Chapter 172: Nothing Is Wrong With You

Chapter 172: Nothing Is Wrong With You

Bernard

This was a good thing, we weren't ready. I just became Alpha and Elena Luna, we still had to connect the two Packs so that they lived as one. We had a long way to go before things were normal. So this was a good thing, right? Then why is it that my entire body is vibrating with a million needles, prickling every nerve? My skin crawled with the faint pain and I was left standing, mute as Elena stormed back into the room and slammed the door.

My wife is the most important, not my position as the Alpha. This child would have meant the world to her and I acted like a complete jerk to her to the very idea that we would have a pup. It takes every ounce of willpower I have left to remain in the same position and not storm in after her. She needed her space, she nodded to come to terms with the fact that she wasn't pregnant.


But, why wasn't she? We definitely didn't try to hinder the possibility of pregnancy even though I knew we should have if we were going to be busy protecting our territory. She should be pregnant by now, shouldn't she? It was only natural with us not using any protection, could there be a problem? Maybe it was the stress she had been under or both of us have been under lately. I know that it can affect the body in many ways, possibly it could hinder her from getting pregnant.

Actually, if I could remember correctly, there was a woman years ago. She was one of our Omegas that lost her child. She was seven months gone when one of our neighborhood Packs attacked, her mate left to defend our borders while she was to remain behind to bring the child to term. The battle took days, weeks before it had finished. She was so completely stressed and anxious during those moments that she was forced into labor prematurely. Her stress had exacerbated the pregnancy and she gave birth a month and a half early. The pup made it through as well as I the mother. When her husband returned, he found her holding their child. He was very happy and fell at her feet.

I don't remember it all too clearly since I was young then but it was the first time I had seen such a tense situation. The entire Pack was in an uproar, running around to try and figure out a way to stop the labor. Then it turned out that they were able to keep both the mother and the child safe.

That could be why Elena is having difficulty getting pregnant. The career of Luna is her life, it is more than a title, it is who she is. She never gets to step down and she has the burden of the entire Pack on her shoulder as I do though it is the weight of two packs, double the amount of mouths to feed and squabble to douse.

But if she wasn't stressed, I would be worried. I need to speak with Liam, Elena should be safe for pregnancy and if we are going to try in the future, I want to make sure that it isn't me who has an issue. Elena is brilliant, strong, and healthy and she wants this pup more than anything. I swallowed the lump of guilt choking me and gently placed the negative pregnancy strip test on the side of the hallway. She deserves to be happy, to have all that she wants in life. Even if I don't believe we are ready, it is more than I am simply terrified of the idea of watching over an infant, of something so tiny and fragile.

As I pivoted away, I had to clear my throat before the emotions had risen to my eyes. I cannot allow Elena to suffer. I have to find out if there is something else going on that is more than just stress. I have never pregnanted anyone even though I never protected myself or my partners from it. The very thought that I could be what is wrong has a sharp agony pinching my heart.

If it's so, Elena deserves to know, to be given the option of what to do next. If I can't give her children, what then? I knew she wouldn't leave me, our love and mate bond was strong but what of her dream of having children? Of having someone to care for, raise, and love. No, I need to do what is best for both of us.

It didn't take me long to remove myself from our house and walk down the street to Liam's office. He was surprised to see me but once he laid his intelligent gaze upon me, my words died on my tongue.

Was I really going to tell him everything? Bare my possible weakness to a member of my own pack? An Alpha must be strong, fierce, and healthy and no sign of weakness is allowed. But Liam is understanding, he is one of my advisors and he would do this against me. Even if he wanted to, his ethical code as a doctor wouldn't allow him to do so. He would lose all credibility with his patients and with the Pack.

"Alpha Bernard, what brings you down to my office today?"

He stood at his desk, leaning against the front end. His arms were folded but his gaze was open and welcoming. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing escaped. What do I even say? He cocked his head to the side, eyeing my change of expression. I am sure he won't be expecting what I am going to ask of him, how could he? I have to push down my ego and pride as Alpha and force the words out.

"Liam, I need to run some tests." The space between his eyebrows crumpled with confusion.

"What kind of test? Are you alright?" He pushed off the counter and took a few steps forward.

"Are you sick or injured?"

"No, nothing like that."

How terrifying is it that I have just averted my gaze? Alpha's gaze, from Liam? Should I really tell him what I am worried about?

"What is it?" His question was spoken with kindness and the doctor warmth that he has perfected over the years.

"Elena thought she was pregnant." Now his brow shot up, eyes wide.

"Oh, okay. That's good, right? Wait, you thought?" I am only able to nod, come on; I just need to say it once, right?

"She thought she was pregnant and I took it terribly. She took a test and she is not pregnant."

"Okay."

I know he is wondering why I am bringing this up to him, so am I to be honest?

"Liam, I need to know if there is anything that is causing her not to get pregnant."

It was only a heartbeat but the silence screamed, stabbing my eardrums as we stared at each other. He then nodded but his eyes were still wide.

"Oh, I see. You aren't using protection and you are worried that she is not getting pregnant because of something with you?"

"What else could it be if we weren't actively stopping a pregnancy, shouldn't it have already happened?"

I hated to say the last part because it brings the possibility of inadequacy into the air. I could be the issue, I could be stopping Elena from having the family she wants.

He sighed and remained silent for what felt like hours. Was he going to tell me that it was quite possible? That I could be the reason for it all? What would Elena do if I couldn't give her everything?

"There is nothing wrong with you, Bernard." He finally stated.

"How do you know if you don't run the test?"

"Because I have already run them before you ever found Elena."

"What?" Why would he have done a thing like that?

"You were with Ivory and then others which was fine for a young wolf to do but I was worried that you would end up with an unexpected pup in the midst of searching for your mate. So I ran some tests to check your level and the potency of your body." I couldn't take the anticipation.

"And?"

"You were completely fine, I am actually surprised that you weren't able to have an unwanted pregnancy with one of the women. You are healthy and should be giving Elena a plethora of pups." He chuckled.

"Don't worry so much about it, it takes time. Elena must be in the right window of her cycle for the embryo to stick. There is nothing wrong with you, just wrong timing."

The relief that washed over my shoulder and all but yanked my legs out from underneath me had my heart laughing up into my throat.

So, I am not the problem, she is not pregnant because it wasn't the right time, that's good. That means we will have children someday when it is the right time.

Yet my mind wanders back to my wife and the anguish in her harsh gaze. She was hopeful, happy, and excited to have a pup and I took that initial glimmer of hope away by my reaction.

How can I make this right?