Wouldn't
My first month in Crimson Moon Pack went the same way as the first day. After how I acted that first night, Ethan forbade the warriors from letting me leave the room. He told me that everything I needed was in this room and everything that wasn’t would be delivered and it was. I was brought the bare minimum. Meals three times a day and drinks were brought up to my room.
The servants came every day to dress me, run my bath, and prepare me for Ethan’s nightly visits. I tried the first two weeks to talk to them but they refused to speak. I assumed Ethan spoke to them, threatening them to keep them from talking to me. I finally gave up and stopped trying to talk to them. I knew if I had a chance at getting one of them to help me it was Nicole. I only needed one thing and time was ticking.
Every day they came in when I woke and helped me wash. If I was cut or hurt they would try their best to patch me up. They would leave me and I would have the day to myself until the sun began to make its descent. Then the servants would reappear to dress me and make me presentable for Ethan. Every day was the same as the last but still, I fought. Still, I refused to take it laying down.
I tried everything I could to distract myself during the day. At first, I would try to escape into the fantasy worlds that sat on the shelves that lined the wall behind my bed. It didn’t really work but it was a comfort. The only comfort I had in this prison cell. It didn’t last though. There was only so much I could do to busy my mind from the fear that crept in with the night.
By the third week, I would pick up a book and read a few pages, but my mind would wander and my body would tense. I would find myself, hours later, staring at the walls. I knew what was happening. I was losing it. I was starting to lose my mind and my grip on reality. Ethan was killing me, not physically, but mentally by becoming the center of my world.
The meals looked amazing but quickly started to taste like dirt. It wasn’t appealing and even though I didn’t want to eat, I forced myself to for strength. As soon as I would eat dinner a sense of dread would fill my chest. It felt as if the walls were closing in on me and I found it hard to breathe. I would have episodes where I told myself that all I needed to do was inhale and air would fill my lungs. The sun would begin to set and I knew what was coming.
It was hell. I was living in hell and there was no way I would be able to crawl out on my own. There was no way to escape from the tight grip that Ethan had on me. I knew that was wrong though. There was one way I would be able to get anything I wanted, but the thought alone brought bile to my mouth. I would rather gouge my eyes out. I couldn’t, no, I wouldn’t do what he wanted.
I wouldn’t play the perfect mate, or the perfect Luna, not after he locked me up in here. I wouldn’t pretend to enjoy what he did to me every night. I feared that the moment I started to pretend I wouldn’t be able to stop. I feared the moment I stopped fighting I wouldn’t be able to pick myself up and fight him again.
A month had passed, my first month here in Crimson Moon pack without a word from him. Without a letter, without my wolf, without leaving this room. The guards only spoke to me when they brought news and the servants didn’t speak to me. For the first time in my entire life, I was alone. The only person that could hold a conversation with me was Ethan.
The door flew open and banged against the wall announcing his entrance. Only one person would barge into my room like that. I continued to twirl a strand of hair around my finger as I absent-mindedly brushed my hair. He stormed into the room and stomped his way over to me by the edge of the bed.
The sky was painted pink and purple tonight. He panted above me and when I continued to ignore him he ripped the brush from my hand and threw it across the room. It clacked against the wall and fell to the ground with a loud clack. I wasn’t sure of what he wanted me to do but I chose to continue to ignore him. I wouldn’t give him the attention he so sought.
He didn’t bend, he didn’t lower himself he stood tall and glared down at me. A firm hand gripped the back of my neck and I was pulled to my feet. Ethan was behaving like a child throwing a tantrum. I sighed heavily and his other hand lifted my chin.
Our eyes met and he searched my face for something. I had no clue what it was. When he seemed satisfied he crashed his lips to mine. It was all teeth and brute force. He forced his way into my mouth and attacked my tongue. Still, I did not respond. Frustrated, he pulled away but kept his hand on the back of my neck.
“I have good news. Do you want to hear it?” Ethan asked.
“You came all this way. You must want to say it,” I said nonchalantly.
Nothing made me more uneasy than the idea of what it could be. I hated that I felt so lonely in these walls. It pissed me off that I liked that he came here to talk to me. It would save me from having to talk to him first.
“There’s a new Alpha,” Ethan hinted.
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