Implode
He takes another step closer and my world threatens to implode. I want nothing more than to scratch Ethan’s eyes out and run to Shane. I hate knowing that he could be misunderstanding this whole situation. When have I ever wanted Ethan? When have I ever wanted to be with him? A union? Anger bubbles and threatens to spill over as I wonder if Shane could even know me if he thinks that this is what I could want. I turn from him and Ethan follows me back to my seat. When I’m seated, I search for him in the crowd. My shoulders sag slightly. I don’t know if I should be worried or thankful that I can’t find him. Nevertheless, I let out a deep breath of relief when I don’t find him.
My father grabs the goblet from the platter a servant offers him. He lifts it in the air and waits until cups are raised. He goes on about unions, daughters, and the future of the pack but I block him out.
Ethan reaches over and grabs my hand. He leans back in his seat, his thumb swiping over my skin until I look at him. He’s staring at me, taking in my appearance. I watch in disgust as he adjusts himself in his seat. A smirk pulls at the corner of his lips. He caught me looking and thinks I like what I saw. I scoff. That’s the farthest from the truth.
I turn my attention forward intent on spending the rest of the night staring at the wall. My hopes are dashed when I realize that they’re not going to let me just sit here like a wallflower. I’ve zoned out for Goddess knows how long until I realize it’s quiet, too quiet. I look around and find Ethan standing by my side. He’s looking down at me expectantly, his hand open, palm up.
I look at it and back up at him. I take a deep breath and reach out. When our hands touch he pulls me to my feet. He leads me down to the floor and music starts to play. The crowd separates and Ethan pulls me into his embrace. The act is so sudden I don’t have time to put my hands up to stop myself from colliding with his chest.
I smashed headfirst into Ethan and his arms wrapped around me as if that was the most natural thing in the world. I needed to get away, but I had to do it in a way that didn’t alert everyone of my actions. I pushed away from him as gently as possible, but he pulled me back in. The music played and he swung me along to it. I felt like a rag doll and Ethan was the hand that played with me. The lights and crowd blurred as we danced and I prayed that Shane couldn’t see me. His body was hard against mine. Where Shane’s was warm and welcoming, Ethan’s was uncomfortable and not at all what I wanted.
When would this night end?
“Look at me,” Ethan said.
I don’t know when it happened but at some time during this dance, I closed my eyes. I saw nothing and felt everything. The dancing came to a stop and we were at a standstill as Ethan waited for me. I could feel his breath on my face and when I opened my eyes he leaned forward until our faces were less than an inch apart.
One of his hands from around my waist came up and his finger slid across my shoulder blade to my collar bone. I swallowed and my body broke out in goosebumps. A part of me was scared, the other part was ready to bite his finger off. His eyes glazed over and I shuddered at the way he looked at me.
“I can’t wait until I can take you home. Goddess, I’ve waited for this day since the first moment I saw you,” Ethan murmured.
“I’ve dreaded this day since the moment I knew of my father’s… intentions for us,” I said. The corners of his lips curved down and he searched my features.
“Do you hate me that much?” Ethan asked. I didn’t hesitate.
“Yes. I didn’t ask for this. At no point in time did you ask me for my hand or consider my feelings about this. Your expectation of a happily ever after with me will never happen,” I said honestly. He doesn’t speak for a moment before he pulls me into his arms and starts moving to the beat.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel right now. We have our entire lives ahead of us. I’m confident I can change your mind. I can make you love me,” Ethan said.
Looking into his eyes, I knew he actually believed that. It should have shocked me but I’ve been through enough in this lifetime, seen enough, that I’m not one bit surprised. Not only is Ethan an alphahole of a man but also delusional.
If Shane is here, if he is free, then why are we still here?
I trip as Korra’s words register. That’s right. Why am I still here? I fight the urge to look around the room and find Shane. If he’s free, we can leave, we can run away together. Korra’s earlier words about not needing anything but him flash through my mind. She was right. I slide my hands up Ethan’s chest and wrap my arms around his neck. For the first time today, I smiled from the bottom of my heart.
I’m not going anywhere with you asshole.
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