Never

Adea
Alpha didn’t do anything to me last night, he held me as I lost myself to my grief. I think that’s what messed with my mind. It was the fact that I had no choice but to lean on him. The word was bitter on my tongue, but I had no choice but to trust that he would hold me together while I cried. I think that’s what would drive me mad while I remained in these castle walls.
The damned birds chirped like it was beautiful day and we were all lucky to be alive. I turned on my side and ice froze my heart as I came face to face with a large muscular chest. I was too shocked to cry. The knowledge that I had spent the night in his arms and woke up by his side in the morning was gut wrenching. I’d done with Alpha what was only meant for him.
It was inhaling his scent with each breath that caused my eyes to burn. It was knowing that I had his scent on me because we’d shared a night together. It was knowing that he had been vulnerable and spent the night with me and it didn’t end in his death that had me cursing myself. It was knowing that today was the day of the Alpha’s Meeting and that he might be there that made my heart mourn. I felt dirty, disgusting, and ashamed.
Alpha’s eyes were on me and watched me as I panicked. After a night filled with self loathing and self pity, I wanted to spend the entire day locked away in this room, in this bed alone. I tried to lie to myself and pretend that’s what I actually wanted. A part of me did and the other part didn’t.
My heat wouldn’t lie and no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t be lied to. I hated myself for letting Alpha hold me like his most precious treasure and I hated myself more for letting him last night. I had done something wrong and I didn’t want to face what I’d done. I wanted to beg him to let me stay home. I never thought I would want to beg him for anything. I wanted to see him, but I didn’t want him to see me. I didn’t want him to see what I had become.

At what point had everything changed?
At what point had I stopped wanting to see him?
When had the idea of seeing him make me want to run for the hills?
What would I look like in his eyes?
When he saw me.. what would he see?
Would he look at me in disgust?
Would we be close, or far away?
Which one did I want?

The Beast had locked Beauty up in a tower and refuse to let her out. At least Beauty had a reason for agreeing, she switched places with her father. With only the Beast for company, is that how she eventually fell for him? Is that why? A shiver of fear licked up my spine and I wanted to empty the contents of my stomach with bile on my tongue.

I would never love Alpha.

There is nothing that he could ever do to gain my respect. My affection was something unattainable. He may be a bast, but I’m not beauty and this isn’t a fairy tale. He doesn’t love me, nor does he respect me. I won’t fall for his schemes and after everything he’s done, there isn’t even a possibility of there being anything more than what he forces to happen between us.
Even after hearing everything Alpha had to say, and even though my heart wept at the thought of him seeing us, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves. I wanted to see him. I wanted to inhale his scent. Alpha told me to keep my mouth shut, but if i could just see him, it would be enough.
“I hate seeing that look in your eye,” Alpha said.
His voice was low, husky but there was no anger, no hate. Not now at least. Not in this moment. His cool green eyes stared at me, holding me still in his gaze. I stared back at him, the two of us close enough to feel each other’s warmth, but not touching. His raised his hand and his arm dropped on my waist. I tried to hide my emotions and push them down.
“Are you that excited to see him?” Alpha asked.

That’s what this is.
He’s jealous.

“Yes,” I answer.
His grip on my hip tightens, his claws digging in, but not piercing skin. I hold his gaze and refuse to look away. Hie eyes lower to my lips and I feel his length press against my thigh. I wanted to hurt him as much as he’d hurt me. I wanted to make him feel a sliver of the pain I had gone through and still continued to go through. I didn’t kill him last night, but I could stab him through the chest with my words.
“I’m also excited to see him. I want to see the look on his face when he sees what you’ve become. I want to see if he still wants you, or if it’s disgust I see in his eyes when he sees you on my arm. I want to see if he brings someone else with him, I want to see if he’s moved on. I want to know if it’s just you still holding a candle lit for him,” Ethan said.
His voice was soothing and calm, but venomous. He grabbed the dagger I’d pointed at him and pushed it down into my chest. I didn’t bother fighting him, I let his words pierce through my heart. His fingers didn’t pierce skin, but I knew it would bruise. I looked into his eyes as a tear rolled down the side of my face. He released my hip and brought his hand to my face. His fingers swiped the tear away and he brought it to his lips. His tongue darted out and he closed his eyes as he tasted it.
“Delicious,” Alpha purred.
Alpha Shane
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