Chapter 188: I wanted Peace
Chapter 188: I Want Peace
Elena
I was in and out of sleep for the remainder of the day. Liam had been right, the pain in my neck was horrible. If I didn't have the morphine running in my veins then sleep was a distant dream.
When I finally woke up, the room was empty. Bernard had gone out to talk to some of his trackers, Mathew was still a huge threat in the Pack and my mate wanted to make sure that we were all safe.
He told me not to worry but I couldn't help but worry. My heart was in a constant state of anxiety, Liam had said that it had more to do with the attack and with time it would ease but for now, I would just have to adjust to it. A knock sounded on my door.
"Come in," I said, sitting up on my bed. Jasper walked in with a bouquet of flowers.
"Luna." He inclined his head, I waved him off.
"Jasper, I think we can count ourselves as friends. You don't have to greet me formally anymore." He nodded.
He walked over to my bedside and set the flowers down, he turned to look at me. His eyes were filled with sorrow as he looked at my bandaged neck and the cuts all long my arms. I probably looked like I had been in a fight and was on the losing side.
Doris had been kind enough to not mention my appearance but I knew that I looked horrendous, I hadn't seen my reflection and I didn't want to. I just wanted to heal and get back to being myself again.
"How are you feeling?" He shook his head.
"That was a dumb question to ask, of course, you aren't feeling good. You are in the hospital bed."
"It is okay, Jasper. To answer your question, I am fine. I may not look fine but mentally I think I am okay. Nicholas was a threat we hadn't thought would return and now he is finally gone."
"And how do you feel about that? You know with having to kill him and everything."
I thought over his question for a moment because, in all actuality, I didn't know how I felt. There was this gnawing guilt that I felt because of Doris but then there was another part that was at peace. Nicholas was the second person I had killed, the first was Richard. I had no regrets when it came to Richard, he had done too much for me to feel remorse towards him. He had ended so many lives, all in the name of greed and power.
But with Nicholas, it was different. He may have plotted to have us all killed but he was no murderer. Nicholas was just the product of toxic parenting, hatred and jealousy had been instilled in him from such a young age, he knew no better.
"The one I am worried about in this whole situation is Doris. He was her brother after all. I know that she is the one who turned in as a traitor but that doesn't make him any less of her brother then than it did now. She told me she is fine but I don't know if I fully believe her."
"Doris was here?" He asked, shocked and I nodded.
"Didn't she tell you that she was coming here? She actually came a few hours ago?" He nodded silently, his eyebrows furrowed as he went deep into thought about something. Was something bothering him the same way something was bothering Doris?
"What is it?" His eyes snapped to me.
"Sorry?"
"Something is going on in your mind and I want to help you, so spill it. What is going on Jasper? Is this about Doris?"
"I don't want to bore you with my problems, Elena. You have enough on your plate with healing."
"Nonsense, you can tell me whatever you need to tell me, Jasper. I am all ears and I want to help you and her." He looked uncertain for a moment.
"A problem shared is a problem half solved." I batted my eyelashes at him offering him a small smile. That earned me a ghost of a smile and it was enough to break his hardened exterior.
"I don't know if she mentioned it to you, Doris and I are now dating. We decided to take the leap and just do it." I nodded silently, allowing him to finish.
"And it has been great, I loved being with her, she is like this shot of espresso. Everything about her awakens every cell in my body, I was half living before her. In fact, I don't even know how I functioned without her." The smile playing on his lips had me blushing as well.
"I love her so much, Elena. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thought I have before I sleep. She makes life seem doable, she makes it all worth it, you know? I mean, of course, you know, you have Bernard. Doris and I may not be fated but our connection sure feels like destiny. It was inevitable for both of us, there was no version of the story where we wouldn't end up together. I would choose her in any world, in any dimension, and any lifetime."
There was a distance to his eyes, he was there in the room with me but his mind wasn't really here. It has carried him to a faraway place and I was sure that place included my fiery friend, Doris.
"So, what is the problem then?"
His eyes returned to the moment and he stared at me confused for a while before realization hit him.
"I worry that she will try to self-sabotage this because she feels we are too good to be true but that isn't it at all. I love and want to be with her for the rest of my life, there is no other woman out there for me." My face split into a huge smile and my cheeks began to hurt.
"Did you buy a ring, Jasper?" He nodded, looking away feeling a little shy.
"Do you have it?" I gasped and he shook his head, my excitement deflated a little. I had wanted to see the ring but it was okay, I am still excited at the fact that there was even a ring to begin with.
"I can't believe that you are going to marry Doris." I could feel the tears already welling in my eyes.
"She is going to get that happy ever after she had wanted so badly. So do you have it all planned out?"
"Yes," he nodded.
"I have even enlisted the help of your husband." I gasped.
"You told Bernard before me?"
"To be fair, you were unconscious and Bernard is one of my best friends."
"Okay, fair play. Anyways, congratulations." I opened my arms and he crouched down to give me a hug.
"I always knew you two would find your way to each other. It took you guys a little while but at least you found each other." He pulled away from me and smiled.
"I think this was exactly how our story was supposed to go. We did need the little push you gave us, even though at that time, it felt like a shove. We both needed it so we could face our feelings head-on."
"I wish Bernard was here to hear you say that. He told me that my meddling was making things worse but lo and behold, it was the catalyst that pushed everything forward." He chuckled.
"I will mention it to him next time I see him. I only wanted to check on you and see how you are doing. I need to head back to Bernard, we need to discuss defense protocols."
"Defense protocols?" I was tense.
"It is just standard procedure, there is nothing for us to worry about at the present moment. We are still monitoring Matthew's situation but as of now, we are good. So you don't have to worry."
I wasn't fully convinced but I just nodded either way, worrying it would get me nowhere except to slow my healing process.
Jasper left shortly after, leaving all alone in the room once again. It wasn't before I fell asleep but even when I was asleep, my mind was plagued with nightmares. Liam had told me I would probably have nightmares for the first week or two as my brain worked through the trauma. Eventually, they would stop and I would go back to normality.
All I wanted for my Pack and myself was peace, it felt like we had been on constant high alert for so long that I forgot what peace felt like.
I only prayed that Mathew's situation got sorted out quickly, I was more than ready to put everything behind us and begin a new peace filled chapter.
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