Waited
Adea
Mave’s eyes were on Alpha, her eyes wide, her pupils blown. There was something in the air and I wasn’t sure what it was. She didn’t move, she just took deep inhales of breath. Alpha’s hand on my back stopped moving and his claws extended. His eyes flashed and I knew whatever it was had his wolf pushing forward.
I don’t know what it was and I tried to look around the room. There was nothing that alerted me to trouble. If I hadn’t felt his claws against my back I would have sworn I’d imaged it. Beta Odis only confirmed my suspicions when he leaned close. His eyes on Alpha as he tried to calmly remind him where we were and what we were doing.
Alpha Rich stood to his feet and announced that they would be voting. The majority would win. He asked each pack to state their choice. One by one the alpha’s announced that they didn’t have an issue with the new alpha. It came down to Alpha. His face was a mask of indifference as he leaned back in his seat. His hand firmly placed on top of mine, his eyes focused solely on the man in front of us. He announced he had no problem with the new alpha as he smiled.
Next, they discussed the alliances and I tuned them out. While they spoke of business, pack lines, and laws I took this opportunity to study him. He was distracted, answering questions and firing his own their way that he wasn’t looking at me. I didn’t mind, it felt as if I had waited months for him. I didn’t want to admit it and after today I don’t know if I would ever admit it. Not to him, not to anyone, but it was true.
I had waited.
Everyday that passed I waited. Because I knew, because I hoped that he was out there in the world. Still living. Still breathing. Now that I knew he was, a hopelessness started to creep in. I would not be able to have him, I wouldn’t be able to see him outside of these meetings. My heart wept, I needed to step outside, away from here. I needed a minute, a moment to ground myself to this reality.
“I need to relieve myself,” I whispered.
Alpha looked down at me, his eyes angry, the suspicion in his eyes was clear. It meant nothing to me, nor did it bother me. I didn’t live to serve him, despite what he thought. He considered me for a minute then turned to Odis. Their eyes glazed over and Odis nodded before standing to his feet.
“Let’s go, Luna. I will escort you,” Beta Odis said.
He walked around to my seat and offered me his arm. I had no choice but to take it. He pulled me to my feet and led me out. I didn’t say a word as he asked the warrior outside the hall for directions. We walked towards the nearest powder room and told me he would be stationed outside waiting for me.
I grabbed a cloth and wet it. I pressed it against my chest and neck. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. It was empty and I wouldn’t have to worry about someone seeing me out of it here. I didn’t have to pretend here, but I couldn’t let myself be weak. The sounds of conversation outside caught my attention and I straightened up. I continued to pat myself with the cool cloth as someone opened the door. My eyes widened as they locked on Mave.
“What are you doing her?” I asked.
“I had no choice. It was now or never,” Mave whispered. She walked up to me and looked back over her shoulder. When she was sure no one was there, nor was anyone coming in she spoke again. “Greetings Luna,” Mave said loudly.
“Greetings, Beta. Congratulations on your rank,” I said loudly.
My eyebrows furrowed and my forehead wrinkled as I tried to ask her what was going on. She fumbled in her waistcoat pocket and stared at the paper she pulled out. It had been folded at least four times and she forced it into my hands.
“You’re too gracious. It’s an honor to serve my alpha and my pack,” Mave said loudly.
“Of course, as is your duty. Still, I give thanks for the work you are doing for women. You are taking the first step in the direction to bring us higher,” I said loudly. We hadn’t meant to have this conversation, but I meant it all the same. Mave bowed.
“If you’ll excuse me. I must go,” she said.
“Indeed,” I said.
I tried to open the letter, I was eager to read it’s contents. It had to be from him, it just had to. She reached forward and grasped my hand in hers. I looked up and stared into her gray eyes. She shook her head and mouthed for me to read it later. Disappointment washed over me, but I nodded.
I stashed the letter into one of the pockets Gabriel had sown into the dress for me. I put the wash cloth down and made my way out of the powder room. Odis stood outside just as he said. He gave me a look that said he didn’t believe whatever that was back there, but I said nothing. I didn’t have to explain anything to him and I didn’t need to tell him anything either. I wanted to read it, but knew I couldn’t.
When I walk back into the hall no one pays me any mind. No one, but him. I make my way to my seat and Alpha’s hand caresses my cheek for a moment. I don’t move away, I don’t flinch, I show no reaction. He leans in and whispers, knowing everyone will hear, that he can’t wait to get me home and get these clothes off of me.
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