right, he did taste the same as he had before. His lips molded against mine in perfect synchronization, and we dance with one another in a constant push and pull between our lips. His arms tightened around my waist.

It then dawned on me that we were in the middle of the dance floor and everyone at the reception could see us. I ripped myself from his hold and looked at him with wide eyes. What had I just done? A shaky hand went to my lips he had kissed.

He took a step towards me but I turned around and made a mad dash, I needed to get out of here. What had I been thinking?