Kitten
The sound of Shane’s breathing echoed in my ears. His scent mixed with mine. I could still picture him above me, the look in his eyes while he fucked me with abandon. The low hum of the music from the club slipped beneath the door. He was still hard inside of me, my legs open, our bodies pressed together. It took everything in me not to cling to him. He lifted off of me, pulling out of me and leaving me empty. There was a void where Shane had just been and it made me feel weird. I felt unbalanced. I felt like something was wrong and I wanted him to come back, to stay with me.
I wanted more. My fingers trembled, and I cursed when I felt moisture at the corners of my eyes. I tried with all the strength I had left to make it go away. I took deep, slow breaths as I tried to calm myself. His body heat was gone. I’d just let out all of my anger, got my brains fucked out, and now I felt like a shell. I was hollow and there was nothing inside of me but thoughts and emotions. Left alone with both, forced to face how he made me feel. I couldn’t scramble fast enough to lock them in the box that separated them from me.
A part of me wanted him to get dressed and leave without another word. Maybe if he treated me that way, I would actually hate him. I think it would make it easier for me to distance myself from him if he just treated me like nothing after he got what he wanted. But a bigger part of me, a part I tried to ignore, wanted him to pick me up in his arms and hold me. I wanted him to tell me he wanted me now, that he’d made a mistake and had been a fool. I wanted him to apologize for how stupid he’s been, to say sorry for everything he’s done.
The image of him holding me close, his lips parting to whisper how sorry he is, his eyes fierce with… an emotion other than hate. My throat tightens and I know I’m being stupid. I barely knew the man that was supposed to be my mate, but if he actually loved me, he would talk to me. He’d tell me why he was this way, how he became this jaded, he’d try to make it work.
Outside of fucking me, this man didn’t want anything to do with me.
The truth stared me right in the face. Shane fucked me liked he hated me because he did. I was weak in his eyes and he sees me as nothing more than something that belonged to him. I was his, and not in the way that mattered. I’m standing at the precipice, stuck between two options. Looking back over my shoulder was safety, I could reject Shane and find happiness in myself or a chosen mate. Someone nice, like Chance.
I swallowed and closed my eyes. There was warmth back there. Mentally looking forward, I stared the second option in the face. I could focus on Shane and only him. I could let him wreck my pussy, my mind, and soul. I could let him use me until he’s done with me. It didn’t matter how much I pretended to fight him. I’d have to throw away my wants, my hopes and dreams for a future because Shane isn’t someone that will love me. He’d tear my world apart.
Opening my eyes, I sat up and swiped the stray tears away before he could notice. I didn’t want to be the girl that cried after sex, nor did I want to show him just how vulnerable he made me. I stared at the seat and waited for him to do or say something. I just wanted to be alone right now. The sound of his footsteps growing nearer only told me I would not get what I wanted. I refused to look at him.
“Get up,” Shane said gruffly. I didn’t answer, and the silence was deafening. What was he going to do? Choke me? He already did that. Hurt me? He’d already hurt my heart more than I’d ever allowed anyone to.
“I don’t take orders from you,” I whispered.
“I’m taking you home,” he grunted.
My heart skipped a beat, and I hated it. I think I would prefer it if he slapped me again. I liked the way he used his belt more than I should have. I wanted him to be mean to me. At least I expected that from him. I don’t think I could handle kindness from this man, or maybe I jumped the gun too soon. Maybe he’s just being possessive. That I could handle. Kindness would only make me greedy.
“I’m not going home with you. What part of ‘I hate you’ do you not understand?” I laughed. One second I was thinking of being pathetic for him and the next, I was ready to claw his eyes out.
“Not mine, yours. I’m taking you to yours,” Shane said.
“And why the ever-loving fuck would you do that?” I asked incredulously.
“Just get your ass up, Adea, before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of this club naked,” he sighed.
“Don’t fucking do that. Who are you? I don’t need you to take me home. There are oth—”
“I’d rethink finishing that sentence if I were you,” Shane growled.
“Oh? Really? Good thing I’m not you,” I spat.
“Have you not learned? You’re like a hissing kitten. Just fucking listen for once in your Goddess-damned life,” Shane groaned.
“I don’t have to go anywhere with you. You’re not my mate. You’re not my man. Damn the gods, you’re not even my friend. So no, I will not be going with you,” I said stubbornly. I could feel his gaze burning holes into the back of my head, but I refused to look at him.
“Suit yourself, Princess,” Shane murmured.
My eyes widened as strong hands lifted me into the air. My hands flew out to grab anything that could keep me from falling. I was pulled against his chest, my arm around his neck, and his face too close to my own. I turned away from him seconds before he tossed me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Let go of me right now!” I yelled.
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