Honor
Thunder rolled and lightning crashed, ripping me from sleep. There was a warm body by my side and I sighed. Thank Goddess. He came. I don’t know when I fell asleep. Looking outside, it was pitch black. The moon and stars barely shone through the angry clouds. The candle by my bed had long gone out. How long had I been asleep? The thunder flashed again and I came face to face with Shane. He was looking down at me and I lifted my chin to look up into his eyes. Lightning flashed and lit up the room again.
Goddess. His hair was soaked and dripping. His shirt was gone and so were his pants. Was he naked? I dared not look down. I stared up into his eyes as he looked down at me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’ve been sitting here. Staring at you.”
“How long have you been here?” I asked.
“Not long.”
“There’s something I want to tell you,” I started.
“There’s something I want to tell you too. You go first.”
“I want to do something.”
He just stared at me. He didn’t say anything so I went on.
“What’s the one thing Ethan wants? Besides me?” I asked.
Still, he didn’t speak.
“He wants my purity. He wants my virginity. He wants to claim it for himself when it belongs to my mate.”
Shane gritted his teeth. He was angry and I wasn’t sure if it was because of Ethan or the mention of my mate. I silently hoped it was because of both.
“I don’t want to give him what he wants. I want to give it to someone I want. I want to choose.”
Shane’s eyes widened as he stared at me.
“You’re not… you’re not that girl, Adea.”
“What girl, Shane? I don’t get to choose what kind of girl I am. The only choice I get to make is seeing you and even then, it’s only in secret. I can be that girl. I can be the girl that gets to choose.”
“And how would you choose?” Shane asked.
“I would choose. Does it matter who it is?” I asked.
“Yes. It does.”
I leaned in until I could feel his body heat. I leaned in until I could feel his breath on my face. He didn’t flinch as I reached for him. Nerves made me jittery and my fingers shook before connecting with his muscular arm. I ran my hand down until I intertwined my fingers with his.
“I choose you. I want you to be the one who claims me. I want you to be the one who owns me. I want you to be the one who makes me feel good, so good that I can’t think of anything or anyone else. I want you to take my virginity. I want you to stake your claim on me. I want you to have what he’ll never have.”
“Adea,” Shane groans. I lean forward and kiss him.
“I want you to have me. Tonight.” I hear him audibly gulp.
“Adea,” he warned.
I move closer until my breasts are flat against his hard one. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean up to kiss him again. He says my name again and I smile against his lips.
“Yes, Shane?” I ask.
“What are you doing?” He asks.
“Didn’t you hear me? I told you I want you. I told you I want to give you what I have. I want to be yours tonight.”
“You are mine, Adea,” he mumbles as he leans down and kisses me. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me into the air. I wrap my legs around his waist and gasp as his hard length presses against my wet, warm center. Tonight’s the night. I’m going to do it. I rub against him as I drag my hips into circular motions. We did this last night but it feels different tonight. There’s less clothing between us, fewer barriers, and we’re alone in a bolted room. I don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on us or finding us. Not that I was worried last night but tonight is safer. Tonight we are safe.
I drag my nails down his neck and muscular arms. He groans and I tease him more by pressing my breasts against him. There’s no shame, no worry, no care tonight. I’ve blocked out the outside world. He pushes me down until my back is flush against the bed. He’s on top of me and I swallow as his hard length rests on my belly. Goddess, he’s big. We’ve never talked about it but I know that Shane isn’t a virgin. He’s been with a lot of girls. I’m not an idiot but I don’t care. I want him and I know he wants me.
I widen my legs but he groans.
“Stop that,” he chuckles.
“What? This?” I asked as I rubbed myself against his hard length.
“Yes, that,” he said.
“I don’t want to.”
“I’m trying to be a man of honor,” Shane grumbles.
“I don’t want you to be a man of honor. I want you to be the man who fucks me.”
“Goddess. Why do you tempt me so?”
“I told you I wanted you to take me, Shane. So fucking take me, fucking take what’s yours” I demand.
“No,” Shane said flatly.
“What?” I asked. I tried to push him away but it was useless. As useless as trying to push a brick wall. He wouldn’t budge. “Why not?” I asked.
“Because I’m not going to take your virginity.”
“Not ever?” I asked.
“Not now.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you’re special.”
“Why don’t you just admit that you don’t want to be with me, Shane? Just say it! It’s bullshit. I know you’ve been with other women. So why not me?” I asked.
“Adea… my tastes… run dark. I want things a certain way and I can’t… I can’t do those things with you. Not now, not yet.”
“Then when? Do you expect me to wait for you? You can’t. Not when you’re sleeping with other women!”
“I won’t sleep with other women if that’s what you want. I’ll stay away from them,” Shane promised.
“I don’t believe you,” I cried. “If you won’t take me, I’ll give myself to someone else.”
At that, he growled. His anger was evident as his grip on my arms tightened. He lifted my hands above my head and held me down. His body caged me in from above. I wriggled as I tried to get free. Leaning down he pressed his forehead to mine.
“I’m trying to do that right thing, Adea. I won’t share you with anyone else. I don’t care if you’re intended for someone else and I don’t care if the world says you don’t belong to me. I don’t care if the Goddess herself molded that pathetic excuse of an Alpha for you. YOU ARE MINE, ADEA.”
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