Breaking you in
*Content Warning: Physical violence is depicted in this chapter and may be triggering for some readers. *
I reeled back as if I’d been struck. My legs became wobbly and I could feel the room begin to spin. I stumbled back but Ethan held me tight. This was news. This was the news. It didn’t make any sense, none of it, and my mind ran a mile a minute as I tried to fit the pieces together that just didn’t fit. He wasn’t an heir, he was a bastard. I knew everything there was to know about him, or at least I thought I did. I’d always known he was a bastard because of his hair. I’ve known since the first time I met him that day long ago.
The day when he dropped the bag of potatoes and I looked down my nose at the handsome boy who scrambled for the spuds that had fallen and rolled out. As a young girl, it didn’t matter because he was my friend, my only friend. As a young woman, his parentage didn’t mean anything because I loved him.
When Ethan said I would see a familiar face at the alpha’s table I thought the person I knew would be alpha. I didn’t know he meant the new Alpha. I had no clue and honestly, I never would have guessed. This was news. This was shocking news. This was something I could grab onto. This was dangerous and I saw it for what it was, and as I looked up into Ethan’s cold green eyes, I knew he did too.
If he was the new Alpha, it meant there was a sliver of hope. It meant I could grab onto this small bit of hope. Couldn’t I? I could let it change things, I could hope for him. Hope was all I had. The urge to wait for him, my need to believe that he had finally accomplished what he mentioned the night of my coming-of-age party. My wish for him to come back to me could come to fruition and my strength could be rejuvenated. At least, I could hope.
And now I knew why he had come here. I now understood why he was here. The news made him so angry that he ran all the way here. Because he wanted to look into my eyes when he delivered the news and I found out. He wanted to see what I would decide, he had to know if I would continue to fight against him or if I would finally give in to him and accept my fate. He was curious to know if I would accept my place here by his side in his pack.
Something bloomed in my chest and my heartbeat fluttered. I didn’t have to ask myself what I would do. I wouldn’t need to contemplate it, there wouldn’t be an internal struggle. I’d already suffered through that this month here. This would be the easiest decision I’ve made since I’ve been on Crimson Moon territory. Regardless of what Ethan thinks, regardless of what he would do, regardless of what he would see reflected in my eyes. I already knew.
Fight.
I would fight.
One hundred times over and over again, I would fight. It didn’t matter how many times he hurt me.
No matter how many times he touched me.
How many times he broke my body.
It didn’t matter how many times he tried to break my soul.
Because I had already decided.
I would keep fighting.
“I hate that look in your eye,” Ethan murmured.
His hands gripped my shoulders and pushed me toward the windows. He shoved me against the cold wall, I threw my hands out to break the fall, but my head smashed against the glass. He kicked my legs apart and my body started to shake with the thought of what was to come.
“I don’t want to see your face. He pisses me off. You piss me off,” Ethan growled.
I pushed off against the window and tried to turn around to face him. He stopped me and shoved me against the wall again. This time my chest slammed against the glass and I cut my lip as my mouth banged against the window. He pulled his belt free and lifted my nightgown. I cried out as the bite of leather slapped against my backside. I bit down on my bleeding lip to stop the screams as the belt came down harder and harder with each strike. It wasn’t until I felt the blood as it dripped down my backside that he stopped. His breathing came out haggard as he stared at the mess he’d created. There was a thump as the belt fell to the floor by my side. I wanted nothing more than to pick it up and wrap it around his neck.
“You may not bear my mark, Adealine, but you are mine. I will mark you in multiple different ways before you take my mark. The Luna Ceremony is next week, but with this news, I might have to push the date up. I wouldn’t want to confuse other men. We wouldn’t want others to think they still had a chance with you, would we?” Ethan asked.
“Fuck you,” I spat.
“There’s my girl. All you had to do was ask,” Ethan chuckled.
“I’m not your fucking girl,” I barked.
I jerked away from him and tried to make a run for it, but he expected that. His hands grabbed both of mine and he yanked me backward. Pain shot up my arm to where it connected to my shoulder. I yelped as he forced me against the window again. He brought both of my hands behind my back and gripped them tight with one of his hands. The sound of material shredding the jerk of it being pulled told me he had ripped the back of my dress. I could feel a chill dance across my bare skin. His free hand came down on my bloodied cheek and I bit back the sob that almost slipped through my defenses.
“I knew you hadn’t given up on him yet,” Ethan sneered in my ear. “Breaking you is only half the fun.”