Chapter 158: Nothing Is Fine

Chapter 158: Nothing Is Fine

Helen

I felt a slight pressure against my skin and I immediately placed my hand on my stomach. I felt my little baby move around in my womb.

"Hello, little one, " I said to my stomach.

My baby moved around a little more, doing somersaults inside me. He always moved when I spoke directly to him, I hadn't felt him in a while and I had begun to grow a little worried that something was wrong.

"Mummy misses you." I whispered which earned me another movement.

I rubbed my belly lovingly, my son filled parts of me that felt hollow but sadly my son couldn't fix all parts of me. There were parts of me that remained hollow and I didn't know how to fill them up.

A knock sounded at my door and a few seconds later, my mother entered my room. I backed her so I couldn't see her but I could smell the soup she had brought me.

"How is my beautiful daughter today?"

She walked around the bed and made her way to the side where I was lying. She placed the tray on the nightstand and looked at me.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"With pity in your eyes, I don't want your pity, mother. It does nothing for me." She sighed heavily.

"It is not a pity, my dear. It is worry. I am worried about your health and your state of mind. Jones tells me that you refused to eat." I scoffed.

That idiot of a sperm donor, he was the reason I was even like this. If he had just kept his mouth shut about the paternity of the child, then I would be at Bernard's side and not here. Instead, that which stands next to him in my place.

"Where is he?"

"He is out with the trackers, they picked up on a suspicious scent not too far off the borders."

My father agreed to Bernard's ridiculous plan of having Jones as a part of our Pack until the baby was born. After that, I would have to share custody with him. But I had news for Bernard, I am not allowing him to take my child from me. He is a fool to think that I would take lying down, I too had Alpha blood in my veins.

"I don't want him here, Mother."

"Helen," she scolded.

"You know that your father gave Bernard his words that he would do as he asked. We cannot risk our relationship being tarnished after all, the whole reason behind this is you. You were the one who lied to us all that the child you were carrying belonged to Bernard."

"What did you want me to do?" I sat up in bed.

"Did you want me to admit that I had been impregnated by some low-ranking dumpster wolf? I made a mistake and I slept with the wrong man but I was trying to rectify that mistake."

"By doing what exactly? Lying and deceiving your parents? Making your father look like a fool in front of not only Bernard's people but his own people as well. Do you not understand the gravity of what you did, Helen? You nearly ruined this Pack."

"I was trying to build a future for myself!" I screamed so loudly and I was sure the walls shook.

I felt the sting behind my eyes begin to build and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the waterworks started. Damn, these pregnancy hormones, I had been emotional before I became pregnant but now I was like a nuclear bomb. The slightest jostle or touch would set me off.

"You already have a beautiful life, Helen. You just need to open your eyes to see it." She sat down beside me and placed her hand on my growing stomach.

"You have been blessed with a gift, stop focusing on what could have been because it cannot be now. Focus on what will be, you have a beautiful baby boy growing inside you. He will inherit this Pack one day and he will lead us to even newer heights."

The brimming tears finally began to fall, once the tears fell, I was powerless to stop the rest from making their way down.

"This is not what I want for myself, mother." I sobbed.

"I wanted a home, a husband, and a proper family. My child is going to come into a world where his parents don't love each other."

"You and Jones don't have to love each other to be good parents, Helen. You will love your child and that alone will be enough for them. You have a miracle coming your way, don't let the jealousy you have towards Elena make you…."

"Don't say that name in my presence!" I bellowed.

"That name is forbidden within these borders! I don't want to hear it!"

I hated her, I wanted nothing more than to make her disappear into the dark light but I knew that was not a possibility. The time for those antics had passed, I had my chance and I had failed. I had allowed her to clutch onto Bernard right before my very eye.

"Helen," my mother spoke softly.

"Stop, you will stress out the child. I think you need to breathe some fresh air. Come outside with me, it will do you some good."

"Don't patronize me like I am a child! I would never put my baby in harm's way."

I stood up from the bed and stared at her, she had a worried look on her face but she did not need to worry about me. I am fine, they have gotten their way. I was trapped in this place, imprisoned like a slave. I turned to leave but my mother caught my arm. My eyes snapped to her in a heated gaze.

"Let go of my hand, mother!"

"Not until you calm down, I can sense your blood pressure spiking ab that is not safe for the baby. Just take a moment to breathe, close your eyes, and just breathe, my dear. Everything is fine and will work out how it is supposed to."

"Everything is not fine!" I ripped my hand out of her hold.

"Tell me how any of this is fine. Is it fine that I am pregnant and matelas? Is it fine that the father of my child holds no status or land to inherit? Is it fine that I am the laughingstock of my entire Pack? Is it fine that every time I leave this room, l hear the whispers?" The tears cascade down my face.

"None of this is fine, mother. I feel like a prisoner in my own home, I am taunted by my own people and I am being laughed at by my peers. No one will want to mate a woman like me now, not that it would matter. None of them could match up to Bernard."

Bernard is the holy grail when it comes to matches for any she-wolf. I had him and then I had lost him to a rogue who l presumed was nothing but turned out to be the rightful Alpha of another powerful Pack. Elena was everything I wanted to be and more. How had I turned from being desired and admired to desiring? I had lost that spark that I used to carry, I am nothing. The only thing I had left was my child, my one source of light in this dark and horrid world. I placed my hand on my stomach and then I felt the sharp pain.

"Ahhh!" I double over in pain.

"Helen!" My mother rushed to my side.

"What is it?"

"I am in pain!" I gritted through my teeth.

"The baby."

The next surge of pain came like a giant tsunami, I closed my eyes, trying to ride it out but the pain only intensified more. My muscles started to lose their power and I began to struggle to hold myself up.

"Get the doctor! Get the doctor!" I gritted out.

"Okay, I will call him." She was silent for a moment, probably calling the doctor.

"He is coming, come on. Let's lay you down on the bed."

She helped me to the bed but my mind wasn't even present, my mind was on my unborn child who not long ago was kicking and playing gleefully inside me. I wanted him to be okay, I needed him to be okay. My mother placed me on the bed and I was lying on my back.

"Mother," I whimpered, clutching onto her hand.

"I am scared, I can't lose him too. Please make sure that my baby lives. No matter what, he has to live."

"And so do you, you are both going to be okay."

The tears were pooling from my eyes and my broken heart wasn't just cracking anymore, it was shattering. My child is the one good thing I had left in this world, without him, I had nothing left to live for. If he wasn't here anymore, then I would not be either.

I looked at my mother who looked at me with a worried expression. She was never one who could mask her emotions, especially in times of crisis.

"Don't you dare give up, Helen?" She choked out.

"You are going to be fine, my grandson is going to be fine. You just need to keep breathing, okay?" I just need you to hold on a little while."

I wanted to do that but if my child was not breathing, then how could I breathe? He is my heart and if I lost my heart, how could I continue to exist?