Chapter 58: We Can Never Be Together
Chapter fifty-eight: We Can Never Be Together
Bernard
The day passed by and I didn't even leave my house for once. My father had come to see me and my mother brought me food. I sent all the servants away, I didn't want people in my space right now especially as I am in this current situation. Not only was I wounded physically but emotionally, I am not at all. Elena had left me with a deep gashing wound and I didn't know where to begin to heal myself.
My mind went back to the conversation I had with Liam, he was right. A part of me was finding it hard to believe that Elena would actually hurt me in such a way. Not after the conversation we had in the hospital and she agreed to wait for me. I could feel her lips on mine, it tasted like vanilla and coffee beans. She is aware that I chose her and she chose me, we had an agreement and I gave her my word. Then why would she turn around and date a man like Jack Morgan?
Was she punishing me? She expressed her grievance for me still having to play my little charade with Helen but Elena wasn't that kind of woman. She never sought revenge, she didn't seem like the type that did tit for tat. She is honest, fair, and kind, she has all the attributes of a great Luna. I slapped my hand against the hard granite of my kitchen counter. The lights were all out and the moon was high in the sky. The day had passed and I did nothing but brood, groan, and curse. I am angry with this life, I am angry with Elena and I am also angry with myself.
If I had rejected her before she had the chance to reject me, then maybe I would survive the process but if I did, I would be harming her. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt her, I still had so much love inside my heart for her despite all the anger.
I heard keys jingling in the keyhole of my front door, I lifted my head towards the direction of the foyer. This is not the time to receive any guests. The only people who had the keys to my house were my parents and Liam. Although I loved them deeply, I don't want to see them right now. The door opened and l waited.
"Bernard?" Her feminine voice called out.
What is she doing here? I thought she had already left with her parents. I had planned to kick her out of my life but with everything that had happened with Elena, I don't know what to do now.
"What do you mean, Helen?" I asked her.
"Why are the lights all out?" The clicking of her heels echoed louder as she neared the kitchen. I saw her silhouette by the archway of the kitchen and reached for the light switch on the wall and flipped it up. The lights illuminated the kitchen area causing me to momentarily shut my eyes.
"Damn it, Helen! I was sitting in the dark for a reason."
"Why are you even in darkness, Bernard? It is creepy and you could have scared me." My eyes adjusted to the lights and I narrowed my gaze at her.
"I can do whatever I please in my house, Helen." I was being snippy with her because her presence annoyed me. She was the last person that I wanted to see. She had lost the respect I have for her after what Ivory had told me. She was planning to hurt Elena and I wouldn't stand for it. Elena and I might have not been on good terms now but I would never let anyone lay a hand on her head. She is mine to protect.
"What is wrong with you? You are being rude to the woman you are set to marry in a few weeks, your future mate." I wanted to growl at her but I managed to push my wolf inside. She isn't my mate and I hated it when she referred to herself as my mate. I already had a mate but she has chosen someone else.
I thought about Liam's words, I don't want to marry Helen, duty or not. The only woman I ever wanted in my life was now connected to someone else who wasn't me and I just had to deal with that but I am not going to enter into a union that would only make me miserable for the rest of my life. Who knows, maybe she had a mate out there who would choose her and love her the way in which I know I wouldn't. I could never give my heart in a way that she wanted because Elena already has it.
"I don't have time to argue with you, Helen. If you have something to say then just say it or then leave me alone." She huffed and walked to where I was sitting. She sat beside me a little too close for my liking. She placed her hand on top of mine but I immediately removed it from her grasp. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes but as quickly as the emotions came, it vanished.
"Look, Bernard. I am under no illusion to think that our union will be easy." She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder.
"But I am willing to put in time and effort to make it work. We are to be partners and if we were to have a happy home, we should get along, more so when we have children." She said and a disgusting shiver traveled through my spine at the thought of her carrying my unborn children.
I don't want to procreate with this woman, I wanted nothing to do with her. She was nothing but a vile and vengeful woman who had planned to ruin the woman I loved, I could never look past that. The only reason I even allowed her to be in my house at this moment was because of the oath and the promise I made. If it weren't for that, both she and her parents would never have stepped into my territory.
"I am tired, Helen. I am already feeling drowsy because of the medicine I took. If you would excuse me, I need to rest now." I stood up from my seat but her hand caught mine before I could move. My eyes traveled from her hand up to her face.
"What?" I asked.
"Let me help you, you can barely stand." I shook my head.
"No, I am fine. My room isn't far from me." I muttered.
The world around me was coming in and out of focus. I took the medicine almost forty minutes ago but they had never done anything like this before. I ripped my hand from hers and took a tentative step forward but I nearly toppled over. Luckily she caught me by my wrist and helped me to stabilize.
"You see?" She took my arms and placed it over her shoulder.
"Come on, I will help you to bed." I didn't even have the energy to argue with her. I am tired and my bed was the place I needed to be. She helped me through the stairs.
"You know we can never be together Helen, right?" My lips were loosening and everything that was in my mind started coming to my lips.
"Enough, Bernard. We will talk about it in the morning when you are at your senses." She said.
"I need you to understand that, Helen. I don't want to hurt you but no matter which way I try to look at it, you will still end up hurt either way and I am sorry for that." I needed to shut up but I just couldn't seem to keep my mouth closed.
She kicked the door of my room open and plopped me down onto my bed. Once my head hit the soft pillow, the darkness started calling me. She started removing my shoes and socks followed by my shirt but I was too out of it to tell her to stop.
"I love you, Elena." I murmured as the darkness took over me.
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