Guests
Later that night when the guests finally departed. Ava walked me up to my room and I bolted it shut. She left and when I turned around I almost screamed. Shane was in the room. I hadn’t expected him to be up here. I still hadn’t come to terms with the rumors or decided what I thought about the. Yet here he was, he had jumped up from the floor and scared the life out of me. What do I say? Do I say anything? Do I ask him about it? Or do I ignore it and pretend I didn’t hear anything? I shake my head. No. That’s not me. I may keep my mouth shut around everyone else but not around Shane, not with him. We talk, we don’t hide things.
“What took you so long?” Shane asked. His lips were down turned and I wondered what peed in his soup.
“We had guests.”
“What kind of guests? Who?” Shane asked as he strode across the room to us.
“What if she caught you here?” I asked. “What if she came in?”
“She didn’t come in, did she?” Shane asked.
I didn’t like my question being answered with another question. It was a pet peeve of mine.
“She could have Shane. What would we have done if Ava caught you? What if she could smell you? What if she mind-linked my father about you?” I asked.
“She didn’t.”
“Please, we have to be more careful. We don’t have that much time together and—”
“Who said we don’t have much time together?” He asked.
“You can stay in the dark and pretend you don’t know what’s coming up, you can pretend you don’t know but we both do! I’m going to be taken away from here and mated in a few months’ time. I don’t want anything happening to you while I’m here. I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurt, or worse, killed.”
“I can’t be killed.”
“Nonsense! I don’t want to hear it. You know as well as I do that if my father finds out about you, you’ll be tortured and killed. Please, I can’t… I couldn’t bear staying in a world that you were no longer living in. I couldn’t bear to sleep under the stars and the moon that you were no longer looking up in wonder at. So please, just promise,” I choked on a sob. “Promise to be more careful.”
“I promise.”
“Thank you,” I said as I brushed away stray tears.
He grabbed a handful of hair in his hand and pulled me close until our lips were an inch apart. He lowered his chin and stared into my eyes.
“You are mine.”
“I am yours,” I repeated.
“I am yours.”
“You are mine,” I confirmed.
His chest rumbled in approval and I closed my eyes as I inhaled his familiar scent.
“We have to talk.”
“Oh?” Shane asked as he cocked his head.
“Yes.” I tried to pull back but he didn’t let me go. His arms wrapped around me and held me closer.
“Go on. Tell me what you have to say.”
“Is it true?” I asked. I was never one to beat around the bush when it came to Shane. We were straightforward with each other and I thought we didn’t have any lies between the two of us. I needed to be sure. I needed to hear what he had to say.
“Is what true?”
“Don’t.. don’t play coy with me, Shane. Not tonight,” I sighed.
“I’m not playing. Ask me directly, Princess,” Shane said huskily.
“Are you seeing someone else?” I asked.
He didn’t flinch. His eyes didn’t widen. His expression didn’t change. He just stared down at me as if I’d asked him if it rained today. He stared down at me as if the question I’d just asked hadn’t been one that could rock the very foundation of our relationship.
“I only love you.”
“That’s not my question,” I asked. “Is there someone else?”
“Yes.”
That one word was like a punch to the gut. I felt as if someone had taken a small blade and rammed it into my chest. How could he say it so nonchalant? How could he do this to me? Why? When? For how long? I tried to push off of him but he wouldn’t let me go. He held me tight and all I could think of was these same arms wrapping around another. All I could think about was these lips pressed against another. All I could think about was his tongue buried inside of another. I pushed him back. He didn’t budge. I brought fist after fist down onto his chest.
“Let me go! Let me go now, Shane!” He didn’t say anything as I continued to fight against him. “Damn it, let go of me! Why? Why did you do that? Was I not enough? I … Goddess… I’m so stupid. I thought…” I broke down in tears. “Why?”
“You are enough.”
“Then, why?” I cried.
“I told you my tastes are… different.”
“We’ve been experimenting. Have you not enjoyed it?” I asked. My heart felt like it was shattering.
“I’ve loved every moment of it, Princess. I…”
“You did but I don’t see how that matters here. What do your tastes being the way they are have to do with you being with someone else? Goddess!! Did you fuck her?” I asked.
“It matters because they’re sadistic and sick. I’m losing control with you and I’m always in control with you. With her, I don’t have to. I’ve wanted to do things to you. Dark and depraved things, Adea. I want to lose myself with you, but I can’t yet. You’re the one good thing I have left in my life. Did I fuck her? Yes, I fucked her. I fucked her every way I wanted, no, every way I NEEDED. I fucked her and I thought of you the whole fucking time.
“It matters because they’re sadistic. I didn’t want to hurt you and I didn’t want to lose it and do something to you that you couldn’t handle.”
“How would you know if you’ve never had me? How would you know what I can and cannot handle, Shane Why would you do that with someone else? How could you? You’re disgusting. You’re vile. You’ve… you’ve hurt me, Shane. I hate you. Goddess I fucking hate you.”
“I didn’t want to snap, but at the same time, Adea, I do. I want to hurt you. I want to take you in every way that I want. I want to lose myself with yo—”
“Then do it! Fucking do it. Don’t make that choice for me, don’t be like them.”