Good news
Adea
The fire in the fireplace flickered, but I felt cold as I waited to hear what the doctor had to say. He placed my hand on my lap and released me. I took a shaky breath as I looked up into his unseeing eyes. I wanted, no needed to know as much as I didn’t.
“Please,” I whisper.
“You are not with child,” Doctor James announced.
“Thank the Goddess,” I sighed.
I curled my hands into balls and slumped where I sat. I knew the chances of hearing that I was with child were high. A wave of relief washed over me and I took a deep breath and exhaled, thankful for the lack of news. I doubt I could stomach having to carry Ethan’s child. I glance over to Beta Odis to find his eyes glazed over. I wanted to laugh, instead, I settled for smirking.
Good. I’m glad he’s telling his alpha the good news.
I watched Odis’ face to see if I could see his features change with his alpha’s reaction to the good news. While he was distracted, Doctor James leaned close, feeling his warmth I turned back to face him. He gripped the table and I swallowed as I looked at him.
“Had you been with child and you didn’t want to be, I would be willing to help you,” Doctor James said.
My brow furrowed and my eyes widened as I realized what he was saying. I turned slightly to look at Odis, my eyes darted to where he stood by the door, his eyes still glazed over. I returned my focus to Doctor James and leaned in as much as I could without touching him.
“What you speak of could get you killed,” I whispered.
“It’s what would be right. If you require my help, all you need to do is ask,” Doctor James said. He turned his head an inch in the direction where Odis stands and turns back to me. “If you require help… to leave this world… I could assist you in that as well.”
He just told me he would help me expel the child from my body and help me escape this hellhole the only way possible. We both know, as much as everyone else in this packhouse, that I will never be free of Ethan. The only way to be free of him is death.
Tears fill my eyes and bead on my lashes. Other than my meeting with Gabriel and his promise to help me, this is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. Over the last few weeks I’ve begun to feel lower than I’ve ever felt before. I’ve felt hopeless before, but this is an all time low.
Taking my life was never an option before I came here, but now that I’ve had the time to spend time and get used to my new “life”. I’ve found that I tiptoe around the thought of taking my own life. I’ve grown accustomed to my life in my tower, Ethan’s visits, and expectations of me.
As much as I wanted to find a way out, as much as I hoped for a way to be free of him. I shook my head. I knew the chances of me seeing a day outside of this pack without Ethan were extremely low. Doctor James can’t see me, but I smile.
I take his hand in mine and squeeze it. I don’t know him that well, he’s still a stranger, but for the second time today I find myself in the company of a friend. I know by the look on his face that he means it, despite the danger, despite the severity of the situation, his offer is genuine.
I won’t accept his offer to end my life, I fully believe him capable of following through with it. There’s a part of me that will always wait for him, there’s a part of me that hopes he’ll still come back for me, and because of that I can’t leave this world. But knowing that the doctor’s offer is there, and knowing that there is a way for me to leave this hell is comforting. The Beta cleared his throat behind us and I dropped his hand.
“Thank you,” I said.
After Doctor James tested and checked me, he notified Beta Odis of my condition. I sat there like a child as the doctor answered questions given to Odis by the Alpha. I’m glad the Alpha tasked Odis with the questions instead of attending himself. I was thankful he didn’t sit in himself.
The appointment quickly wrapped up and Doctor James informed Odis of when he needed to see me next. Before leaving, I looked back at the doctor, today I had made a new friend.
Beta Odis led me from one appointment to the next, which I attended physically. Mentally, I was elsewhere. I couldn’t stay in the present, I couldn’t focus, and I couldn’t stop thinking about my visit with Doctor James.
What would I have done if Doctor James told me I had been with child?
Would I have accepted his offer to lose the child?
Would I have declined it and kept a child I didn’t want, or ask for?
Would I have been able to live this life carrying my captor’s child?
Could I have loved it?
Would I have been able to have it, knowing Shane might look at me differently?
If I kept it… would I have a right to keep waiting for him?
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