Hate
Author's Note: If you would like to read a short story of what happened while Adea was asleep, check out my P A T R E O N. F o l l o w me on I G for more deets. @ jp__sina
Somehow, someway, I found myself in front of my door at Goddess knows what hour. I don’t know how I got here and I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at the handle. My best friend is on the other side, hopefully sleeping. My mind is a tornado of thoughts and my heart is filled with a hurricane of emotions. I know he’s hold me and let me cry it out but I hate worrying him. He appears strong for me but any whiff of sadness and despair and he won’t stop until he finds out where it’s coming from. That’s the last thing I want from him. I don’t want Shane to find out about Gabe and misunderstand. I doesn’t matter who he is to me, I wouldn’t let him or anyone else hurt my best friend.
Swallowing, I wonder what the chances are that I can get to my room without being seen. I could sprint to my room as soon as I opened the door, but I’d probably break an ankle and wake Gabe. There’s still a couple of hours until he has to leave for his shift, so I’m hoping he’s asleep. Taking a deep breath, I call upon a confidence I definitely don’t have, grab the door handle and turn it. The lights are on and I do a visual sweep of the apartment, noting fruit and vegetables all over the floor, dishes in the sink, and pots on the stove. Inhaling, my eyes roll into my head as the aroma of a home cooked meal reaches my nose. I scent a visitor and a smile slowly spreads across my face. It’s the same scent as yesterday and I know who that is. They’re probably both knocked out or blissed out.
There’s no one in sight and I thank the Goddess for my luck. I tiptoe as elegantly as I can in my work heels. The floor creaks and I freeze as I strain to hear any noise that may signal Gabe getting up. When it remains quiet, I take another step forward as quietly as I can, I put one perfectly manicured foot in front of the other. I rush as quietly as possible to my room, and close the door as quietly as possible behind me. Kicking one stiletto at a time, I drop a good foot to the ground and wriggle my toes against my soft rug before I head to my bathroom. I drop my jacket and the sound of my footsteps as they pad behind me is the only noise on our floor. I close the door behind me and lean against it with all of my weight. Now that I’m alone, I let out a shaky breath. I’m still in shock after everything that happened at work. That was not the night I had expected to have. I met my mate, let him take me over and over again, watched him break Donny’s arm, and got mauled by his wolf before he dismissed me like a cheap whore.
Pushing my head back against the door and closed my eyes as images of him taking me flooded my mind. The feel of him as he thrust inside of me, filled me, ripped me open. The effect his seductive words had on me and the way my body lit up for him, the way it was lighting up for him even now. I’m mad at him for not treating me better, angry at him for telling me I was nothing but a warm hole for him, and mad at myself still liking him. My stupid body hums at the memory of his lips on me and the memory of his fat cock is engraved in my head. Goddess. My thighs clench and my nipples harden, despite the ache I still feel between my legs. Opening my eyes, I push off the door and turn to the mirror, needing to face the woman reflected in it. Thoroughly fucked. That’s all that comes to my mind as I come face to face with myself. My makeup is smeared, streams of dried tears and mascara paint my cheeks, and my lipstick is everywhere but on my lips. My eyes are wide and filled with satisfaction and shock.
Turning from my reflection, I turn on the shower and give it time to warm up as I turn back to the mirror. I watch as I reach up and slowly push off my sequin top and pull down what’s left of my tattered skirt. Thank the Goddess Gabe didn’t see me. He’d raise heaven and hell if he saw me like this. The sound of rushing water filled my mind as I realized just how calm I am about the way I was just treated. I don’t want to be the woman that accepts being told she’s nothing.
Mentally shaking my head as I turn from the woman staring back at me and check the water. I should not be feeling so nonchalant about him taking me without my permission. I shouldn’t be okay with how all of my morals went out the window when I climbed on his lap. Disappointing. I sighed. I can’t even be angry about that part because I liked it. I liked it a hell of a lot more than I should have and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to do it again. If I was being honest with myself, the wolfish parts of me wanted to crawl into bed with his scent all over me and wrap a blanket around myself so that none of it would escape. Inhaling, my body relaxed as I breathed in him, him, him. I was too pleased with him claiming and coming on my face and body. I wanted to chalk it up to my wolf but I couldn’t even put all of the blame on her. The thought of falling asleep with his scent surrounding me made me happier than it damn should.