Devil
“Listen to me! I didn’t want to hurt you, Adea, even though deep down, that’s what I want to do. I want to hurt you. I want to see you cry. I want to make you bleed. I’m a sick man, Adea. I’m sick and disturbed. There’s so much you don’t know about me. You don’t know how I can be or what I’m like. I’m a different man with you.”
“So you’re not yourself. This isn’t who you are? Then who are you? If you’re not Shane, if you’re not the man I know, then who are you?” I asked.
“I’m the devil.”
“Goddess. Do you hear yourself? For fucks sake, LET. ME. GO.”
“No. I’m not letting you go. I’m never letting you go. You’ll never be free of me.”
I’m crying now. My heart and mind are at war with each other. I want to tell him to fuck off. I want to tell him to get out of my room. Hell, I want to push him from my window. But at the same time, I want to hold him close. I want to climb into his arms. I want to cry on his shoulder. I want to mark him and I want him to mark me. I want to make him mine. I want to keep him here and never let him go. I hate him. I hate him so much but Goddess, I love him. I love him so fucking much.
“Why? Why couldn’t you wait for me? Why couldn’t I make you feel good? Was I not good?” I cried.
“It’s not that I couldn’t wait for you. I was trying… I was trying to be kinder. I was trying to be gentle with you. I didn’t have to be that way with them. I could hurt them, break them, throw them to the ground and not care about how they were after. I only love you. I only care for you.”
“Love? How can you speak of love, Shane? How can you speak of love and fucking someone else in the same sentence?!” I screamed. I needed to be quiet but I didn’t care. I was hurt and I was losing it. His hand clamped over my mouth and stifled my yelling.
“Goddess. Quiet. You’re going to get us caught.”
My tears were streaming down my face as I glared up at him. The asshole. I wanted him gone. I didn’t want him here. I needed to be alone.
“You’ve made me feel good. You’ve made me feel really good, Adea. I only want what you can give me but… I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to make you bleed. I needed to get it out so I didn’t hurt you.” My words were muffled by his hand. He moved it and I said the words.
“What if I want you to hurt me? What if you’ve underestimated me? What if I can take what you have to give out?” I asked.
“Oh, love. I’m sure you could,” he said as he pushed a strand behind my ear. “the issue is… I don’t want you to look at me differently. I don’t want to see the same look in your eyes that I’ve seen in the others. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to see what I really am.”
“What?” I asked.
“A monster, Adea. I’m a monster.”
“You’re not,” I start.
“I am and if I were to show you that side of me and you were to hate me. It wouldn’t matter because I’m a selfish man, Adea. I wouldn’t be able to let you go. I can’t let you go. I wouldn’t be able to let you be free of me. I’d keep you close, I’d keep you near, and I’d make you cry. I’d make you cry and I’d love every second of it.”
I swallowed.
“You are good. You’re so fucking good. Too good. I don’t want to taint you. I’m sorry you had to find out. I never wanted you to find out.”
“So it was you? Just this morning when you had me last night?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“You don’t want to know, Adea.”
“I do.”
“Trust me, you don’t.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Tell me.”
Shane took a deep breath. His hand wrapped around my throat as he picked me up and carried me over to the bed. He put me on the edge and dropped to his feet in front of me. He looked up at me and the look in his eye had me forgetting how to breathe. The look was predatory.
“I thought of you the whole time,” he murmured.
I shouldn’t have shivered, I shouldn’t have liked that. I shouldn’t have enjoyed hearing he thought of me while he took someone else. My heart was racing and I fought the urge to squeeze my thighs together.
“I didn’t have time this morning but I woke up hard. I couldn’t get off no matter how much I tried. I didn’t have much time but I ran into one of the girls I’ve been with before. She knows what I like. I sat in the Alpha’s seat and I flipped her so she wasn’t looking at me. She was facing the door. I slammed her down hard on my cock while my claws dug into her flesh. One on her breast, the other on her hip. She cried out but I didn’t stop. She was forced to take every inch of me while she bled. Her hands were tied behind her back with one of the cloths from the kitchen. Her legs were on both sides of the armrests as I lifted her and dropped her on my hard cock over and over again. Her mouth hung open and I bit into her back as she came. I thought of you as I pulled her hair. I thought of you as she pleaded for me to stop as I brought her to orgasm over and over again. I thought of your soft lips on my cock as I took her hard and fast. It was your name on my lips when I came.”
“Goddess,” I gasped.
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